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I don't understand. i just don't


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when i talked to my mother about past sexual abuse she told me about how she was tied up by someone and had cigarette burns put on her when she was younger adult. she also suffered physical abuse when she was much younger by parents and siblings. yet she didn't turn out even close to how i turned out. shes considered by many to be bipolar, though. but why no signs of PTSD. why did i have to get PTSD and psychosis? my childhood doesn't seem anywhere near as difficult as my mother's, yet iv almost always felt different from other kids.

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I'm sorry you have to suffer through PTSD and psychosis. I don't think anyone can know why one person may be so affected by something while others are not. I know that I have been much more privileged and fortunate than many of my friends. My family situation is relatively good, no history of abuse, I have parents that care about me and were involved etc. Yet I've spent a lot more of my life depressed than they have. None of this follows any formula. And to be honest I think at some point you have to let go of wondering why things are the way they are and just accept them. There's really nothing important to be gained by trying to understand this in my opinion. Be well, I wish you all the best

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She was a young adult. Was she mentally stable and having a strong sense of self/resiliency? When was your abuse? If younger, that could be a factor. If older, were you as resilient? Hard to say, hmm?

Some people will get, say, ptsd from being touched. Other children grow up to be seemingly fine from r*pe. Because everyone is different, and their mental state before and after, and their coping mechanisms, are all different. Studies are being done in such areas - they're working on it.

Also, it's possible that your mother is appearing fine (obviously this is pure speculation as we've never met her). But quite often our external appearance is fine when we are, in fact, very much not. Also, diagnoses tend to change based on who is doing the diagnosing and how the person presents at that moment in time. We don't place a whole lot of faith in them. We see them more as guidelines, rather than labels.

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I can relate to this. My mother is bipolar, but she takes way fewer meds than I do even though I "only" have clinical depression, and seems to function at a much higher level than I do. It seems unfair to me considering that she didn't seek medical treatment until she was in her 40s whereas I started medical treatment at 25 and at 31 am still struggling to control the beast, even with two antidepressants and a mood stabilizer. Unfortunately some people just have a harder time than their MI relatives and friends, even when it doesn't seem to make sense.

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