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Anyone, please help


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Hi all,

I need some help because lately I have some things getting me down. Really down and anxious. There are issues that I must confront as now I don't really have any choice. Well, really two issues, one personal and one professional. The problem that I am having is that I will experience an extreme amount of anxiety confronting these issues. The anxiety is so extreme that I have been procrastinating for over a year.

My meds do not help with this anxiety. Alcohol (yeah, I know, it's bad) does not help - it just makes avoiding the issues easier. I know that there is no way out but to confront them, but I want either to run away or to die. I mean, the anxiety is so bad that I can't stand to even think about them, not even think a small bit about them. Even though I have not mentioned what they are, just writing this has me shaking.

Now, I need to point out that there is nothing really objectively horrible about these issues - no threat to life or liberty. Anyone else could handle them without any problems and would not even think twice about it. But for me, they are so very important that the anxiety barrier is almost insurmountable.

How do I even go about tackling them? I know, I can break them down into smaller tasks, but that is not the issue. The issue is the anxiety barrier. To tackle even a small piece is like tackling the whole problem anxiety wise.

The fear, of course, is fear of failure. But I cannot afford to fail in these two things. I can't just write them off. My life is depending on them. I can't afford to screw this up. Plus, a lot of it does not depend on me. And there is and can never be a Plan B.

Any ideas, thoughts, suggestions, comments or help will be GREATLY appreciated.

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Does your life literally depend on these things, or is this the anxiety talking? I ask because anxiety can make things feel like a huge deal when really, it's manageable.

I guess without knowing what the things are, I'm not sure if I can tell you how to approach the anxiety. Sometimes just throwing yourself in a situation, while terrifying, is the only way to do it.

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Does your life literally depend on these things, or is this the anxiety talking? I ask because anxiety can make things feel like a huge deal when really, it's manageable.

I guess without knowing what the things are, I'm not sure if I can tell you how to approach the anxiety. Sometimes just throwing yourself in a situation, while terrifying, is the only way to do it.

Thanks, rowen. My life doesn't literally depend on these things, but I would no longer want to live if they didn't pan out. Ok. I'll say what one is: one is looking for and finding a job. But this is directly related to the personal issue which I can say with certainty that I would not want to live if it didn't work out. I find that my anxiety is in direct proportion to the importance to me.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I don't know if this will help, or even if it's accurate.

But I've been reading a lot about pure OCD (where the "compulsions" are non-visible, as in, a person does their checking in their mind) and something that's come up over and over again is that a person with anxiety needs to accept the uncertainty.

This will freak you out, so maybe stop reading if you're worried.

Think about the possibility of not getting a job.

NOW say to yourself, "It is okay if I do not get this job. In fact, I don't even WANT to get this job! I'd be happier without it!"

It's about what you said - dialing down the importance of the thing to you. If the world doesn't hang on this, then the less stressed you'll be. What's something that doesn't matter? Which pair of socks you wear a certain day? No anxiety there. :)

I really hope this helps, even a little. Good luck to you.

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