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hey everyone :) I am new here and as a sign of how technologically challenged I am my first post did not work because the internet disconnected *sigh* so here is attempt number two haha

so I have been having a constant stream of music playing through my head as I am trying to fall asleep. it is not just one song but its almost as if my ipod was on shuffle playing songs I heard throught the day or songs I like. it has been so frustrating. its funny because it happens as I am just about to fall asleep. normally with my sleeping issues I just have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep but with this I will almost be asleep then all of a sudden this song will just start playing. or I will wakeup in the middle of the night humming a song. it would be funny if it wasnt making me so angry. I just want to sleep!

sometimes the only way to help is by listening to my ipod to replace the songs in my head and to make my brain work less hard to remember the tune and the words. I try to listen to soft music with subtle words or no words at all.I put the sleep timer on but its kindof depressing because when it goes off after 30 minutes then I know I have been awake for another 1/2 an hour. so I try to put it on an hour or even an hour and a half because normally I sortof fall half asleep by the time it gets to that point but then I find myself waking up for certain songs. they are not louder than the others but my mind just kindof says 'oh I like this song!' but it does that anyways wether I am listening to music or not. its crazy!!!

I was on spring break so it was okay that I was up until 3-5 in teh morning because I could sleep in until 11. however now I am back in school and I have ot get up at 6!!! that is normally way too early anyways but this morning I practically flipped. I was just so emotionally dramatic haha I dont do well on 3 hours of sleep that really didnt feel like sleep at all.

does anybody else have this issue? I really need some help. I dont know how I can survive with this if it continues for much longer. haha I sound like I am being overdramatic but since this is being posted under the sleeping issues forum I know that you will understand how sleep(or the lack of) affects the mind

additional facts: I also have a mood disorder NOS... (they almost want to call it bipolar II but it doesnt quite fit) so this really wreks havoc on my emotions. I am on lamictal and have been for almost a year so I am pretty sure it isnt causing this. I have not changed the time of day I take it or the dosage.

thankyou so much for reading this :)

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Hey annabelle

I am not diagnosing your mood disorder, but if they think that it could be bipolar disorder2, you must be having a hypomanic episode. When you are hypomanic you have lots of energy...even when you are dead tired you cant sleep and your mind is active ..you think out ideas, have racing thoughts and songs/music play in your mind. Then when u sleep for 3 hours or less, your brain starts to give up then the maniabecomes dysphoric ie opposite of euphoric.

Talk to your doctor to give you a medicine that'll stop your mind from racing and put you to sleep. I take risperidone 2mg for that problem.

What are the other symptoms you show?

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Hey annabelle

I am not diagnosing your mood disorder, but if they think that it could be bipolar disorder2, you must be having a hypomanic episode. When you are hypomanic you have lots of energy...even when you are dead tired you cant sleep and your mind is active ..you think out ideas, have racing thoughts and songs/music play in your mind. Then when u sleep for 3 hours or less, your brain starts to give up then the maniabecomes dysphoric ie opposite of euphoric.

Talk to your doctor to give you a medicine that'll stop your mind from racing and put you to sleep. I take risperidone 2mg for that problem.

What are the other symptoms you show?

I think it is bipolar type 2 as well. my hypomanic symptoms dont last as long as the standard is set for. I didnt think of it as a hypomanic episode but I definitely see it now. I was all over the place today haha. I still am kindof. not as bad as it used ot be before my medication but it is interesting. thanks for pointing that out! I havae not heard of dsyphoric episodes so I will go look into that more.

I am not sure what other symptoms you mean? as far as sleeping? or just my mood disorder in general?

thanks for replying by the way :)

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Hearing music in your head is quite normal, most people experience it but it is still really annoying.

yes I understand that haha that happens to me a lot but this is somehow different.... it is really hard to explain. it is not just one song that is stuck in my head and is just kindof there but it is almost yelling at me dominating all of my other thoughts other than "UGHHHH!! I want to sleeepppp". I just think its rather weird to wakeup singing a song. :P

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Hey anabelle. I hope you are well smile.gif

I have written a book on bipolar disorder. This is just a part of it. I am sharing it with you so that you understand how bipolar disorder happens- in brief."Mania and depression are the two extreme mood states ofBipolar disorder. You can observe that when you are depressed, you avoid allthose things that you usually enjoy/like doing but when you are manic, you doall those things that you would never or dread to do normally.

When you are depressed, you are very sad and hurt butclueless as to why. So you start FINDING REASONS for your depression. Normally,you get a feeling after you experience or act but here you already havefeelings of depression without something actually happening. So you open upyour closet of past experiences, when you felt sad, hurt or guilty and youattribute them to be the reason(s) for your depression. Depression is progressive. All the symptoms don’t appearat once.

Itstarts with feelings of guilt and hurt and progresses into all the othersymptoms that appear because of the choices you make when depressed like socialwithdrawal, self-consciousness, procrastination and pessimism."

"Mania, in the beginning is euphoric. It makes you feel onthe top and that you can do anything you want to. You become an extremeoptimist and your judgment impairs because of it. You think highly of yourself.

You think that life is beautiful with nothing wrong andthat you will lead a luxurious one. You think that you will help the poor,needy, orphans and the physically/mentally challenged. You think about givinghuge charities. You socialize a lot. You meet a lot of people and forget mostof the conversation. You multi-task and get things half done or not done atall. You get exhausted. You are so tired but you can’t sleep as you think of somany wonderful things that you want/have to do and you have racing thoughts,some creative, some grandiose but unrealistic. You still feel lots of energywithin you. It seems contradictory though.

Your brain and body need to relax but you hardly sleep.Then, the brain starts giving up. This is the point where the mania becomesdysphoric. You get frustrated, irritable, angry and aggressive even rageful.You are very tired but you can’t sleep as you have racing thoughts of pessimismand suicide. You snap at people. You say rude/mean things to people. You hurtpeople. You don’t do it intentionally. There’s so much anger within you thatyou don’t understand and any small irritation makes you over-react and lash outyour anger.

Then people start avoiding you. You are unable toconcentrate. Your work piles up and you get anxious. You feel guilty of hurtingpeople. Finally you are out of balance. You start to feel lonely and you stepinto the other phase of Bipolar disorder i.e. Depression.All in all, mania starts constructive but ends updestructive due to poor judgment, lack of inhibition, poor time-management andexhaustion."

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Hey annabelle.

I think that you are experiencing "racing thoughts". Racing thoughts need not necessarily be "thoughts" , they could be music as well. An anti-psychotic helps control racing thoughts. Ask your doctor about racing thoughts and explain what you are going thru.

By symptoms I meant what are the other things you are experiencing other than the music in your head.

Hearing music in your head is quite normal, most people experience it but it is still really annoying.

yes I understand that haha that happens to me a lot but this is somehow different.... it is really hard to explain. it is not just one song that is stuck in my head and is just kindof there but it is almost yelling at me dominating all of my other thoughts other than "UGHHHH!! I want to sleeepppp". I just think its rather weird to wakeup singing a song. :P

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ugh it just deleted everything I typed.... my internet is awful and it kept telling me the number of quote tags didnt match up..... I am so frustrated.... I am not doing too well and its just making me so angry. okay I tried agian and again and it wont let me add your quote so I have to just reply to you seperately

so here is some information I found from all different sites. I do not know how accurate they are because you never know what you find on the internet:

The main difference between cyclothymia and Bipolar I is in the severity of mania, and the difference between cyclothymia and bipolar II in the severity of depressive symptoms.

The symptoms for a bipolar disorder are more pronounced in patients and occur for a longer period of time. Typically, it is estimated to be a bipolar disorder if the patient continues to show these symptoms or if these episodes worsen over a period of 2 years

Bipolar 2 is diagnosed if the patient has symptoms that do not meet criteria for mania, but meet criteria for an episode of hypomania and major depression in the past. Cyclothymia is diagnosed if the patient has had 2 years of alternating hypomania and some depressive symptoms without meeting criteria for a major depressive episode

If a major Depressive, Manic, or Mixed Episode occurs during the course of an established Cyclothymic Disorder, the Diagnosis of either Bipolar I Disorder (fvor a Manic or Mixed Episode) or Bipolar II Disorder (for a Major Depressive Episode) is given along with the diagnosis of Cyclothymic Disorder.

bipolar NOS An additional example was added to clarify that individuals with chronic dysthymia who also experience occasional hypomanic episodes do not qualify for a diagnosis of either Dysthymic Disorder (because of the hypomanic episodes) or Cyclothymic Disorder (because the hypomanic episodes are too infrequent).

so I found this all really useful. I think I may have had a few major depressive episodes but I cannot tell. I have defintiely been really really down before and I looked on the DSM and I seemed to fit the right criteria for that but I do not know.... I really feel I have though haha I keep swtiching back adn forth I will decide.... I have had multiple major depressive episodes. :P

the bipolar NOS really struck me as accurate because my therapist actually said that I have way more depressive episodes than I do hypomanic. so it makes sense. ugh wow this took me an hour to post because I had to re find all of the infromation *sigh*

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Hey anabelle. I hope you are well smile.gif

I have written a book on bipolar disorder. This is just a part of it. I am sharing it with you so that you understand how bipolar disorder happens- in brief."Mania and depression are the two extreme mood states ofBipolar disorder. You can observe that when you are depressed, you avoid allthose things that you usually enjoy/like doing but when you are manic, you doall those things that you would never or dread to do normally.

When you are depressed, you are very sad and hurt butclueless as to why. So you start FINDING REASONS for your depression. Normally,you get a feeling after you experience or act but here you already havefeelings of depression without something actually happening. So you open upyour closet of past experiences, when you felt sad, hurt or guilty and youattribute them to be the reason(s) for your depression. Depression is progressive. All the symptoms don’t appearat once.

Itstarts with feelings of guilt and hurt and progresses into all the othersymptoms that appear because of the choices you make when depressed like socialwithdrawal, self-consciousness, procrastination and pessimism."

"Mania, in the beginning is euphoric. It makes you feel onthe top and that you can do anything you want to. You become an extremeoptimist and your judgment impairs because of it. You think highly of yourself.

You think that life is beautiful with nothing wrong andthat you will lead a luxurious one. You think that you will help the poor,needy, orphans and the physically/mentally challenged. You think about givinghuge charities. You socialize a lot. You meet a lot of people and forget mostof the conversation. You multi-task and get things half done or not done atall. You get exhausted. You are so tired but you can’t sleep as you think of somany wonderful things that you want/have to do and you have racing thoughts,some creative, some grandiose but unrealistic. You still feel lots of energywithin you. It seems contradictory though.

Your brain and body need to relax but you hardly sleep.Then, the brain starts giving up. This is the point where the mania becomesdysphoric. You get frustrated, irritable, angry and aggressive even rageful.You are very tired but you can’t sleep as you have racing thoughts of pessimismand suicide. You snap at people. You say rude/mean things to people. You hurtpeople. You don’t do it intentionally. There’s so much anger within you thatyou don’t understand and any small irritation makes you over-react and lash outyour anger.

Then people start avoiding you. You are unable toconcentrate. Your work piles up and you get anxious. You feel guilty of hurtingpeople. Finally you are out of balance. You start to feel lonely and you stepinto the other phase of Bipolar disorder i.e. Depression.All in all, mania starts constructive but ends updestructive due to poor judgment, lack of inhibition, poor time-management andexhaustion."

I relate to almost everything you said!!! the onlything is I only get hypomanic I think.... well here is where things get tricky. I can be hypomanic for about a week but it switches from really really hypomanic to slightly hypomanic where I realize I am being hypomanic and and able to shut things off. I cannot control my thoughts at all but I can switch and internalize them all instead of talking 100 mph and acting crazy. I just kindof shut down and it all becomes inside my head. I cannot focus at all on whats going around me and if someone asks me a question or I have to speak I go back to showing my rapid thoughts but if I really really really want to I can just put it all inside. it is interesting and I dont know if that is a hypomanic trait at all. I do know I for sure dont have ADHD so I can rule that out. but like I said my hypomanic levels change and I do not get so manic that I cannot get by in society without them thinking I am just having a super fantastic day. I get weird looks and I have had moments where my friends get kindof freaked out but that is when it is at its worst. when it si like that it only lasts about one day. it then goes to where they think I am having a really good day but I am still within 'social rules'. I dont get super delusional to the point whre I beleive that I personally can change teh world but I do get super social. I was just on spring break and I hung out with someone or a group of people almost everday. and normally I am more on the depressed side and dont want to have anything to do with people haha. im good at faking it at school and everything but when I am down I prefer to just lock myself in my room and dont want to bother to make the effort into faking it over the weekend. I can only take so much when I am in a depressed mood. I fit EVERYTHING you said about the depressed part. I was depressed for a long long long time before I started showing clear signs of hypomania. I can trace signs of mild depression all teh way back to 2nd grade and then I actually realized something was wrong about 5th grade and then by 6th grade was in denial again and ignored it until middle school it started showing up again and was worse. I also started getting mood swings that were noticeable but I thought it was just hormones. by sophomore year they were totally clear. up until then the depression ones dominated therefore I thought I was just having a good day or week on the days that I was hypomanic. I was finally realizing that there was something really wrong. I flipped out in anger on my family often starting in middle school actually so those were the only clear (looking back) signs of hypomania but the rage part of it. but anyways I was finally diagnosed at teh end of my junior year because I kept trying over and over again starting the beginning of that year for my mom to bring me in. haha I had already been researching and thought I knew my diagnosis. my fmaily had a ton of issues that year and I started self harming so my mom finally brought me in. now I am a senior and have been on lamictal since the end of last year.... haha so that is my life story :P

I guess that tells you most of my symptoms but I will try to list them in bullet form :

  • rage
  • become extremely social
  • talking at a rapid pace and saying things that make sense to me but not to anybody else.... I will think things are connected and not explain the bridge to people so they will be totally confused as to where that subject came from
  • racing thoughts
  • needing less sleep then needing it but unable to get it
  • attention/concentration issues
  • becoming super inspired by something and will spend hours focusing on that one thing ex. I like reading and writing and I got this idea that I wanted to write a short story or something and I just found myself wrting something crazy and in the middle of it within 5 minutes my mood switched and I re-read what I wrote and it was full of scattered thoughts
  • I will obsess over something for hours: I wanted ot buy all of these songs off of itunes but I wanted to be sure I liked the songs so I spent 7 hours looking the songs up on youtube and adding them all to a playlist. I went back a few days later and found I didnt like any of them...
  • also when I am depressed I either sleep a ton or hardly at all
  • hopelessness to the point of obsessing over suicidal thoughts
  • feeling like my movements themselves are slow and I dont want to move at all
  • I kindof do this thing where I sortof disconnect from things. I feel like I am not exactly 'in my body' ex: I will see my hands typing this message but I feel like I am observing instead of the fatc that they are actually my hands.
  • feel so depressed that I become 'numb'
  • eat a ton of sweets when I am depressed

I feel really 'naked' right now saying all of that but in that way you will be able to understand me more... those are all I could think of. I am sure if you listed a bunch of things I would be able to check off which ones applied to me. thinking off the top of my head is difficult. haha.

anyways I hope that clears things up for you

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