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I am depressed


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I am really depressed! So depressed and i dont know what to do. My grand is dying i dont think we will make it till tomorrow! He is in cape town, which is quite far from me.

Girls at work (i work with 14 dietician - its like high school al over again, told me that i look unkept, i dont was my hair enough and if i couldn't be bother to highlight it i should dye it a darker colour? My hair is blond anyway.

Its like the cherry on the top. I just dont want to do life anyway. I just would like to put pause on for a while. I got work tomorrow and i got to do. And i just don't know to.

I am having crazy dreams, and get so confused what happened or not, its so confusing!!!

I need a bake!!!!!!

Getting desperate

xox

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The girls at work can go to hell - it really does sound like highschool all over again.

Please call your pdoc tomorrow Ash, and try to hang in there tonight. And you can PM me anytime you like.

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I am sorry that you are feeling bad, and especially sorry that your grandfather is so sick. I hope everything turns out for the best with him. Again, I am really sorry.

As SashaSue has already mentioned, you have a lot of room to play with in your meds. What about changing your antidepressant? I don't know how long you've been on Prozac, but it can poop out and become ineffective. Talk to your pdoc. He/She can definitely help you.

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thank you! I am going to make a phone call in the morning. And in the mean time I am trying so hard to keep up the rat race of high school at work. Washing and straighten my hair (wore a pretty alice band with sparkles on it - he he). Its exhausting when you tired. But i don't want people to stair and think i am incompetent.

I will phone the doctor in the morning. Just trying to do damage control at work. sigh

I hate girls sometime!

I really appreciate everybody a lot.

I'm just tired of the up and down! I just want it to stop now! i said the last time i got depressed was the last time. How do i keep a job, have a relationship, make a new friend. I am exhausted

xox

(Thanx Miab - missed you lately)

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Sorry you're having such a bad time, and really sorry about your grandfather. It's tough to deal with illness and death. Hope your pdoc is able to help you out. And try to forget the idiots at work - it's not a fashion show, after all.

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I am sorry about your grand dad, and screw those bitches you work with, women can be the absolute worst. I have been a nurse for 16 years, worked almost exclusively with women so I know where you are coming from with that. As far as your depression, PLEASE get to your pdoc soon. I have had depression on and off my whole life, and in January of this year I experienced two weeks of the worst depression I have ever had. I stayed in the bed, and couldn't function at all. It was so excruciatingly painful. I finally decided I couldn't take the pain anymore and made a serious attempt at suicide which obviously failed. I don't want you to get to that point, that is why I say again, PLEASE go see your pdoc and let him help you. Good luck to you.:rolleyes:

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my grandad died on monday morning, very sad.

I actually couldn't manage to go to work on tuesday. And i feel evil!!!! But my grampsie, i kind of used him as an excuse! Its not that i love him and yes i was devastated. But i was depressed before!!!! But tuesday, i woke up, i went to the kitchen, boiled the kettle. Look at the bath, and though i could go without..... so i climbed back into bed and smsed my boss and used my grampsie as an excuse!!!!!! I mean, i was depressed before and it didn't help. I just couldn't make it to work. I tried to leave the house cause i had to fix the tv and made it down the road, then drove back! too tired. I went to the pdoc on tuesday afternoon though! thank goodness! He is yes very concerned. And he knows that i don't want to loose my job and be did say my life was more important the my job! sigh! He is giving me the benifit of the doubt - kinda, but i can see him itching to put me back in hospital. He knows i am a sweet girl and he worried/knows that i won't call for help when i need it. I try not be a drama queen, which is actually not the best thing when it comes to psych i guess!

A part of me is semi learning to go back to hospital, but it is my grampsie's memorial on saturday! And my mum needs me :( tricky. I promised that i would phone if i never went to work today.

I don't know what to do?

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my grandad died on monday morning, very sad.

I actually couldn't manage to go to work on tuesday. And i feel evil!!!! But my grampsie, i kind of used him as an excuse! Its not that i love him and yes i was devastated. But i was depressed before!!!! But tuesday, i woke up, i went to the kitchen, boiled the kettle. Look at the bath, and though i could go without..... so i climbed back into bed and smsed my boss and used my grampsie as an excuse!!!!!! I mean, i was depressed before and it didn't help. I just couldn't make it to work. I tried to leave the house cause i had to fix the tv and made it down the road, then drove back! too tired. I went to the pdoc on tuesday afternoon though! thank goodness! He is yes very concerned. And he knows that i don't want to loose my job and be did say my life was more important the my job! sigh! He is giving me the benifit of the doubt - kinda, but i can see him itching to put me back in hospital. He knows i am a sweet girl and he worried/knows that i won't call for help when i need it. I try not be a drama queen, which is actually not the best thing when it comes to psych i guess!

A part of me is semi learning to go back to hospital, but it is my grampsie's memorial on saturday! And my mum needs me :( tricky. I promised that i would phone if i never went to work today.

I don't know what to do?

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I'm sorry to hear about your grandad dying, i'm going through hell with mine being very ill at the moment so i can sympathize.

It sounds like from your above posts that you needed to take Tuesday for yourself. If you can make it through the service Saturday why not admit yourself on Sunday, it sounds like you could really benefit from the hospital helping to get you straightened out. Not to mention the added stress of a death on your system. I'm sure your family would want you to take care of yourself, and didn't you say your boss was pretty understanding about your mi and needing to miss time from work. I would take care of yourself before you are to the point where your work starts to really suffer.

Again I'm sorry for your loss.

my grandad died on monday morning, very sad.

I actually couldn't manage to go to work on tuesday. And i feel evil!!!! But my grampsie, i kind of used him as an excuse! Its not that i love him and yes i was devastated. But i was depressed before!!!! But tuesday, i woke up, i went to the kitchen, boiled the kettle. Look at the bath, and though i could go without..... so i climbed back into bed and smsed my boss and used my grampsie as an excuse!!!!!! I mean, i was depressed before and it didn't help. I just couldn't make it to work. I tried to leave the house cause i had to fix the tv and made it down the road, then drove back! too tired. I went to the pdoc on tuesday afternoon though! thank goodness! He is yes very concerned. And he knows that i don't want to loose my job and be did say my life was more important the my job! sigh! He is giving me the benifit of the doubt - kinda, but i can see him itching to put me back in hospital. He knows i am a sweet girl and he worried/knows that i won't call for help when i need it. I try not be a drama queen, which is actually not the best thing when it comes to psych i guess!

A part of me is semi learning to go back to hospital, but it is my grampsie's memorial on saturday! And my mum needs me :( tricky. I promised that i would phone if i never went to work today.

I don't know what to do?

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First of all, most ADULTS one has to work with have a universal problem--they think they are still in the 3rd grade and everyon3 wantss to talkk about everyone, and who is your ffriend, etc. Go in do your job, an go home--they are not yourfriends, don't need to be your friends, and its better off if they are not.

So sorry about your gramps--I will tell you how I made it thru my dad's death--he was almost 90, and furious about getting old.So I looked at his death as as way his ever-youthful spirit was no longer tied down by his body, which was breaking up and letting him down daily. He was free from the pain and inconvenience of that body. Hope thathelps.

And yes, I am back, alive and well, living on the beach, but thats another story.

Much love and blessings, china

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hey Chinacat, sorry but i don't quite understand what are you saying?

I am really good friends with the girls I work with, there is 14 girls in my department it is hard not to be.

Are you saying I must grow up and deal with it?

And i am not upset, i am just trying to understand?

xox

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I was thinking that the girls at work don't seem very compassionate or helpful--and often thats because when we work wtih a group of people, especially women, we tend to form clicks and treat each other rather rudeley, because we think we all have to be good friends, or compete against each other. It seem to me you could use some support from some of those co-workers. It sounds like since you refer to them as friends, they could be some hlep and support

Your sorrow is yours right now, and natural. Take time to take care of yourself, and remember, this that hit "normal" (ha) people hard can knock us crazies under the bus. Blessings to you and yor grandfather for healing ad peace for him.

BTW, I had to put the originnal "China cat" to sleep yesterday, at 15 years old.

Hope this makes sense--I'm hot and tired and sad from getting rid of the cat mess in my house so I don't have to look at it.

Blessings, china

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I was thinking that the girls at work don't seem very compassionate or helpful--and often thats because when we work wtih a group of people, especially women, we tend to form clicks and treat each other rather rudeley, because we think we all have to be good friends, or compete against each other. It seem to me you could use some support from some of those co-workers. It sounds like since you refer to them as friends, they could be some hlep and support

Your sorrow is yours right now, and natural. Take time to take care of yourself, and remember, this that hit "normal" (ha) people hard can knock us crazies under the bus. Blessings to you and yor grandfather for healing ad peace for him.

BTW, I had to put the originnal "China cat" to sleep yesterday, at 15 years old.

Hope this makes sense--I'm hot and tired and sad from getting rid of the cat mess in my house so I don't have to look at it.

Blessings, china

I don't really think Ashdene's told us enough about her co-workers for any of us to be making these kinds of judgements about them. For all we know, they were trying to be helpful with their comments, and were just sort of clumsy about it.

I hate, hate, hate, the stereotype that women workng together are going to be either cliquey or catty. That has never once been my experience.

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