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How do you decide when it's time to go to the hospital?


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So, I ran out of my meds on Saturday and couldn't get into a walk in clinic. When my fiance went to the pharmacy to pick up a different prescription on Sunday morning he found out that my pharmacare coverage had lapsed and that I'd have to pay full price for my psych meds until I could get things worked out. I had the genius idea that I could go a couple of days until I could see my doctor and get things arranged. Life went downhill quickly. I swear it wasn't an actual I want to go off my meds thing but rather an I'm an idiot who thought she could handle it and couldn't seem to think things through thing.

I slept through all of Monday and didn't even manage a call to my doctor. Tuesday was agony and I started to become increasingly afraid to leave the house and couldn't really function. I just basically hid in the bedroom and very, very carefully read in order to not be in my own head. Yesterday my fiance noticed how fucked up I was and did a non-crazy thing. He called my doctor for me and got an appointment for today and a one day emergency supply of medication for me. Today I couldn't get out of the apartment in order to go to the appointment. Hell, I can't even take the dogs out.

I finally got a moment of sanity a few minutes ago and arranged an appointment with my doctor for Saturday when my fiance can take me. I also called the pharmacy and they are making up another couple of days worth of emergency meds. That's good.

In my the meantime I've fluctuated between mixed state agitated, angry, crying,anxious and depressed. My fiance had a conversation with me about how he's tired of all this and has basically said that I could get my act together or leave. Fair enough sentiment but bad time to discuss it. I managed to not cut when he stormed out but I did start looking around for ways to kill myself. Turns out my house is remarkably underprepared for the suicidal. I'm sure this is a good thing and rational me may have thought this through. Crazy me was pissed but then took some more clonazepam and went to sleep.

I want to be dead. I'm a burden to everyone human in my life. I'm fucking failing my dogs and late feeding my cats. The cockatiel and guinea pig seem to still be okay with me though. Honestly. most times the animals are the only ones that I'm consistently reasonably sure are better off having me around. I'm fucking that up too. I don't have a specific plan that I intend to implement but the feeling is very much there. I have my fall back plans but I'm holding off right now, I don't know if I can be trusted. I'm considering going to the ER, when my fiance gets home in a few hours I'll talk about it with him. I think it might be time. I'm terrified. I just want to hide in the house and hope that my Saturday appointment will be able to work some things out but I'm not sure. I'm not even seeing a pdoc anymore because I had been stable enough to not be a priority for their limited resources. My insurance coverage ran out for nifty things like therapy.

If I do go in what does one pack for a hospital stay? Just in case they make me stay inpatient. I'm doing a hypo ramble at the moment so lists and lists and crying and lists. I was thinking the obvious toothbrush, shampoo etc. Yoga pants and shirts and stuff? Will they let me have my ebook, cell and ipod? I need the ebook it's keeping my sanity right now. Dammit.

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I'm sorry you are feeling this way. My rule of thumb is that when things get bad and I start to feel like it's the hospital or doing something drastic I go.

If you go to the hospital most hospitals will let you bring in a toothbrush, they'll supply the toothpaste. No shampoo/conditioner - they'll supply that too.

Shoes that don't lace, I usually just bring footy socks - or most will give you hospital socks. Loose comfortable clothing, no strings or laces involved. Nothing electronic or with cords. Bring a list of all the medications you take. Maybe bring a paperback or two. That's pretty much all I can think of that you will need. No plastic bags, basically anything you could use to hurt yourself with should stay at home. They'll lock up your valuables, but you are pretty much not going to have access to cellphones or what not while you are there.

Going in isn't a bad thing if you need to go, you meet a wide variety of people, and it removes some of the stress from living day to day.

So, I ran out of my meds on Saturday and couldn't get into a walk in clinic. When my fiance went to the pharmacy to pick up a different prescription on Sunday morning he found out that my pharmacare coverage had lapsed and that I'd have to pay full price for my psych meds until I could get things worked out. I had the genius idea that I could go a couple of days until I could see my doctor and get things arranged. Life went downhill quickly. I swear it wasn't an actual I want to go off my meds thing but rather an I'm an idiot who thought she could handle it and couldn't seem to think things through thing.

I slept through all of Monday and didn't even manage a call to my doctor. Tuesday was agony and I started to become increasingly afraid to leave the house and couldn't really function. I just basically hid in the bedroom and very, very carefully read in order to not be in my own head. Yesterday my fiance noticed how fucked up I was and did a non-crazy thing. He called my doctor for me and got an appointment for today and a one day emergency supply of medication for me. Today I couldn't get out of the apartment in order to go to the appointment. Hell, I can't even take the dogs out.

I finally got a moment of sanity a few minutes ago and arranged an appointment with my doctor for Saturday when my fiance can take me. I also called the pharmacy and they are making up another couple of days worth of emergency meds. That's good.

In my the meantime I've fluctuated between mixed state agitated, angry, crying,anxious and depressed. My fiance had a conversation with me about how he's tired of all this and has basically said that I could get my act together or leave. Fair enough sentiment but bad time to discuss it. I managed to not cut when he stormed out but I did start looking around for ways to kill myself. Turns out my house is remarkably underprepared for the suicidal. I'm sure this is a good thing and rational me may have thought this through. Crazy me was pissed but then took some more clonazepam and went to sleep.

I want to be dead. I'm a burden to everyone human in my life. I'm fucking failing my dogs and late feeding my cats. The cockatiel and guinea pig seem to still be okay with me though. Honestly. most times the animals are the only ones that I'm consistently reasonably sure are better off having me around. I'm fucking that up too. I don't have a specific plan that I intend to implement but the feeling is very much there. I have my fall back plans but I'm holding off right now, I don't know if I can be trusted. I'm considering going to the ER, when my fiance gets home in a few hours I'll talk about it with him. I think it might be time. I'm terrified. I just want to hide in the house and hope that my Saturday appointment will be able to work some things out but I'm not sure. I'm not even seeing a pdoc anymore because I had been stable enough to not be a priority for their limited resources. My insurance coverage ran out for nifty things like therapy.

If I do go in what does one pack for a hospital stay? Just in case they make me stay inpatient. I'm doing a hypo ramble at the moment so lists and lists and crying and lists. I was thinking the obvious toothbrush, shampoo etc. Yoga pants and shirts and stuff? Will they let me have my ebook, cell and ipod? I need the ebook it's keeping my sanity right now. Dammit.

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Having been hospitalized at least a dozen times myself, I can tell you that when you begin having the thought; "gee maybe I need to go to the hospital", that's usually the time you need to start packing. If you're feeling unsafe and unsure then it's always better to take the chance and just go. They'll evaluate you and this may also be a good time to get back on the meds that they'll supply. Cell phones and any electronics are going to be taken away from you anyway, but they usually give you a notebook to journal in--no spiral bound if you chose to take your own. I have been where you are now - as a matter of fact I've been considering going to the hospital but I have all kinds of excuses not to, (I know I need to practice what I preach) and I know it's scary as hell, but look at it like a fresh starting off point.

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I was in the psych ward a little over a month ago. I packed and i think that taking shoes with no laces, books (psych ward can be boring), a brush, a list of your meds and dosages as well as meds that haven't worked for you (so you dont get switched to them like i did), toothbrush, and depending on the hospital some clothes. Definitely bring under clothes. If not allowed anything you bring will be saved til you get out. Take a list of important phone numbers. That's all I can think of.

Please go... I was frustrated with some things during my stay but im glad i went. I dream about going back because it was a safe place. Good luck and please take care.

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