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I like big "buts," and I cannot lie....


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Hi All. I'm Lady Krazy Kat (or just Kat), not to be confused with a "crazy cat lady," which I hope to one day become! I was once a member of this site but was never very active, didn't even "introduce myself" as I'm doing right now, but did post somewhat sporadically. Rather than reviving that account, I figured I'd just start anew.

I'm a female in my late 20s who is currently living in a major metropolitan area in the United States that is somewhere far from where I grew up. I've only lived here a few months, but I like it so far. I am employed as a therapist and have been one, in some form or another, for 4 years. I am coming here wearing the "crazy" hat rather than the "therapist" hat (hmm, I wonder what those respective hats would look like?), but sometimes my own questions and responses to

others may be inadvertently informed by both "hats." (OK, I'll stop with the stupid hat metaphor. I don't even like hats. They make my hair hurt.)

My current psych diagnoses include PTSD, MDD, and GAD. (Some therapists have Dx me with "complex PTSD" though it's not a DSM diagnosis). The PTSD is from childhood sexual abuse, 5 years of domestic violence in adolescence (which entailed emotional, sexual, and physical abuse), and a sexual assault in my early 20s. For most of my childhood/teenagehood, I also experienced emotional abuse from my mother who had untreated mental health issues and a personality disorder-- while I don't think that contributed the PTSD, it certainly created some of the environment in which the other abuse was allowed to occur (and contributed to my other issues). I've had issues with severe anxiety since at least age 6 and depression since age 11, and I started experiencing full blown PTSD symptoms at age 15, at which point I started the therapy-and-med-go-round. I've also struggled with ED and body image issues since age 9 and developed full blown bulimia in my early 20s. I am in recovery from that for the past 5 years, but I still struggle with ED thoughts and urges at times. The most troublesome for me now is PTSD. I also have PMDD, which makes me freaking nutso with anxiety, depression, and general moodiness for the 1-2 weeks before my period.

I'm on my 10th therapist and my 11th psychiatrist since the age of 15. Most of the changes were due to either moving, insurance issues, or in a few cases feeling uncomfortable with the person. I was hospitalized once in my teens, did a year long outpatient DBT program in my 20s, did a handful of support groups, and have had lots of different types of individual therapy (i.e. CBT, Gestalt, humanistic). I have been on every SSRI or SSNRI (with the exception of Pristiq) that exists, a couple mood stabilizers, a couple AAPs, and all things remotely sedating.

For the most part now, I feel my medication regimen is the best it's ever been. I'm really happy with my new therapist I've been seeing since I moved here. However, I'm really starting to lose my marbles again with some of the PTSD shit, due to various life changes and external triggers. I figured I could use the support of a site like this, as well as possibly blogging. (I realize my verbosity is probably best reserved for blogging.) And at the same time, hopefully I can offer up support and help to other people going through similiar issues.

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welcome back :) Don't forget to review the rules and feel free to PM a mod or admin if you need help with anything. If it's your style, check out our chat room and blogs. Hope you stick around.

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