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Fear of the chat room


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I have no problem posting when I can think out my questions or my responses, but I am too terrified to enter the chat room. I entered it twice, I think, and quickly exited it. Could someone please tell me what the chat room experience is like and what to expect? What are the rules of etiquette?

I don't know why, but addressing people directly causes me a lot of social anxiety. In real life, I do anything I can to avoid it. But still, I'm interested.

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i was scared of chat too. i'm also scared of instant messaging of any kind and the phone.

i want *time* to think about what to say, dammit.

chat here allows you to do that. when i am there, i can talk if i want, and if i don't want to i don't have to. matter of fact most times i'm there, i'm not talking. i want the feeling that i'm "with" someone, but i don't want to talk either. and it's okay to do that here, because a lot of us feel that way.

you can be silly or serious. you don't have to introduce yourself or anything. just hang out and see what it's like. i'm glad i did, even though i was scared. i'm not scared of chat here anymore.

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I'm scared of chat here. I'm not too afraid to post, most of the time, but being in chat bothers me. It's benign in there, I've been there a couple of times, once I exited quickly and another time I just stayed in there not saying very much. Those are my two experiences with chat. Sometimes I want to go, but I don't. I have problems interacting with others. Like you, I have these trouble IRL, and like lysergia, I hate the phone. So chat is kind of intimidating to me. It's not that I don't like chat, I just don't ever feel like I have anything to contribute, or like I'd annoy people or that they'd think I'm stupid, so I stay away. All of these are probably irrational fears.

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I started using the chat here, and I like it. There's usually so many different things going on there are coinciding conversations about cats, and nails, and medicines, and all kinds of crazy stuff. So, if something looks interesting, hop onto the topic. If not, wait until you see something interesting.

I do like thinking out my responses, but on the other hand I'm impatient so I like how 'instant' it is.

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I was nervous at first, but the chat is really welcoming. You don't have to say anything. You can just lurk if you want.

Also, it's kind of nice to be able to talk to people without having your posts appear semi-permanently on the site. Posts here can come up in Google searches or whatever, so I feel uncomfortable saying things that are personal or identify me in any way, but I feel a lot more comfortable in chat.

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I was soooo afraid of chat when we first got the chat that you can just go to without leaving the website - blanking on what the word is for that. I'd go in and then chicken out and leave right away.

Chat isn't that scary though. Sometimes it's a little overwhelming when there are a lot of people there talking at once, but nobody pressures you to talk and people really try to make sure that new people feel welcomed - I always try to say hello to people coming in and ask how they are and all that. Also you can just sit in there and not say anything at all if you want.

Some people just don't like chat, but give it a chance before you decide. If you don't like it, you can always leave again.

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Wow, thanks guys, I'm glad to know that I'm not alone. I mean, it seems that chat is so popular since I see so many people in there, but I am too shy to go. If there is a conversation going on, what's the etiquette? Just jump in? Isn't that like intruding on someone's conversation?

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Yeah, just jump on in. :) You don't have to worry about starting another conversation topic either. More often than not there's two or three of them going on at one time. Just stay and lurk until you feel comfortable and chime in (or out) whenever you want.

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the thing I like about the new chat is it shows you a few minutes of the conversation before you came in, so you can sort of tell what's going on. but yeah, I think the only rule for changing the subject is that if someone has a mental health question or crisis, that takes precedence over any more casual talk. but yeah you can join the existing conversation or start a new one - usually things are sort of all over the place anyway.

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I love chat! It's awesome to be able to talk to others from CB who are in there chatting. But it's not worth becoming anxious over, you know? But if you're in a crisis and need real time attention chat is always there for you, and so are people. :)

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Guest Vapourware

I'm a regular of the chatroom and I have to say that IMO, there's nothing to be afraid of in there. We don't have a lot of rules in the chat - the same rules that apply to the forum apply to the chatroom. There's a few unspoken rules like we put precedence over mental health chat over other banter, and if anyone finds themselves in a crisis, then we listen to them, but other than that, I don't think we are strict. It's a friendly place and if you're new to the chat then people will generally go out of their way to be welcoming. Plus you're always free to jump into conversations, no-one will mind.

Oh, and hugs are definite no-no :)

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Guest Recluse

I'm with Vapourware on this one. Chat is really nice, but you have to be patient with it. Sometimes there's just nothing going on, and if people are sitting around and not talking, it's not because of you, they're probably idle or doing something else.

Don't expect a parade when you come in, and if someone's having a lame or benign conversation, just bring up whatever you wanted to talk about. Don't take offense if no one talks to you or if it takes a little while to start a conversation, sometimes people are just busy.

There are no extra rules for chat. It's just the same as talking on CB forums, just have fun and don't be a dick, really.

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I tried to go into the chat once, got really anxious and then left before it completely loaded, ahaha, but I'm glad I'm not alone here. It seems pretty friendly. I may have to give it a shot sometime when I feel comfortable.

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Cominng from a person who is always in chat and never shuts the hell up. Dont worry about it, we maybe social outcasts in the real world but here we are all the same and just jump in, there is no real etiquette at all, except the cyber hug stuff lol.

No need to feel weird, we all have felt that way at first, but really just jump in or if you need to talk just say "I need to talk to some one" we stop what ever we are doing, talking about museums or what ever and listen and try to help, or if you want to jump in on a convo it is ok, it isnt like being at a party where you need to sit and just listen and not be rude, we welcome newbies and oldies.

Hope to see all of you soon in chat :)

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yeah my take on chat, is i basically have to remember to be patient and breathe, and i hafta you know be in the mood to chat i guess. specially on here. definitely a good experience for me. and even if there's no one looking to respond to you, take it as their busy as recluse said.

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  • 1 month later...

Yeah...I was just there! I freaked out and left without saying anything. Not even a mere "goodbye".

Oh well. I'm still trying to think of what to say in the forums. cussing.gif

Why not come and lurk? Get a feel of the place. You don't need to say anything if you don't want to. We're all friendly in there.

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