Reluctant Mom Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Realised I started chatting without walking up to the hostess/host and saying hello and introducing myself first ..... So, this is just a "hi" after I have alreay drank 6 (okay 9) glasses of wine, and started stealing the peanuts and silverware and flirted with the barman (it has been 6 LARGE glasses of wine .....) I am 39, live in CT, South Africa, never chatted or seen a forum like this - a bit overwhelmed by everyone actualy. I am your run of the mill depressed chick with a side order of anxiety disorder, I think I have a few other things going on, but I like to keep those close to my chest for now. I do believe I should be on medication and have a permanent therapist. However I have convinced myself in the past that I have the tools to heal myself ... I have been wrong before, so this is not the first time ..... I have three young children (9, 6 and 2), work full time, photographer part time, blogger a bit of the time, and drink way too much too much fo the time. I am at the point in my life where I feel like things are imploding and I am a tad desperate Desperate for what? Not sure, maybe for it to all stop. Or maybe for me to just be fixed. I did drop a note in other areas on this forum and found the reponses really informative (have I mentioned that I feel a tad nervous of how 'experienced' everyone is here), so will be going along to a pdoc on Monday and then starting CBT. I am giving the appearance that I am quite wordly and self-assured, but the reality is I have no fkn idea what I am doing, other than knowing I am very broken, and desperately in need of help. So, I am just going to pop along back to the bar and refill my glass .... when I am in a social situation I get more nervous (and very anxious) so I drink more ...... Side bar: I am afraid of clowns and emoticons ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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