Reluctant Mom Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Realised I started chatting without walking up to the hostess/host and saying hello and introducing myself first ..... So, this is just a "hi" after I have alreay drank 6 (okay 9) glasses of wine, and started stealing the peanuts and silverware and flirted with the barman (it has been 6 LARGE glasses of wine .....) I am 39, live in CT, South Africa, never chatted or seen a forum like this - a bit overwhelmed by everyone actualy. I am your run of the mill depressed chick with a side order of anxiety disorder, I think I have a few other things going on, but I like to keep those close to my chest for now. I do believe I should be on medication and have a permanent therapist. However I have convinced myself in the past that I have the tools to heal myself ... I have been wrong before, so this is not the first time ..... I have three young children (9, 6 and 2), work full time, photographer part time, blogger a bit of the time, and drink way too much too much fo the time. I am at the point in my life where I feel like things are imploding and I am a tad desperate Desperate for what? Not sure, maybe for it to all stop. Or maybe for me to just be fixed. I did drop a note in other areas on this forum and found the reponses really informative (have I mentioned that I feel a tad nervous of how 'experienced' everyone is here), so will be going along to a pdoc on Monday and then starting CBT. I am giving the appearance that I am quite wordly and self-assured, but the reality is I have no fkn idea what I am doing, other than knowing I am very broken, and desperately in need of help. So, I am just going to pop along back to the bar and refill my glass .... when I am in a social situation I get more nervous (and very anxious) so I drink more ...... Side bar: I am afraid of clowns and emoticons ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedoubt Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Hello there. Don't worry about manners over much here. I've been dragging my muddy feet and loud mouth around here since last year and haven't gotten kicked out of the party yet. As for some of us being more experienced in dealing with MI-- meh. Be glad you aren't. Side bar: I am afraid of clowns and emoticons ......... Is it awful of me that the first thing I wanted to do when I saw that was track down an emoticon of a clown? I'll be nice and not do it. I used to be terrified that there was a clown hiding under my bed with a large knife, ready to kill me, so I sympathize... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reluctant Mom Posted June 25, 2011 Author Share Posted June 25, 2011 Is it awful of me that the first thing I wanted to do when I saw that was track down an emoticon of a clown? I'll be nice and not do it. I used to be terrified that there was a clown hiding under my bed with a large knife, ready to kill me, so I sympathize... Not awful at all ..... we might be related, as it would just be the kind of thing I would be itching to do, I would be dropping them on to my desktop as we speak. I have an aversion to clowns and an avertion to emoticons (smiley faces, faces that wink with the thumbs up sign and soon) fortunately no one has combined clows and emoticons just yet, however I can't imagine that is too far away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
San Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Hello again, talked to you earlier in the chat. Welcome! Good for you on starting CBT. I find the David Burns Feeling Good Handbook to be useful, its CBT and has exercises as well. Ask about it when you see the doc. Here's a link to check it out if you'd like. http://www.amazon.ca/Feeling-Good-Handbook-David-Burns/dp/0452281326/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1309035519&sr=8-1 Good luck Monday, and I am also terrified of clowns! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryp Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 Welcome I'll probably see you in chat, if that's your thing. If you haven't already, take a look at our rules (we don't have many) and feel free to PM a staff member if you need help with anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedoubt Posted June 25, 2011 Share Posted June 25, 2011 I'm sorry, I just... well... I just..... you seem really nice and it makes me think of this: In case you need some more cute guys like him, you can go here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reluctant Mom Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 dedoubt - fabulous! You now have a special place in my heart .... and my mini day-night mares ...... (trhanks for making me laugh this morning .... and creeping me out simultaneously) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reluctant Mom Posted June 26, 2011 Author Share Posted June 26, 2011 sandorfalot - thanks for the book suggestion. I tend to be scetical of self-help books (and puppies, and happy people, and helpful waitrons) ....... I am not sure why .......... but I have searched for the book on a local website and they seem to carry it, thanks, will have a look at it. But the last month has taught me that maybe I do need to rethink the way I think about things, as my presenting "thinking map" is not working. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goodoldneon Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 Welcome to the board - please enjoy a complimentary beverage. Now, that that's out of the way, are you comforted by the assertion that there are yet People on Earth who know what they are doing? Or, like me, do you subscribe to the notion that people who knew what they were doing began to die off about 1945 and are now on the brink of extinction? That they have been replaced by fakes and poseurs? That in ten more years, when everyone rides a Segway talking on cell phones imbedded in their iTeeth, the clueless world will be painfully immanent? That a large number of the world's folk will be fervently annihilating themselves, if they have not already starved, and a small number of the world's folk will be excited by rapid online acquisition of an exorbitant t-shirt? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedoubt Posted June 27, 2011 Share Posted June 27, 2011 dedoubt - fabulous! You now have a special place in my heart .... and my mini day-night mares ...... (trhanks for making me laugh this morning .... and creeping me out simultaneously) This just might be one of the better compliments I've received. Thanks! im not in chat much. or ever. because its a scary and anxious experience for me Me too. I have a hard time getting into a conversation, so I just barrage people with questions, get overwhelmed, then leave. I'm also pretty sure that people leave chat & threads when I show up. That's just my paranoia, though. I think. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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