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Hi,

I am new here and want to say hello. I have always had problems with low energy, concentration and some depression and sleeping was sometimes a problem, so was relaxing. I have smoked pot since about 18 and loved it. I have been diagnosed with bp a couple years back. Before that I was seeing a pdoc for depression and lack of motivation and energy. At the time I had been using pot and had been taking some pain meds. My pdoc put me on anti depressants and none worked, then we tried ADHD meds and that is when the fun started. I was smoking pot and taking concerta, or one of those meds for adhd, anyway I had been somewhat manic at that time, walking 5 to 6 mikes a day, wanting sex all the time and obsessing on it, at that point I was smoking weed from morning till night almost a once a week. My wife left town for the weekend and when she got back I was convinced she cheated on me even though she was at her sisters with her family and our kids, no way she could have cheated, but I did not see that. I went nuts. I obsessed on it and could not sleep or function. The next day my wife and I fought, I destroyed her new blackberry phone and was aggressive in my actions and speech (I have never hit her and did not that day) and I scared her, so much so that the only way she would stay with me was if I went to the ER for evaluation.

That is when I was introduce to BPD. Since then I have tried Depakote, Serequil, Geodon, Abilify, Lithium, Lexipro and others. I would always have a hard time feeling good. Like I would not be excited about vacation or holidays or anything, so I kept smoking to help me feel good and ironically I felt it gave me energy and a small amount of motivation. This January I did a cleanse diet and stopped smoking for a week and was miserable, depressed, stressed all the typical withdrawal symptoms. I would obsess on smoking weed and could not be comfortable with out it. As soon as I smoked again I feel an inner peace and a feeling of well being (high I guess). From February up till the end of March I was great, eating healthy, exercising, and smoking pot, no meds. Then depression set in, almost over night. Went back to the pdoc because I was not going back to any other meds I have tried. I am now on 150 mg wellbutirn and on 900 mg Trilepital working up to at lease 1200\day, I started the new meds this Tuesday and I felt like something was right in my head. Since then I have smoked maybe a gram or two. I just dont crave it as much as I used to and when I do it I do not get "high". I think the meds keep me from getting as high as I used to. I wonder if the meds block my high or if part of my "high" was a slight pot induced mania that is now blocked. I do not want to smoke pot, I just want to feel normal and I feel like I might finally be heading in the right path.

Has anyone experience a situation like this? Is it drug abuse or BPD that makes me this way? I will find out soon enough because I am quitting and I think the Trileptal is helping me.

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When it comes to substance use, it's hard to tell what is the bigger problem - the mood or the use. And it's tough to say if the BP is causing the use, or if the depression is being caused by the use. I suspect it's a mix for you.

If the Trileptal is working for you as well as not using, it sounds like you're on the right path. If you need support with stopping, there are lots of groups and of course the boards. Welcome :)

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When it comes to substance use, it's hard to tell what is the bigger problem - the mood or the use. And it's tough to say if the BP is causing the use, or if the depression is being caused by the use. I suspect it's a mix for you.

If the Trileptal is working for you as well as not using, it sounds like you're on the right path. If you need support with stopping, there are lots of groups and of course the boards. Welcome :)

Thanks for the reply Rowan. Today is only my 2nd day of not smoking and I dont feel as bad as I did last time I tried to quit. I also did not look for support. Anyway I have always been moody and my moods seem more stable, more positive? I started trileptal .5 days ago with wellbutrin, will trileptal work that fast? I know wellbutrin is not supposed to.

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Hi and welcome to the crazyboards! Yes, it is possible for trileptal to work fast because its older brother carbamazepine worked on me after a day. It might possible help your cravings for weed, but I don't know. I do know that for me carbamazepine gives me a sense of well being. The Wellbutrin make take a while longer for you to feel any benefits however.

I'm sorry for all of your problems. I'm afraid I don't know much about addictions to be of much help. Does your pdoc know about the weed? It's important to talk to him about it.

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Hi and welcome to the crazyboards! Yes, it is possible for trileptal to work fast because its older brother carbamazepine worked on me after a day. It might possible help your cravings for weed, but I don't know. I do know that for me carbamazepine gives me a sense of well being. The Wellbutrin make take a while longer for you to feel any benefits however.

I'm sorry for all of your problems. I'm afraid I don't know much about addictions to be of much help. Does your pdoc know about the weed? It's important to talk to him about it.

Thanks JT for responding. I did tell my pdoc I used but not sure if he realizes how much. It is so nice to have some support, thanks Crazyboards. I may be crazy, but not alone.

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I haven't smoked in 2 days and feel anxiety and overall uncomfortable. I have a weed problem for sure. I am going to an NA meeting tonight. Now I am not sure if I am BP2 or not. Can you be psychosis at times due to prescribed drugs if you are not MI? Like adhd drugs made me that way and I had to go into the hospital. Has this happened to any of you?

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I haven't smoked in 2 days and feel anxiety and overall uncomfortable. I have a weed problem for sure. I am going to an NA meeting tonight. Now I am not sure if I am BP2 or not. Can you be psychosis at times due to prescribed drugs if you are not MI? Like adhd drugs made me that way and I had to go into the hospital. Has this happened to any of you?

I don't know much about links between prescribed drugs and psychosis, so what I say is just from personal experience. A few years ago I was on an antidepressant which I was convinced was making me hallucinate. But for me this continued after I stopped taking the AD. So I don't know if I can make a link or not here.

But isn't weed supposed to increase your risk of developing psychosis if you are already high risk?? This is just what I have heard on the grapevine though. I don't know the ins and outs of all this.

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ADHD is treated using stimulants, which are capable of inducing a psychotic state in non-neuroatypical individuals (though it takes a lot of abusive behaviour). One can imagine the effect it has on a brain that has a predisposition toward mood episodes or psychosis.

I smoked quite a bit of pot (2kg in <2 years) before meds. I felt I could not function without it, which was mostly true. I was put onto an activating medication called Geodon in October, the same month I suspended my pot habit due to my pdoc disagreeing with illicit use as well as personal reasons - the pot muddled my true moods and made it harder to determine whether the meds were working or not. I felt uncomfortable at first, which only got worse. It escalated into extreme irritability, racing thoughts so bad that I could not even tell what I was thinking about at times, endless physical tension, depressive thoughts, and disturbed sleep. I was hospitalized because I was afraid of losing my shit entirely and harming myself or others. The docs pulled me off the geodon and I crashed into depression. They put me on lamotrigine, and I slowly felt better from December to March.

I wanted to get high until January, when I felt good enough on my own. I tried it a few times after I felt stable just like that, and it was not the same, as you said. I started using it more often in February but I did not feel the urge to get high every day, nor do I feel the urge to get AS high because the meds make it more debilitating (tiring). The most I can do is one gram in a week, usually less, which to me is responsible use. It does not particularly affect my stability unless it interferes with sleep, but exercise takes care of that.

The marijuana psychosis thing is commonly used as a deterrent, but so far no one has posted any reliable studies that form a common conclusion (that I am aware of).

Antidepressants can cause mood escalation and thus psychosis in susceptible individuals.

As for "bp causing use or use causing depression" - it is an individual assessment, but according to my skewed logic, before stability, it is a two-way highway. Pot can affect energy and motivation in either direction. It can affect sleep and thus disturb your mood, but it can also temporarily relieve depression due to its euphoriant properties. The problem is determining whether the mood episode is more difficult after you toke up BECAUSE you toked up, or if it is due to the natural progression of your illness. In any case, it is the smarter idea to cease use entirely until your underlying issues are taken care of. Once you are stable, if you don't feel like smoking, great. If you want an occasional toke, know your limits- chances are high that you wont like it anymore anyways. Then again, I am a fan of the "everything in moderation principle" - even with the dreaded opiates. I am sorry that my post is so long and so centred around me, but it is because I relate and wished to share my side of the story.

Whatever you decide to put into your body - even psych meds - you should know your mind, body, and substance.

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ADHD is treated using stimulants, which are capable of inducing a psychotic state in non-neuroatypical individuals (though it takes a lot of abusive behaviour). One can imagine the effect it has on a brain that has a predisposition toward mood episodes or psychosis.

I smoked quite a bit of pot (2kg in <2 years) before meds. I felt I could not function without it, which was mostly true. I was put onto an activating medication called Geodon in October, the same month I suspended my pot habit due to my pdoc disagreeing with illicit use as well as personal reasons - the pot muddled my true moods and made it harder to determine whether the meds were working or not. I felt uncomfortable at first, which only got worse. It escalated into extreme irritability, racing thoughts so bad that I could not even tell what I was thinking about at times, endless physical tension, depressive thoughts, and disturbed sleep. I was hospitalized because I was afraid of losing my shit entirely and harming myself or others. The docs pulled me off the geodon and I crashed into depression. They put me on lamotrigine, and I slowly felt better from December to March.

I wanted to get high until January, when I felt good enough on my own. I tried it a few times after I felt stable just like that, and it was not the same, as you said. I started using it more often in February but I did not feel the urge to get high every day, nor do I feel the urge to get AS high because the meds make it more debilitating (tiring). The most I can do is one gram in a week, usually less, which to me is responsible use. It does not particularly affect my stability unless it interferes with sleep, but exercise takes care of that.

The marijuana psychosis thing is commonly used as a deterrent, but so far no one has posted any reliable studies that form a common conclusion (that I am aware of).

Antidepressants can cause mood escalation and thus psychosis in susceptible individuals.

As for "bp causing use or use causing depression" - it is an individual assessment, but according to my skewed logic, before stability, it is a two-way highway. Pot can affect energy and motivation in either direction. It can affect sleep and thus disturb your mood, but it can also temporarily relieve depression due to its euphoriant properties. The problem is determining whether the mood episode is more difficult after you toke up BECAUSE you toked up, or if it is due to the natural progression of your illness. In any case, it is the smarter idea to cease use entirely until your underlying issues are taken care of. Once you are stable, if you don't feel like smoking, great. If you want an occasional toke, know your limits- chances are high that you wont like it anymore anyways. Then again, I am a fan of the "everything in moderation principle" - even with the dreaded opiates. I am sorry that my post is so long and so centred around me, but it is because I relate and wished to share my side of the story.

Whatever you decide to put into your body - even psych meds - you should know your mind, body, and substance.

Thanks Nibblerd for sharing you experience. Glad to see another Simpson's fan! It sound like you are in a good place now. I did not really abuse my ADHD meds, I would on occasion take a half of ritalin (sp?) in the evening in addition to the morning dose. I dont recall mg of the pills, but it was probably one of there lower dose pills, so I was not on a high dose at all. And like I said never crushed them to snort or any shit like that. I also took a steriod for my gout a while back and that made me manic like. More energy, angry, easily agitated and very unpleasant to be around and at that time I was on lithium. So I guess I will see. My guess is that I am not mentally stable enough and these drug set me off. BTW I have taken a depakote on top of my trilepital to help with my anxiousness and anxiety? I know there are no interactions on the two but am wondering if anyone else takes 2 anti-convolsent meds?

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If anyone reads this far down I want to say that I have not smoked pot for a few days and am feeling better. I went to a NA meeting last night and will continue to go. I am a little conflicted though, I have been feeling huge amounts of anxiety and am going

on a cruise, we leave tomorrow. Knowing we were leaving on a ship in the mental state I am in is scary to me. My doc gave me xanax to help and it seems to. But I do to want to replace one substance with another, in this case I see no choice. I see

conflicting info on how addictive these meds can be. If I take them as prescribed I cant see how I would have a problem getting off of them (.5 twice a day). Anyway if you are thinking of quitting do it now. Pot can be ADDICTIVE (if you smoke daily) and

you can have withdrawal. If you are unstable already (like I was) it can be enough to put you over the edge. I was started on the generic Trileptal and my urge to smoke is gone for now. I am hoping the meds and the NA program will get me though this.

I may have BPII (still not really sure if I do) but I defiantly have a weed problem. I feel better when I type this out. Thanks for letting me do this here.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Ok, I'm gonna be a bit mean but I've lived through a lot of this shit too.

-Yes, I have Bipolar II Disorder too.

-I also have ADD (Sometimes they call it ADHD inattentive type).

-I used to smoke weed regularly.

-I'm 21 years old and have had problems with alcohol.

So, yeah, I used to mix weed and Concerta or Concerta and alcohol. But that's not the point.

The point is that you're never going to get any better unless you quit everything. And no, it's not easy at all, but it's been 4 months since I drank alcohol and 5 months since I smoked cigarettes or weed. Every day is hard but overall I feel A LOT better.

So if you really want to help yourself and your family, you really need to get help for the substance abuse.

Hi,

I am new here and want to say hello. I have always had problems with low energy, concentration and some depression and sleeping was sometimes a problem, so was relaxing. I have smoked pot since about 18 and loved it. I have been diagnosed with bp a couple years back. Before that I was seeing a pdoc for depression and lack of motivation and energy. At the time I had been using pot and had been taking some pain meds. My pdoc put me on anti depressants and none worked, then we tried ADHD meds and that is when the fun started. I was smoking pot and taking concerta, or one of those meds for adhd, anyway I had been somewhat manic at that time, walking 5 to 6 mikes a day, wanting sex all the time and obsessing on it, at that point I was smoking weed from morning till night almost a once a week. My wife left town for the weekend and when she got back I was convinced she cheated on me even though she was at her sisters with her family and our kids, no way she could have cheated, but I did not see that. I went nuts. I obsessed on it and could not sleep or function. The next day my wife and I fought, I destroyed her new blackberry phone and was aggressive in my actions and speech (I have never hit her and did not that day) and I scared her, so much so that the only way she would stay with me was if I went to the ER for evaluation.

That is when I was introduce to BPD. Since then I have tried Depakote, Serequil, Geodon, Abilify, Lithium, Lexipro and others. I would always have a hard time feeling good. Like I would not be excited about vacation or holidays or anything, so I kept smoking to help me feel good and ironically I felt it gave me energy and a small amount of motivation. This January I did a cleanse diet and stopped smoking for a week and was miserable, depressed, stressed all the typical withdrawal symptoms. I would obsess on smoking weed and could not be comfortable with out it. As soon as I smoked again I feel an inner peace and a feeling of well being (high I guess). From February up till the end of March I was great, eating healthy, exercising, and smoking pot, no meds. Then depression set in, almost over night. Went back to the pdoc because I was not going back to any other meds I have tried. I am now on 150 mg wellbutirn and on 900 mg Trilepital working up to at lease 1200\day, I started the new meds this Tuesday and I felt like something was right in my head. Since then I have smoked maybe a gram or two. I just dont crave it as much as I used to and when I do it I do not get "high". I think the meds keep me from getting as high as I used to. I wonder if the meds block my high or if part of my "high" was a slight pot induced mania that is now blocked. I do not want to smoke pot, I just want to feel normal and I feel like I might finally be heading in the right path.

Has anyone experience a situation like this? Is it drug abuse or BPD that makes me this way? I will find out soon enough because I am quitting and I think the Trileptal is helping me.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I am happy to post that things are much better now that it has been 5 weeks since I've smoked. I am taking 1800mg of oxcarbazepine and xanax, no more Wellbutrin as it increased anxiety, anger and fear. This is the best I have felt in years, although I think I would like to eventually drop the xanax and get a non benzo to help with anxiety. However the xanax seems to put me in a better mood so I'm not sure what to do. I take anywhere from .5mg to 1.5mg per day.

I've smoked a long time and tried to quit many times and have never been able to kick it. This time is different, I do not have racing or obsessive thoughts, I can concentrate much better especially in conversations, my moods are much more manageable and I sleep easily. I am sure I have BP to some degree and am better on this medicine. I just have these feelings of guilt for some reason that peak at times, maybe that has to do with where I am at in my personal life and I feel guilty because I should maybe have done better with my career and because I am not working now doesn't help I'm sure.

Anyway, I am sure the oxcarbazepine and xanax have helped me so, so much. I am convinced I would not have made it this long not smoking without the medication. I never even think about smoking which is so different for me because It used to dominate my thoughts when I wasn't smoking or wasn't high.

I wanted to update this thread because I am much happier now. Maybe someone is going though something similar and might find this useful. And thank you to CB!

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I'm glad you are doing and feeling better.

Don't worry too much about the benzo for now. You are way better off on a benzo, where you will at least know the manufacturer and that it's a controlled dosage and substance, rather than buying random weed or whatnot.

Coming off benzos can be a little uncomfortable for some if at really high dosages or abusing the medications, neither of which sounds true in your case.

If you deal with chronic anxiety I'd advise seeing a therapist also to learn coping skills and ways to manage that; you may get to a point where you don't need a med for anxiety at all. If you do, there are several non benzo options specifically to treat anxiety, so you have plenty of options.

That being said, given that you've only recently stopped using, and MJ lingers around in the body for quite some time, I wouldn't go jacking with a med regimen that is working anytime soon. Give yourself a good six months to get some nice sobriety and coping skills under your belt.

Good job! From your posts, you certainly sound like you may have BP II, and based on your response to medications, that's another positive sign. It's common for people to self treat mood dx with illegal substances.

Anna

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Thanks for the suggestions Anna. I do need to develop some coping skills and I need to chill out and not worry so much about my meds. I did some searches online today to get started on positive thinking.

Today was not a good day, very tense and anxious all day so far. My kids are 4 and 6 y.o. and were driving me crazy. They are very good kids. Today they asked constant questions and I got to the point were I was not listening just saying yes to everything and continually felt anxious and angry. They were just general questions about the world around them, you know kids, curios little people. I was in a bad mood all day, funny in a way since I just posted how good things were going a day ago.

It's like every morning is stressful and my moods are worse in the morning. The evening they start to improve and by night time I feel very good, which is when I post most often, so I guess that is why I am positive then. I have to start a blood pressure med soon, which I have questions about (I hope it helps with my headaches) and need a refill on my oxcarbazepine by Thursday morning and cannot get through to my pdoc still. I am really getting upset about that. I never call him for anything except for once last month and last week over a period of two years, so it is not like I am a pest. It is hard to switch Dr's because of the long wait to get in to see a new one. Besides I am afriad he might not refill my oxcarb. if I want to switch Dr's. I may not get in touch with him by then anyway so I am not sure if my GP will write one for me to get me through till I see a new pdoc.

I admit that today I had a fleeting urge to smoke again, but I know that is taking two steps backward so it is not an option. My wife would KILL me anyway. Tomorrow is a new day. Thanks Anna and anyone else for listening.

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