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Motoko

how to know when you've lost it?

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Every now and then, usually coinciding with my known monthly manic/mixed states, I'll get upset about something and it will build in my head to a ridiculous level. For instance, I've been trying to get information out of my kid about another kid who was bullying her at camp this week, and also stole her stuff. She's only 8 so getting that information has been really difficult, and I found myself getting more upset than I really needed to be over the situation. Not AT her, just in general, and it wasn't going away. When I'm like that, I'm very illogical and have a hard time knowing when I should just chill the fuck out and go do something else to distract myself. Watch a movie. Read Facebook. Whatever. Afterwards I'm all, "Jeezy Creezy, WTF was that all about?!" So I'm wondering how *you* know that you've just lost it and should just go do something else, right now.

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When my mind starts obsessing. Ruminating. Or when I feel this internal pressure building inside of me.

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usually when someone else says, "what the fuck is wrong with you?"

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I obsess/ruminate about a lot of things. But I have anxiety outside of bp, so mine waxes and wanes all the time. I generally don't tell my hubby about it until it's really really bad, but I do feel really guilty when my freakiness is apparent to the kids and they start asking me if I'm ok.

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Usually when I know I'm like that I am incapable of making myself do something else. So I call my mom or my husband and vent until I've calmed down. They tell me how silly I'm being and put things in perspective for me. Then I pop a klonopin and go curl up in a mad little ball somewhere until I'm back to normal.

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When I start ruminating about the drugs I could take to feel better, and I don't mean prescribed ones.

When my husband starts asking me what's wrong? and the kids ask me why I'm getting angry at them.

When I get pissed off at something insignificant and don't let it go, or obsess about buying something, usually expensive.

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When things are too LOUD, colors too BRIGHT, and people are making me angry... then it's closet time. I have a lovely walk in closet/quiet room.

Anna

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Oh yeah, I forgot about the NOISE. I can't even stand the sound of my husband eating cereal on a bad day.

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I've been lost for so long I don't even know anymore. I mean, I thought it was normal... that my mood swings, the sudden inspiration and feeling like I was on top of the world then... nothing... was normal.

I guess it's bad when I get super irritated with EVERYONE, about EVERYTHING so easily. When I can't do anything without my head hurting... when lights seem too bright and darkness is too dark, but there's no balance to any of it.

I don't really know. I'm JUST starting to figure it all out now.

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My husband tells me when he thinks I am having an episode. So far, he has guessed correctly.

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Oh yeah, I forgot about the NOISE. I can't even stand the sound of my husband eating cereal on a bad day.

yes, THIS. argh.

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There's a very specific kind of irritability that I only get when I'm hypo/manic. As soon as it shows up, I know I need to shut the helll up.

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There's a very specific kind of irritability that I only get when I'm hypo/manic. As soon as it shows up, I know I need to shut the helll up.

Yeah, that happens to me too.

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There's a very specific kind of irritability that I only get when I'm hypo/manic. As soon as it shows up, I know I need to shut the helll up.

Yeah, that happens to me too.

Yep, me, too.

As to catching it early, I find that if (IF) I can recognize feeling pressured or easily angered, it is time to go to a quiet place, chill and figure out if it is BP or just that I'm ordinary irritable.

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I've been trying to learn how to spot my dysphoric? mixed? episodes. One test I do is if I'm REALY upset at person x, I think about a different person I have a beef with. I can tell I've lost it if 15-20 minutes later I've forgotten about person x and am fuming mad at the different person. At that point I can tell it's not about them it's about me.

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When my pets start irritating me, I love them to bits. Also, when everything gets "foggy".

When I'm going mixed or hypomanic I am irritable as hell. Irritable is about it for me, I get frustrated and explode (that landed me in an ambulance to the ER in May, I lost it at school)

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Apparently when I'm in a fog and people are too close to me or make a sudden movement, even just dropping something it's enough to make me freak out. :blink: I hope today is better.

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Dang, I can relate to pretty much all of these. I guess now I have some measures as to when I'm mixed, hypo, and manic!

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When I've lost it.... I can't watch a movie. Heh. So that might be a sign. I need to go into my nice quiet room/walk in closet and hang out there for awhile. It's really the best solution for everybody.

Anna

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