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Hi from Vancouver Canada!

I think i was completely misdiagnosed for Bipolar and Schizophrenia. All i had was really low self esteem and a tiny bit of anxiety(at times in my life under intense stress) No offense, but psychiatry has gotten me nowhere. All i got from it was diabetes, a fucked up liver and gained 100lbs(to add to the more low self esteem). I mean, is there even a pill for low self esteem? The Zyrpexa did nothing for me except made me feel dull and lifeless...like i was watching life go by through a tv or something....dampened emotion. I'm now off the Zyprexa for 5 weeks. I've travelled light years to get where i am now. The first 3 weeks were total hell, then it plataued for the a week then i'm really starting to feel normal again. The worst of it was the depersonalization and derealization....i have NEVER gone through that in my life before EVER. Hallucinations as well....thoughts became more powerful than the sensation of reality....i was getting like 2 hours of sleep a night...i came really close to going to the hospital but my wife would talk me through these wierd psychotic panick attacks. Came very close to taking this toxic medication again. Always felt like there was someone right behind me. At one point i couldn't even leave my couch without freaking out...but now i'm getting way better. I never should have been on this crap in the first place. Next is to wean off the lithium(later on).

Picture i made to express what i was going through.

Some of this, the contrast and stuff is a visual of what i had and still have a tiny bit. Most of it is symbolic. The sphere representing the self trying to escape this nightmare being bottled up. Demonic thoughts and darkness. Depersonalization which is a major symptom and most terrifying symptom of all, even worse than the mild hallucinations. It's really weird though, i have never experienced ANYTHING like this in my life except for being on godly amounts of hallucinogenics. But i STILL never have experienced depersonalization/derealization, that stuff is just way too messed up for me to handle. But it hasn't happened to me for 3 days now so i'm recovering for sure. Antipsychotics really really really frak up your brain chemistry. So be careful before you get prescribed them. Make sure they are your LAST resort.

You might have to zoom in when you click on it and it goes to imageshack..then just zoom in at the top of the image...the details are where its at, you cant really seem them at small size.....


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I'm glad you found us but I must warn you that we're overwhelmingly a pro-medication, pro-treatment, pro-psychiatry site. I don't know how much help and support you'll find here if you refuse proper treatment. We're a forum for people in treatment, not a substitute for treatment.

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