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I'm not sure if all of the subtypes and what-not might be able to relate to this (BPD) but for me it's one of the most irritating parts of BPD.

In a day of Instant Messaging, texting, and smartphones, pretty much every reply to anything for me is instant. I will wake up from a near-dead sleep if my phone alerts me, just so I can make sure I'm up and ready if someone needs something.

Having friends with smartphones who are equally attached to them is the worst. It might sound ideal for someone in my situation; I know they're always going to respond, and always going to be clinging to their phone. however, if they're a sane person, or just not as obsessed as I am, they might leave it somewhere and that's fine, probably even healthy.

But it sucks trying to get a hold of someone repeatedly when you know they have their phone with them and they're not responding. It's just an example, but it's something I know I struggle with all the time. I start obsessing: Did I do something? Why are they ignoring me? Who are they with? Are they sick of my crap yet?

I usually try to contain myself by seeing how long I can go without looking at or thinking about my phone, or I do something that's going to take a lot of time. I'll try to master guitar hero, or watch a movie, or something else, and I will leave my phone in the other room. That way I don't have to concentrate on the imaginary being ignored.

Anyways, how else do people with BPD cope with feeling ignored? I am pretty certain that this goes with the abandonment issues, and how they make us desperate sometimes. Coping mechanisms would be fantastic, so I want to hear input!

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Hey,

I used to get really obsessive like that, so you're not alone there.

I wound up making a deal with my close friends that if they were upset with me/mad at me they would tell me and not just give me the silent treatment.

That sort of helped me to feel less ignored when someone didn't reply right away.

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I wish I knew!!! My boyfriend does that to me all the time!!! Of course hes a big stoner so I think he just forgets but I obsessively FREAK out!!! Its only mental though.I mean on the

exterior only a few people would know what was wrong with me.The way I cope is just think to myself how I need to break up with him or do it back to him. Then he usually surprises me and calls.

This is a hard one for sure...

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have exactly the same issue. always obsessing if someone doesn't respond to my text within 5 minutes or if someone doesn't pick up their phone. the worst is when your call has been blatantly rejected, then i become completely panicky. a few times that happened though it turned out people were in meetings or at work and forgot to turn their phone off. i second what tryp said, i always make deals with significant others (with all of my ex-gfs and my closest friends) that if i do something wrong they won't give me silent treatment and openly let me know/discuss it with me. that really, really helps me. also sometimes i try to figure out the person's "phone hygiene" when i'm with them: when do they answer calls and why? when do they not and why? and also, if you know a person, you know what their habits/behaviours/lifestyle is so you can always do a little cognitive restructuring and try to think of alternative things these people might be doing instead of actively ignoring you. you can write these alternative things on a sheet of paper and put little percentages of how certain you are they may be true. e.g. "this person is probably in a meeting right now, X%". over time, you will become more confident of these alternative things because you will learn from experience that this person was indeed in a meeting that one time.

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I'm having this exact same problem RIGHT NOW. I hate feeling ignored, and just when I've "given up" on the person, they surprise call me. It REALLY bothers me a LOT.

I think I'll play some video games and leave my phone in the other room... but I think it's particularly difficult in this day and age where you know SO MUCH about what someone is doing based on the computer and technology, but the information is always incomplete and sometimes unreliable.

So, I don't have any advice because I have the exact same problem, but I am going to try what was mentioned above by doing my video game thing.

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I have that same problem! I just try to breathe and think about other possible things they may be busy with but if its someone im dating i tend to overreact even more! Lately a huge problem i have is if i haven't talked to a friend for a few days or a few weeks i feel forgotten or that they moved on from being my friend. Its worse when i know someone is cool with me and if i see them in public i freak out and tend to ignore them because i feel like they dont want to be seen with me or talk to me or have forgotten me..... hard to explain but maybe someone will get the just.

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