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what's so wrong with it?


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I've been cutting for going on four years now. I've had periods where i've stopped but they've never lasted long. they were all because friends that knew about it had such a huge problem with it, i didn't want to upset them. but i get selfish and always go back to it. I wish i wanted to stop. but its the only thing thats ever worked for me and i don't want to give that up. i just dont get whats so wrong with it! its just a way of coping. its a less common one sure, and i think people just are scared of what they don't understand. its a tough one to understand if you don't do it so i dont blame them, but there is no doubt my friends would have much less of a problem if i just got drunk or lit up instead of cutting. its not any more destructive than those. whats wrong?

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You admitted that it's destructive. Drinking is destructive, too. Even if we lived in a world where SI were more common, would that make it OK? Not really. It's still doing damage to your body.

There are other ways of coping that are positive, that can make you feel better than SI. It takes some doing to get used to it, but eventually it feels better. It makes you happier. It can be just as much as a rush. It's different, but it happiness can be a drug, too.

Are you in therapy right now?

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To be honest, I struggle with this same thinking. However, whether SI is "bad" or not, the fact remains that it's destructive and maladaptive. You can damage nerves or connective tissue, like tendons. Skin that has been scarred by cutting or burning will remain more sensitive, and more prone to re-injury. There is also the risk of infection, which is no laughing matter. That's not even taking into consideration the impact it has on relationships and (for some people) self image.

I think it isn't so much whether cutting is "worse" than other negative coping mechanisms like smoking or drinking, so much as whether there are better choices out there. Obviously, there are, and it would behoove all of us who struggle with maladaptive coping to treat ourselves a little more kindly, right? I have seen what late-stage alcoholism looks like; it's taken three of my uncles, and is contributing to the death of a fourth. Emphysema killed my dad. To me, the comparison of SI to these other addictive, negative, potentially lethal behaviors is a wake-up call, not a justification.

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I don't know what you pictured for your life, but was SI really a day to day part of the best life you could dream of? Is it really how you hoped life would turn out for you? I'd argue that there is a life without SI which is possible for you, where emotional issues are dealt with in healthy ways, so you can get on life with living and happiness and love. You're a human being with free will that includes the choice to cut. I know any lasting change will come from you when you're ready. It would be unrealistic to ask you to stop without having a healthy alternative. Most people here are coming to a point of not wanting to self harm for the reason listed above. Even if you're not there yet, we can still support you emotionally, you don't have to live with the kind of judgement you get from your friends, here at CB. We talk a lot about dealing with emotion, self soothing and we support each other in learning better ways to deal. You're very welcome to be a part of that.

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No, they won't automatically hospitalize you for that. They may ask you to sign a safety contract, where you promise to call them instead of cutting. I think the doctors' goal is mainly to keep you out of the hospital.

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