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SUEzie

Time-line to stabilize after a crisis?

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suzie, first of all, why are you editing like, every single post?

I'll also add that I've seen some of the UNedited versons, and I would advise you to just.... detach from this situation a bit. you seem bitter, hostile, and like everyone is out to get you, just because it is being pointed out that you are trying to use this forum in a way it's not intended, and is set in the RULES. We do not offer 3rd party advice. You agreed to this when you signed up.

if you don't settle your ass down and get a grip on yourself, you'll earn another suspsension (from me) because right now you are breaking another rule, which is being more of an asshole than one of our moderators. and i'm sick of it. Can the fucking drama and get a grip on yourself.

Anna

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suzie, first of all, why are you editing like, every single post?

I'll also add that I've seen some of the UNedited versons, and I would advise you to just.... detach from this situation a bit. you seem bitter, hostile, and like everyone is out to get you, just because it is being pointed out that you are trying to use this forum in a way it's not intended, and is set in the RULES. We do not offer 3rd party advice. You agreed to this when you signed up.

if you don't settle your ass down and get a grip on yourself, you'll earn another suspsension (from me) because right now you are breaking another rule, which is being more of an asshole than one of our moderators. and i'm sick of it. Can the fucking drama and get a grip on yourself.

Anna

I am done with this thread. I am done asking questions. It's futile.

-suzie

Edited by suzie

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Good. you have been given good advice to find a board to vent your feelings w/r/t to friends and family issues, and I suggest you USE that good advice.

Anna

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I want a general idea. It's an intellectual pursuit, not a judgmental one.

.Maybe, with your own illness to deal with, you're not the person to be dealing with her crisis day after day.

That makes for some serious thinking. I'm a helping, caring person by nature and profession, but I know as a MI person all too well the pitfalls of over~involving myself in someone else's issues and wanting to "fix", "diagnose", and "control" their recovery course. It's awesome that you care for your friend, just don't take on more than you can handle.

Editing to add in....I don't mean involving myself with mental health issues, I just meant life issues in general. I'm too mentally fragile to even begin down that path (which is why I don't think I could work in pysche).

Edited by ginger_flybaby

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Re: Hospitals.Since I was hospitalized in the late 1970's (when they hospitlaized people for much less severe illness than they do now, that's a leap to make to conclude. It also isn't true.

You've been diagnosed with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder yourself along with the current MDD and severe OCD diagnoses you have now. It doesn't sound like you have "less severe" illness. I'm not really sure what the last part of this quote means. What isn't true?

Someone w/OCD or MDD auto-understands someone w/BP; Why? Well - just because "they should know." I have completely unrelated illnesses byt I should know about BP treatment - because " I just should."

No, but you should understand from your experience that expecting someone to recover on some timeline is ridiculous, and getting angry at them for not doing so is pretty crappy. I'm not angry. I'm worn out. If i didn't care about this person I wouldn't even be asking for advice. Hell - I know nothing about BP. Yeah, I took Depakote for a year (and Lithium), but that doesn't mean squat. I never got a very clear explanation why, and wasn't hospitalized for it. I've never had mania.

If I knew answers like this, I would not be here at all. Most of the time I read here, or ask questions, it's because I don't know something. IMO, you can have years and years of MI experience - if you were in mostly shitty hospitals, with crappy doctors, and mis-diagnosed time and again; it doesn't necessarily follow that you really have any handle on anything - especially if you're only 18-20 years old when it happens - I didn't ask any questions - I was too damn scared to do it, back then. Except whatever your real diagnosis is when you do get one, and have a good doctor along with it, maybe you ask more. That's my perspective. No disrespect intended. This was a big misunderstanding.

There is also other stuff going on. Besides worrying about the person in question I just found out the volunteer organization I've been working for for 3 years has a head honcho who is stealing funds. And I don't know what to do about that, either. I really can't do anything; as I am an organizational peon there - but I can quit (and am seriously considering it.). There are 2 ir 3 situations it seems I am in, where I keep trying to find answers, and their just aren't any.

Maybe I am weirding out, I don't know. But I DO care what happens to my friend. Let there be no mistake about that. Sure she sometimes can be a pain. But she hasn't got anybody else. I am not wakling away from her - even IF she's a pain. And right now if she is a pain - it's not her fault.

I don't think anyone is taking umbrage at you not knowing how bipolar psychosis works, but at your really poor attitude. Maybe need a support group for all of this. Probably didn't phrase the question well. I wondered if there was a reason why she wasn't showing progress, when before, in similar situations she had. I wasn't insisting she do that - no matter how it sounded. I'm plain worried about her. Last time, her Zyprexa worked in a matter of days. Really. Her doctor is apparently incommunicado, because he doesn't call me back.

I already know I don't control her 'Get well time-line'. I asked if I should expect one. If was on the MDD board, it would be different. I don't know much about how people in the throes of mania get well, or stay sick, or get sicker, or any of that. I really don't. I don't have it - don't think I ever did (regardless of any "diagnosis" I had ) - and haven't read much about it. All I know is whatever BP people write here, really, on the BP board.

And, you know, none of this may be your fault. It's really hard when you're ill to care for someone who is also seriously ill. Just taking into account your behavior here over the past 5 days or so, you're in no position to try to care for someone else-- you seem very labile, sensitive, paranoid and irritable. Maybe you need to let others care for your friend. Sorry. I sort of missed this part. You were tying to help. I appreciate that.

It's obvious to me I need to take a nap and get away from thinking about all of this _hit that's happening. I have no idea how this will all end up. But I don't control that, I guess. Sorry if I sounded angry. It guarantee it was not personal - no matter how it may have sounded. That goes for everyone who answered. Thanks for tyring to help.

- suzie

Edited by suzie

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Suzie, you should check out NAMI. It is national, a great web site, and lots of support groups all over the country. I think it is www.nami.org. And Dianthus and Anna have given you some solid advice. Detach a bit from this situation. When I get over involved with the 'crazy' of friends it can start to destabilize me. Give yourself a little break.

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Suzie, you should check out NAMI. It is national, a great web site, and lots of support groups all over the country. I think it is www.nami.org. And Dianthus and Anna have given you some solid advice. Detach a bit from this situation. When I get over involved with the 'crazy' of friends it can start to destabilize me. Give yourself a little break.

I think there's a NAMI chapter in my town. They might know some BP stuff I want (and need) to know. I may call them today. Thanks for the link. Nice to have, and I appreciate the thought..

I've heard they give answers RE: Lots of BP questions- especially to non-BP people. Also about any MI they know about. Also as a potential support site, I know some people think they're really a Godsend. I''ll check it out. - suzie

Edited by suzie

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okay..... I am getting a little frustrated with reading all of this.... to me suzie just sounds concerned for her friend and gathering information so she can determine what is best for her friend. not 'playing doctor/god' or 'being impatient'. it is simply something that people do when they are worried. when someone I know is sick wether mentally or physically I get information and intellectualize as a defense mechanism of my worry. ex. my brother got mono... he had it really bad and wasnt eating for a while because he could barely swallow water his tonsils were so swollen etc. I wasnt looking up information to tell him to get over it so he could drive me places haha I was looking up how long it would last because I cared.sometimes it is best to take things day by day so making a timeline (even if it is unrealistic) can help with the stress

I think that the internet is a fantastic resource however there is a bit of a barrier when involving communication. reading over these posts it seems to me there were a lot of misunderstandings. there could also be one with this message. I am not angry just I am just trying to clear things up. I am slightly frustrated at miscomminication but nobody in specific so please do not be offended by this message :P haha it seems everything I am saying could be taken offensively.

anyways I would love it if you could give us an update on how your friend is doing within the next few weeks. :)

hopefully things are improving

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okay..... I am getting a little frustrated with reading all of this.... to me suzie just sounds concerned for her friend and gathering information so she can determine what is best for her friend. not 'playing doctor/god' or 'being impatient'. it is simply something that people do when they are worried. when someone I know is sick wether mentally or physically I get information and intellectualize as a defense mechanism of my worry. ex. my brother got mono... he had it really bad and wasnt eating for a while because he could barely swallow water his tonsils were so swollen etc. I wasnt looking up information to tell him to get over it so he could drive me places haha I was looking up how long it would last because I cared.sometimes it is best to take things day by day so making a timeline (even if it is unrealistic) can help with the stress

I think that the internet is a fantastic resource however there is a bit of a barrier when involving communication. reading over these posts it seems to me there were a lot of misunderstandings. there could also be one with this message. I am not angry just I am just trying to clear things up. I am slightly frustrated at miscomminication but nobody in specific so please do not be offended by this message :P haha it seems everything I am saying could be taken offensively.

There is a massive difference between a physical condition causing an illness and a mental condition - it affects so much of your personality and your interactions with people. I sincerely hope you don't equate your brother's swollen tonsils to a psychological breakdown. There are generally specific medications/remedies your can do for physical ailments, so it was logical for you to ask for ways to make things better. But that is not the case with a psycholigical disorder. There is no right answer, no shortcut, no proper way to deal with it.

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okay..... I am getting a little frustrated with reading all of this.... to me suzie just sounds concerned for her friend and gathering information so she can determine what is best for her friend. not 'playing doctor/god' or 'being impatient'. it is simply something that people do when they are worried. when someone I know is sick wether mentally or physically I get information and intellectualize as a defense mechanism of my worry. ex. my brother got mono... he had it really bad and wasnt eating for a while because he could barely swallow water his tonsils were so swollen etc. I wasnt looking up information to tell him to get over it so he could drive me places haha I was looking up how long it would last because I cared.sometimes it is best to take things day by day so making a timeline (even if it is unrealistic) can help with the stress

I think that the internet is a fantastic resource however there is a bit of a barrier when involving communication. reading over these posts it seems to me there were a lot of misunderstandings. there could also be one with this message. I am not angry just I am just trying to clear things up. I am slightly frustrated at miscomminication but nobody in specific so please do not be offended by this message :P haha it seems everything I am saying could be taken offensively.

There is a massive difference between a physical condition causing an illness and a mental condition - it affects so much of your personality and your interactions with people. I sincerely hope you don't equate your brother's swollen tonsils to a psychological breakdown. There are generally specific medications/remedies your can do for physical ailments, so it was logical for you to ask for ways to make things better. But that is not the case with a psycholigical disorder. There is no right answer, no shortcut, no proper way to deal with it.

haha no its just that he has mono right now and it was on my mind. the point I was trying to get across was how intellectualization and gathering information is a coping mechanism and in my opinion there is nothing wrong with trying to learn more on different conditions (keeping in mind that everyone is differnt) I understand there is HUGE difference in psychological vrs physiological illnesses.

I understand how much the mind affects everyday living. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder type 2 and I know there are many things that are 'worse' and that 'I have it easy compared to others' but it is still a mental condition in which a chemical imbalance leaves me out of control of my emotions.... but that is beside the point... I know there is is no 'right way' to do anything but there are different ways to deal with things so learning about those options helps.

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see how it says, "edited by suzie" under every one of her posts?

that's because she's cleaned up and made her original replies look less hostile than they were originally written.

so you're not really seeing what people were responding to being so late to the party.

and i still think being angry at someone for not recovering on your timeline is shitty, which was suzie's problem with her friend. as well, it's very clear in our user agreement that this site is for first-person support, which is not what this topic was about.

I agree with you. being angry at someone for not recovering in a timely fashion is not a good thing... to say it in the most simple way possible haha sorry its late and I am too tired to make any sense

okay I think I probably should stay out of it haha It is probably best not to get involved because you are right I missed a lot of things. I am not saying I believe or dont believe what you say about the edited posts but I really should stay out of things...

oh right. I forgot about that part . oops. I am new user so I should be conscious of the rules. I will probably go look at them again for a refresher. :)

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everyone, do please read the rules They are there for a reason.

we keep this first person because it's hard enough to convey accurate information and support to the actual person, let alone a friend/family member, etc., where someone is simply 'relaying sx' and may be distorted or have their own issues.

so yes, the first person thing is what is at play here. As well as "don't be more of an asshole than our moderators."

Anna

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Wow there are some harsh words here. Suzie bless you for caring for this woman. We all do the best we can and sometimes situations arent ideal but you obviously care for her welfare and I wish you both the best. No wise advice though sorry.

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I am not saying I believe or dont believe what you say about the edited posts but I really should stay out of things..

I'm not on staff here, I'm just a relatively new user. Will you believe me? dianthus is telling the truth. What you wrote implies that maybe she isn't, which I find odd. What reason would she have for lying? To cover up that the staff & members were bullying someone for no reason? Isn't that a bit absurd?

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OK, so I know I am a bit late to this thread. But I have been away for a couple of days.

But I do feel that I can say something here, about this topic that I hope will be helpful. Because I am currently recovering from some form of psychosis.

For me, there is no quick fix. I have been on meds now for a couple of months, and have had loads of 'ups and downs' (not so much mood, but general coping) in that time. The first few weeks I was still in a place of complete denial. And I still have a long way to go.

Now, I <3 my Seroquel I'm on. It started working very early on, but it took a few weeks before I could even start to come out of the delusions I had before. But I have had the confusion from hell where I was pretty close to wanting to stop my meds. This itself lasted for a few weeks. I'd had it for a while when I first mentioned it here, by which time I was in a pretty desperate way. And coming out of that has been a very slow process, but involved me (now I did not want to do this) having to accept that my delusions were not true. For me all of this was incredibly scary. Only now do I think I am more stable, for the last week or so. But I still have a long way to go.

Everyone is different, but I would say that nobody is likely to become well enough to function in a week. You need to give your friend all the time that she needs and don't get impatient with her at all.

PS: What I haven't added here is that it has actually taken years and not weeks to recover. It took me years to even accept that I needed to be on meds. But I would say that recovering from any crisis would likely take months.

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It is actually kind of heartening to see our users defending each other and questioning administrative/staff decisions/words/etc. sometimes. It makes me feel like we're not so heavyhanded that our users are afraid to say things that disagree with us.

Yes, I agree that it is good that people are able to question staff decisions if they want to. I guess I don't feel the need to do that because I have seen how you all treat members and I've read enough of the posts staff have made to know that you all genuinely care for other people (geez, why would anyone take on your job if they didn't??). Maybe it takes doing a lot of reading here to get that picture, but that is what I see. Intelligent people that have their own MI to deal with, being available to help other people with MI as well as keep the peace and keep threads from blasting us with flames. It makes me feel really safe posting, to know that I will be backed up if someone attacks me unfairly AND that you all will tell me to chill the fuck out if I go off my rocker (which happens, a LOT). Hell, I have a MI that makes me delusional at times, I need people to tell me when it's happening!

As for this thread, I think that suzie probably does have concern for her friend, but it bugs the shit out of me that everything got edited the way it did. It reminds me of dealing with my ex-husband, who changes history to suit his needs, usually leaving me bleeding in the dirt. So of course I have life history that makes me especially sensitive to that kind of behavior...

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editing content really bothers me too. i mean there's been times i've deleted a few sentences, but usually because they're either rambly and don't belong, or they're full of spelling errors, or whatnot.

i'd rather that my stupider posts stay the way they are, and give me a chance to apologize or correct myself afterward. there's no way for me to know if my ideas are way out there if i hide them all after the fact.

so i suppose i want everyone else's posts to be that way too, heh.

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There may not be a need to try to say anything now...

But I believe what everyone is getting at with the suggestion that you should "understand" because of your own mental illmeess...

When you were hospitalized (whether reportedly less severe or not) was there one drug that the psychiatrist could try to make things better? Was it guaranteed to work?

do you recover on the same timeline each time you have an episode? Are they all the same length? do the same drugs work each time?

If yes to all of the above, you're different from anyone I know who has any flavor of mental illness. If no, why would you think another illness is different?

I am disturbed by your hierarchy of the seriousness of illnesses. Was your own suffering not sufficient to convince you that depression is nasty too?

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There's no X right dose and Y number of days. It doesn't work that way. She'll get out as soon as the doctor thinks her crisis has stabilized. As for full remission, partial remission, severity of residual symptoms, how long the meds continue to work, there is no way to predict in advance, but her own history may shed some light on how she's likely to do. I don't know that anyone else's history on this board can shed much light on how your friend is likely to do.

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suzie is very upset she has been accused of lying on this thread. Also she printed out every one of the posts on this thread for the 30 or so minutes this discussion occurred re: How it went down. She's also hired an attorney and is contemplating suing 2 Mods (Anna & dianthus) for libel. She has a viable case.

Not walking on eggshells around members is one thing. Lying about what they said - and then banning them for it, when it isn't true is NOT okay. No matter what your forum rules are.The American legal system says it's not

This can legally amount to negligent infliction of emotional distress, and recklessness. Individuals (as opposed to websites/forums) are sued for this successfully quite a bit. And so - dianthis and Anna:If you don't want yourselves to be among them - you have 48 hours to remove this post accusing suzie of lying on this thread (or even insinuatuing she did that)

UNLESS you have rock-solid proof. Because I've seen what she's got, as far as that goes. It's pretty clear what happened here.If you don't want to remove this post - we'll see you in court.

She's got LOTs of relatives who are attorneys who will work nearly for free. And she's got lots of time to pursue this. And she has a good case, from the evidence she's shown me. If you don't want to remove this post - we'll see you in court. This is a serious accusation. You don't want this to happen. It's lengthy and expensive. This your chance to avoid having to do that. It's your legal notice asking you to to remove the post.

Edited by scaredandlost

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