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Trying to nail down the FUCKING memory loss issue I'm having now that's impacting my job. Somewhere back in the day I remember (or not, under the circumstances) someone mentioned soemthing about Lamictal and memory loss. It's not in the official lit. so I dunno if I'm just fucking losing my fucking mind or what. All I know is I've now twice missed mandatory trainings that have now put my license recert & renewal into jeopardy. I'm forgetting shit all the damned time, even though I set 2-3 alarms on phones, my fucking iPad, my computer, and stick post it fucking notes every fucking where. I can't fucking take the forgetting shit. It's maddening.. hell, it's making me fucking psycho! On the field it's affecting me so far only in remembering players' names and coach names. I write them into my black book so I can refer to things but twice now I've thought the captain was #5 or 23 (don't ask me where the fuck I go these two #s from) and it wasn't. If they have the captn's armbands obviously I don't fuck up, but some teams don't have them. I haven't forgotten within the span of a match things that happen, which is vital for reporting post-match (required if there's misconduct or sendoffs). BUt frankly, I'm getting scared shitless this is going to happen to me in a game. The last month I cannot remember the day's events prior to the match(s). Its fucking freaking me out. And it doesn't help I have a mate who is fucking merciless about my "shortcomings" of late. I think humans weren't made to be monogamous past ten years. 21 years seems to be really fuckign pushing it.. especially when I keep forgetting important shit. I have a fucking tourney check to pick up and I've missed doing that twice because of this crap.

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