BlueSpottedTail Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 I'm 20, male, live in a smallish hipster town in Texas. I like drugs, especially pot, opiates, and acid. I hear things. I hear laughter, my name being called, knocking, footsteps following me, and occasionally a scream or two. I don't know why I hear these things, but I do. This obviously makes me a very paranoid person, and changes my personality drastically. I love socializing, but I am an introvert by nature, and these problems only further complicate that. I also have massive and very deep rooted self-confidence problems, even though I know I'm an attractive guy with plenty of friends. When people are talking and I can't hear what they're saying, it' automatically negative things about me. If I walk past strangers laughing, I assume they're laughing at me. I hear people laughing at me even when nobody is there. I have contemplated suicide before, but it's not something I could ever actually do. But I have spent a good deal of time thinking about it. I also have very strong impulses to do extreme physical harm to myself. I'll be driving my car, and I'll think of a time I tripped in front of a group of people years ago, and have the impulse to drive off the bridge. I realize normal people don't remember things like that, much less care about them. I'm pretty sure that Its my fate to live a doomed existence. I feel like I am losing my mind every day, and have nobody to talk about this to. And that's me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mynameisiforgot Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Hello. You know the drug use could also explain the hearing things. I'm no doctor, but if it worries you i'd check out a psych if you can. Welcome to CB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Welcome to CrazyBoards! We are a community of mentally ill people who are trying to get our illnesses somewhat under control. What you are doing with pot, acid and opiates comes under the heading of self-medication. It's a slippery slope and I can almost guarantee you that this method of treatment is not successful when the patient has MI issues. If you want to feel better about yourself, get in to see a psychiatrist, be honest about your drug use, and you might also consider therapy. I'm glad you posted here and I hope you take the next step and seek treatment. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jt07 Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Welcome to crazyboards! I have to agree with the others and say lay off the drugs because they can cause many of the symptoms you are experiencing. You will probably need help if you want to quit, so it would not be a bad idea to see a psychiatrist and a drug counselor. I think we have a forum for addiction problems here. So please make yourself at home. We look forward to hearing more from you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Emperor Posted April 22, 2011 Share Posted April 22, 2011 Hi and welcome to CB. Yes, drugs are bad, I'm assuming you already knew that, especially for someone with MI, so it would probably be in your best interest to stop doing them. I always think when I walk past people and can't hear what they're saying that they're talking about me as well, and the laughing thing, I always think they're laughing at me too. So I can relate to that bit. Well, I hope you like it here! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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