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TEVA833

Depression and...penis size

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Hello, I recognize that this is extremely old, but I'm dealing with similar issues as the OP however, unlike OP I understand that these are irrational fears based on low self-esteem rather than real world concerns. I will not share my size other than saying I'm on the lower end of the average. I'm dealing with the OCD every day and have started therapy to help to manage the symptoms. Dealing with this in therapy is extremely difficult. Simply posting this anonymously is difficult for me. It's a very hard topic to discuss. I do believe that it is helping me rearrange my negative thinking. 

My biggest concern is dating within my social circle. I fear that if I do, then everyone within that group will know everything about me including my size. Clearly, this is a trust issue, but it's probably one of the major concerns which I haven't found a proper way of dealing with yet. 

Like most fears, these are probably unwarranted or greatly exaggerated in my mind, but I'm actually looking for some advice on how to deal with this fear in particular. It probably has to do with dealing with the insecurity and then what people say won't matter, but maybe there are some tips.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks. 

 

 

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you can't change it so it is not worth spending time on it.

Edited by notloki
word left out

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4 hours ago, 1atatime said:

Hello, I recognize that this is extremely old, but I'm dealing with similar issues as the OP however, unlike OP I understand that these are irrational fears based on low self-esteem rather than real world concerns. I will not share my size other than saying I'm on the lower end of the average. I'm dealing with the OCD every day and have started therapy to help to manage the symptoms. Dealing with this in therapy is extremely difficult. Simply posting this anonymously is difficult for me. It's a very hard topic to discuss. I do believe that it is helping me rearrange my negative thinking. 

My biggest concern is dating within my social circle. I fear that if I do, then everyone within that group will know everything about me including my size. Clearly, this is a trust issue, but it's probably one of the major concerns which I haven't found a proper way of dealing with yet. 

Like most fears, these are probably unwarranted or greatly exaggerated in my mind, but I'm actually looking for some advice on how to deal with this fear in particular. It probably has to do with dealing with the insecurity and then what people say won't matter, but maybe there are some tips.

Any advice would be appreciated.

Thanks. 

Are you on any meds for the OCD? I could tell you that penis size doesn't matter, but I think this will still give you a problem until you get the OCD under control. But, really, this is nothing to worry about in the  grand scope of life.

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16 hours ago, jt07 said:

Are you on any meds for the OCD? I could tell you that penis size doesn't matter, but I think this will still give you a problem until you get the OCD under control. But, really, this is nothing to worry about in the  grand scope of life.

Thank you. I'm not on any medications. Yeah I need to get the disease under control. According to my therapist reassurance is actually not helpful and can backfire causing more obsessive thinking. I was put on Escitalopram, but it made my symptoms worse so I stopped. 

I was on a number of different medications and they either didn't work or had side effects that were as bad if not more debilitating than the OCD itself. I wish medications worked. Anyone that has OCD understands its a battle every day and I'm very tired of battling the disease. It is exhausting, but I'm hopeful that I can recover and manage. At least I recognize what is going on now. That is a start. 

Edited by 1atatime

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I used to suffer from debilitating OCD, but a combination of meds and therapy helped me to mostly overcome it. I still get OCD tendencies when under stress, but for the most part it no longer bothers me. I have found that you really do  need the meds to loosen the grip of OCD so that therapy can be effective. Meds are not perfect and won't cure you. It's the combination of meds and therapy that works best.

All meds come with side effects, but you should be able to find one that is more agreeable to you. SSRI's are very effective for OCD in high enough doses.

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On 4/17/2011 at 3:12 AM, TEVA833 said:

A couple things:

 

The major studies put the avg size between 5.5 and 6, with most closer to the 6" mark. While an inch, inch and a half may not seem like much in absolute terms, statistically it's multiple standard deviations away from the average. Meaning: I'm in about the bottom 1-2% for penis size, from what I can gather.

 

To the woman who had a boyfriend that was 5.5: there's a big difference functionally and aesthetically between 5.5 and 4.5.

 

The comparison to women's breast size is a false equivalency: women can get breast implants if they so choose, and even regardless, breast size isn't related to sex in the same way penis size is.

 

While I appreciate the supportive comments, I think anyone would have to concede that such views are an exception, not at all the social norm. Even the way some of them were phrased ("adequate"..."sex not the only thing") betrays the underlying, inescapable truth about having a really small penis.

 

I really just wanted to post this because I think this issue contributes to depression in a way few people can conceive. Few men can admit this to their therapists; it's probably way more common, and underlying a lot more cases of severe depression, than people realize. If you don't suffer from this, you can't know what it's like. I would bet a LOT of money that, if someone did a study of male suicides and penis size, there would be an amazing correlation. If (fingers crossed) I can someday work up the nerve to do it, I'll gladly volunteer to be a subject.

Thing is, you're the one worried about it, not the girl...if it's a big deal to you, then it will shatter your confidence, low confidence would be the bigger issue, not your penis.

The reality is though, like most of the girls here have said, penis size is at the bottom of the list for what girls look for in a guy...

The media and hollywood aren't grounded in reality.   

Guys with smaller members get laid all the time, I mean look at China...

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