Foju McYoyo Posted June 15, 2011 Share Posted June 15, 2011 I'm new to this medication and so far I've only tried 2 to 4 5mg tablets in a single go so far. I think I'm still looking too much into everything that goes on in my mind while the medication is in effect because of an unconscious fear (that I eventually recognised, obviously) of the stuff. So I may just be ever estimating the effects here. Something I think I've experienced is the inability to get off a train of thought while dex is in effect. It has only been so extreme once that the hurtling freight train was impossible to get off (as a real one would be), but that was just the first time i tried 15mg. other than that, it's been more reasonable. The second time i tried 15mg, it was not so severe which leads me to believe that I just happened to be thinking about something intensely interesting rather than dex is that powerful. The problem is, I've gone from one kind of unproductivity to another. The dexamphetamine would be fine if I was working on a project of interest to me and had to wade through boring parts of it that would usually repel me. But i've got a lot of assesment that's either due soon or is OVER due. both on and off the medication, I'm too busy doing other things. when i'm off it, I'm doing lots of other things. When I'm on it, it's only one - at least for a long period of time, after which it may have become something else - because whatever I have started (a thought or a project or a task), I don't want to stop. I should mention that I'm not medicated at the moment yet i'm still clinging onto writing this post like a pit bull. If i were on dex right now, it'd be harder for me to let go. So, this behaviour is not so unusual, I'm always intensley preoccupied it seems, just dex seems to clean out the clutter and do other such things as make my thoughts more related to each other and more sequential. There are other things too, but they are unrelated to what i'm asking. Is there a way to combat this? I don't want to waste more time being hyper focused on the wrong thing so i'm weary to just try upping the dosage to 5 tablets at a time just to see if all i need is more stimulation so I can bare tedious school work. The more boring it is the more stimulation is needed to compensate, right? Although that could just make my thoughts even more exclusive, thus banishing school work and other chores even farther from my mind. So far it seems more likely that I can get school work done when I haven't taken any dex, albeit very inefficiently (which is why i need the medication in the first place!!!). argh... cycle of failure. the life of the eternal loser. chores are more likely to get done when i'm not taking it too, it seems. Has anyone else experienced this? I suspect I may be blaming too much on the dexamphetamine, as in retrospect, my behaviour hasn't changed much at all. Just the orderliness of my thoughts, really. Nice, neat, square, start to finish. Although if anyone's interested, such as people considering taking dexamphetamine, i've also noticed these changes while dex is in effect: I can actually engage in a conversation I don't have escapist fantasies The drive to do something from start to finish is more easily accessible more chatty, especially when talking about something i'm interested in it's easier to write down thoughts as what i was writing is not interupted and forgotten by another thought thoughts are more related to each other slightly better mood, like pleasantness with a minute edge to it (at times) less distractable, but you'll know from reading my post, it a double edged sword i like people for once more sutff is interesting i'm still annoyed by fogey, cranky old men I still stare off into space, it's just i can remember what i was thinking about 4 seconds ago and earlier (HOLY CRAP!) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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