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TEVA833

Depression and...penis size

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The vagina is objectified, separate from the owner. Then, it is loved and worshiped as a separate entity and the owner has nothing to do with it.

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NSFW

http://www.youtube.c...feature=related

But.. this is more expensive than a banana peel and less eco-friendly :(

At least it's better than the one-time-use (unless you are good with cleaning and fine with sloppy seconds) stretchy egg things from dealextreme (Spider, $4)

To the OP, sorry for the topic hijack. Just couldn't help myself.

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In some ways I DO want to reprimand the OP like someone else did, just because I was just trying to help and so were other people. I mean when I read the original post I felt bad for him and did not find his small penis unattractive (what made it seem so was that he kept lamenting after we had tried to help). HOWEVER, I totally get still feeling bad after people try to encourage me. Hell, I do that all the time. I constantly feel like I am "ugly" or "fat" and people tell me I'm not but I'll still find reasons I am

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This sounds more like a self esteem or depression issue. If it wasn't the small penis, it would probably be something else. I've never heard of a woman saying that she found the perfect man but dumped him because his penis was too small.

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This sounds more like a self esteem or depression issue. If it wasn't the small penis, it would probably be something else. I've never heard of a woman saying that she found the perfect man but dumped him because his penis was too small.

My X husband was on the large side (9 inches and wide girth), We were together for 13 years. Sex didn't hurt for me. My current beau has a 6inch penis and is small in girth. My body has made the adjustment. If she's not a porn star and you know how to "work it" on her, she will be fine. When you get into a woman's heart and head, then it's all gravy after that. And if she has a problem with your penis size, then she isn't worth the time. After all, what is SHE bringing to the table? And if you want to get freaky, use a cock ring and a penis extender sold in the adult toy stores. Go all out, and turn her out!

Edited by ginger_flybaby

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I don't like men with penises are that are too big--I want a man, not a horse. Men spend their whole lives wanting a bigger penis but many women don't want a man that is absolutely huge--the sex is usually painful for the woman and not as enjoyable. I've had this discussion often with women over the years. It seems like men never get it though--they still want a bigger one without taking into account that it's painful and uncomfortable for a lot of women.

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Guest Recluse

Sorry, I just saw this thread while wandering around, and OP, you need to know something.

4.5 inches isn't small. It's right on average. Seriously.

Porn isn't an accurate display of what a penis is supposed to look like. It isn't an accurate display of what men or women look like at all...mainstream porn stars are chosen for a homogenous set of sizes and shapes, but that's not what most people look like. The tits are always bigger in porn, the waists always smaller, the cocks always bigger. Porn is to men's perception of their cock size as Cosmo is to women's perception of their bodies.

But that's just porn. That's not people. Your penis is just fine.

Get some help for your depression, and you'll see that.

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I don't mean to resurrect a dead post. I eventually tried suicide a couple times (the last one, I took about 30 vicodin and I couldn't pee for three days, had to be hospitalized for a catheter (my bladder was about to burst). I read back over these comments; I appreciate what a lot of you said, and I apologize for my attitude. I'm on a heavy regimine of atypicals now; feeling a bit better. But I do think a lot of you don't understand what it's like from a guy's perspective. Turn on any TV channel and you'll see women ridiculing men for their size. A friend of mine,who's a girl, once admitted to "laughing" when a guy she was about to hook up with took off his pants and she saw his penis size. I just don't think a lot of people can understand how devastating that is. I realize guys judge women by their bra sizes (and they're pigs for that, make no mistake). But there 's almost nothing as crippling, as far as sexual activity, as having a small penis. I just wanna tell the truth about that. But, the posts I saw I on this thread, gave me hope I'm not doomed-- that maybe there are people out there that don't care (by the way, I'm bisexual for what it's worth, so maybe gay guys will have even less of a problem). I just wish we'd all realize we're human; that there's so many things we can't control, and that's the magic of sexuality anyways-- falling in love with someone for all their imperfections. I find imperfections to be so hot, because they're utterly unique to the  person you're with. But maybe that's just me. Anyways, thanks to all of you with the positive comments. I actually feel a lot better. Thank you.

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But I do think a lot of you don't understand what it's like from a guy's perspective. Turn on any TV channel and you'll see women ridiculing men for their size. A friend of mine,who's a girl, once admitted to "laughing" when a guy she was about to hook up with took off his pants and she saw his penis size. I just don't think a lot of people can understand how devastating that is. I realize guys judge women by their bra sizes (and they're pigs for that, make no mistake). But there 's almost nothing as crippling, as far as sexual activity, as having a small penis. I just wanna tell the truth about that.

[...]

I just wish we'd all realize we're human; that there's so many things we can't control, and that's the magic of sexuality anyways-- falling in love with someone for all their imperfections. I find imperfections to be so hot, because they're utterly unique to the  person you're with. But maybe that's just me. Anyways, thanks to all of you with the positive comments. I actually feel a lot better. Thank you.

 

...  sooo...  you really think you're going to end up dating someone who laughs at your dick?  Seriously? Why the fuck would you WANT to date someone like that?  Hell, why would you want to be FRIENDS with someone who laughs at other people's dicks?

 

I have to take issue with something else I quoted up there.  "Almost nothing as crippling"?!?!?!  Like, say, vulvodynia, that's not as crippling as a small dick.  (FYI, that's vaginal pain so bad many times sexual intercourse is impossible, even masturbation is often problematic.)  Orrrrr...  a history of sexual assault, which might make even intimate wanted sex between a trusted romantic partner impossible to psychologically endure, but no, that's not as crippling as a dick half an inch smaller than average.  Or, I don't know, an actual micropenis, defined as less than 3 inches.  Note:  that's 2.5 standard deviations below the mean, and yours ...  isn't, since the average is 5 inches.  But a micropenis, that's not as crippling!

 

I know you're going to say "but I said almost" and think that means you get away with it.  You don't.  There are a hell of a lot of things worse out there for a dude than having a small dick, and a fuck of a lot of people (I would venture to say MOST, if not NEARLY ALL, certainly everyone I'm friends with) would not fucking MEASURE YOUR DICK or judge your sexual performance based on size.  Hell, if 5 inches is the average, did you ever stop to think that means that 50% of your possible male sexual partners would have a dick just as "tiny" as yours?  (I put tiny in quotes, because your dick isn't tiny, but you think it is.)  Or that a woman, if she'd had, say, 10 sexual partners, would have only a 3.125% chance of NEVER having slept with a guy smaller than 5 inches, and what's basically a coin toss chance that her last partner was just as "tiny" as you?

 

You're fixated on what you THINK your problem is and you're missing the real problems, which are that

a) you still have no self-confidence (you're friends with someone who LAUGHS AT PEOPLE that she was hypothetically going to have sex with!  you take jokes on TV shows to heart!)

 

and b) you also seem to live in some magical world where YOU are smart enough to realize that you love people partially BECAUSE of their imperfections, but "maybe that's just me", thus you are doomed to be forever aloooooone.

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editing because I feel uncomfortable with what I shared. sorry. 

 

TEVA - there are a hell of a lot more things that are sexually "crippling" than a dick that is only slightly smaller than average. 

Edited by Maybell

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I completely agree with SYS and maybell.

The problem is your low self esteem and your deluded thinking that only YOU suffer so extremely from this and no one understands, not men, not women, not even anyone with a dick your size or "heaven forbid" even smaller than your dick size. No one at all can fathom your pain and suffering!!!!

Well women have issues too. And you think it's so easy to get a breast enlargement surgery done and it just solves everything for a woman? Women can be highly sensitive about breast size and their body size/weight. Just as sensitive as a man with a "small" dick. If there were a surgery that would enlarge a mans penis and you were magically nine inches long that would not even begin to solve your problems. It seriously would not. You need therapy to work on this seriously. That is the one and only thing that is going to help you solve this self esteem issue.

Personally I have been sexually assaulted (raped) and yeah, that is a bigger issue sex wise than your "small" dick. I can't even be touched down there without reliving it all.

BUT the good news is, I found a guy with a "small" dick that is most likely shorter than yours. (I don't know how long he is because it never even occurred to me to measure it. Nor would I care to even know exactly how long it is! I don't freaking care!) when you fall in love with someone you feel safe with them and you learn to trust them. My husband is very respectful and knows my boundaries with sex. I'm in love with his "small" dick. I don't feel pain from sex and have to relive every second of my rape. In fact I love him so much I actually enjoy having sex with him "despite" his "small" dick.

I'm not trying to get down on you, just trying to help you realize that you need therapy and that this is a self esteem problem. I hope you also are able to empathize with the fact that women who are flat chested or women who are obese can have just as serious self esteem issues as a man with a supposedly "small" dick. And I hope you realize that even if a flat chested obese woman were to have surgery to enlarge her chest size and have liposuction to reduce her waist size that that would still not fix her true underlying problem of very low self esteem. It's truly not easier for women and more rough for males when it comes to low self esteem issues.

So go out there and find a nice girl who loves you for you, and not your supposedly "small" dick. Trust me, when a woman falls in love with you she could care less about your dick size. She will love you and not just your dick. The world does not revolve round your dick. Seek therapy!

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My boyfriend in college had a penis that was somewhere around 2-3 inches. Best. sex. ever. Why? He took the time to figure out what I liked. Besides, most women can't come from vaginal stimulation alone, so your penis is secondary to the rest of the show, so to speak.

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One of the best lovers I ever had said "It isn't the size of the wand that matters---it's the magic it produces."  I outweighed him by about 40 pounds, was about 4" taller than him and maybe he had a small penis.  I don't remember.  I just remember what a fabulous lover he was.

 

olga

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Penis size is no more important than a woman's breast size.

 

In any case, more important than the physicality is trust, intimacy and caring.  The rest is gravy.

 

Documented in the medical literature decades back is the case of a paralyzed person who was able to reach climax through stimulation of the ear lobe.   It's all in the mind.  The positive and the negative.

 

Stripped to our sock, few of us have model perfect bodies.  A partner who would laugh or belittle you reveals herself to be uncaring and shallow.

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I have somewhat hesitated to say this because it's not entirely my business, but I'll give the barest details and hopefully it won't be too privacy infringing.

 

I had a lover who was very concerned about his size, and was also a virgin.  That was the best sex of my life so far, we were together for quite awhile and I had not one single complaint about him in bed and MANY compliments, and he likely would have always been the best sex I'd ever had had I not found someone who was psychologically a better fit for me in bed.

 

Note that I said psychologically, not physiologically.  The relative dick sizes of the men in question have nothing to do with it.

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TEVA, I can empathize. Unlike you, I did have a hell of a sex drive through high school, but I was very afraid to act on it because I felt inadequate. In fact, it wasn't until I was 22 that I finally did the deed, with a girl started off as my friend for 2 years, and I decided to turn it into a relationship around year 3. So that was likewise an issue of humiliation for me, not only did I feel like the banana didn't hang too far from the tree, but I didn't even have sex until way after high school (and before that thought I'd die a virgin).

 

We weigh in around the same. My wanker is about 5 inches. Yes, I wanted it to be terrifying to behold, not "cute." lol. But guess what man, that girl I mentioned, who I'm engaged to now, is actually pretty small in her downstairs department as well. No offense to the ladies for how outlandishly pig-like this may sound, but could you imagine the half-thrill, half-confusion, full-on mental stimulation I recieved when she walked around sore after sex on occasion? On a more humane and romantic note, I'm trying to say we actually just "fit" very well together. We have fantastic sex. We frequently get off together, which is something I thought I would never do for a woman. A woman's most powerful sexual organ is her brain, contrary to pornographic display and popular belief, and her clitoris has over 8000 nerve endings, so really you're fighting a winning battle. If she's comfortable with you and has feelings for you, you can get her off, no matter how big your junk is.

 

Have no shame, my friend. When I found the right girl and finally did the "big reveal", there was no anxiety, because I'd found a woman who I knew valued me for me. The first time was fantastic, and it's still fantastic. I can comfortably say that even though I perceive myself as having a smaller penis (c'mon, I know it isn't the biggest in the locker room, I'm not going to pretend), I'm actually pretty damn good in the sack. If it works for her, what do I have to worry about?

 

It'll all work out. You'll find a good partner, have good sex, and learn to accept yourself fully. On some random internet forum you've already found 2 guys who are in the same range as you, so that average length thing must have some sort of credibility to it.

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I do agree that a big issue you display here seems to be your own self esteem. But social conditioning and societal expectations are damn tricky things to overcome, for some.

I get the small penis thing. I really do. See, I'm a trans guy, pre-HRT, so I have what you could call a super-ultra-micro penis. Even compared to any partner I've had with sexy bits the same shape as mine, I'm small. And dysmorphia sucks. Majorly.

Now, your particular issue could stem from anxiety, low self esteem, etc. Or, maybe, your brain's map doesn't match up to your body, and you now have a lot of anxiety and low self esteem built up about it. In either case, therapy is good, to help deprogram as much of the societal conditioning as possible, to unlearn this automatic yet untrue correlation between penis size, sexual prowess, and what it means to be a man.

Learning to rethink sex and what that looks like is another huge point. The most important sex organ you have is your brain. There are sex positions that penetrate deeper than others. You have fingers, hands, your tongue, your lips, orifaces of your own, your skin, all of you, a bundle of sensitive nerve endings and sensual pleasures waiting to be discovered at every pressure turn.

Not to scare you, but gay men have their share of size queens, it's true. But queer communities, and kinky communities, often have a wonderfully higher percentage of folks who think about sex outside the box. You don't have to be into whips and chains and leather to explore a kink community, by the way.

Anyway, these are good things to do anyway, IMHO. Your sex life and life in general can be very fulfilling regardless of dick size. The point about average size being about five inches is really important too - our culture seems to ignore this info and claim five inches as a minimum, when it's actually the middle of the bell curve.

Dysmorphia can be tricky, though. Yeah, yeah... I'm transgender. I get a handy label to apply to my issue, and I get to pursue medical treatments. I want to stress how important I think it is to do the work to deprogram societal conditioning about penes, manhood, and sex. But it is not always enough on its own. Testosterone will give me some much-needed length, just to feel comfortable in my own skin, even if only a bit. My internal body map is not for something large, I'd have most of the dysmorphia alleviated with just a couple inches. But maybe I would still be in enough mental anguish to consider surgical options.

My point though is, some trans guys *need* a phalloplasty. Like, yesterday. And some trans guys choose not to get phalloplasties. I'm the latter. The guys in the former group, though, still badly need surgery, just because I don't need it doesn't mean their needs mirror my own.

And so I actually get leery of a lot of the cisgender body-modification-shaming I see. Because I don't think it's so cut and dry. It's a multifaceted, nuanced issue, to be sure. But, perhaps, your dysmorphia could persist even after years of therapy and introspection and hard work. Maybe it was initially sourced in the social expectations you absorbed, or maybe it's multi-sourced. In any case, there are still more tools to add to your kit of coping mechanisms.

These are not replacements or substitutes for the important work above, IMHO. But useful, and even necessary, for some.

There are surgical options for cis (non-trans) men wishing to extend their length. If you have looked into these and rejected them, that is still a choice. The procedures exist, but presumably none yet with a result that would help you. They are helpful to some, however.

Pumps. Yes, they work. No, not drastically, and not quickly. Slow and regular use over a period of months can help to get some increase in size, or straighten out extremely pronounced curves/bends. The gains are measured in centimetres usually, girth is easier than width, and the process cannot be rushed else you risk serious injury. Some trans guys pump, for size increase on its own or as prep for something like metoidioplasty.

There are extensions, prosthetics, strap-ons, etc. Not all require you to lose sensation. I use prosthetics/harnesses, and I'm not even currently sexually active. No, it's not the same as using my flesh and blood penis, but it can help with many things. Masturbation, for one - I can get orgasms much more easily and with far less risk of mood-killing dysmorphia if I have an approximation in place.

None of it is perfect. If dysmorphia still plagues you sometimes, well, just know it won't always intrude as heavily as it sometimes does. Look for the victories of any size, heh, remember how the good days felt when you're mired in the shitty ones, and keep in mind that feeling better is still a victory even if you don't feel *all* better.

I wish you the best.

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By 'measured in centimetres' I mean that gains are usually not enough to bother measuring the increase in inches... it makes sense in my head, really.

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Oh, and for the record:

 

Best lover I ever had was an ex girlfriend - no penis haha.  Her boyfriend is tied for first place, same size as you but really knows how to weild it, plus he is an artist with tongue and fingers.  Close behind them is a friend of a friend, sure he's larger but his prowess in bed had zero to do with his dick.  One of the largest guys I've been with is so hypersensitive he can come at the lightest touch, so he focuses his attention wholly on his partner.  Another guy who was also large, well he had issues getting off at all, but he was and is one of my favourite BDSM partners - really handy with many toys and always respects boundaries.

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