Marvingirl Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Well I might no be crazy after all? And that sort of drives me crazy…Go figure… When I was a teenager oh so many years ago I started having these strange attacks of what I know guess is depersonalization. I had no idea what it was, it scared the hell out of me, and I never got the proper treatment. Someone labeled me ”panic attacks” and that has stuck with me ever since. It became the self fulfilling prophecy. I became so afraid of the fear that I became afraid and an anxiety disorder was born. The depersonalization went away but the panic stayed and years and years of therapy and antidepressants had been my life ever since. Untill this winter when a bright head made me take an MR and an EEG after some new and strange attacks of Deja Vue. And jackpot, Temporal lope epilepsy. Since then I have been on Topimax. The first 4 months was hell. I felt like someone was rearranging my brain. And I guess someone was, because all of a sudden I realized that I wasn’t anxious anymore. No more panic, no more anxious, no more nothing. For the last couple of months I just feel happy and normal. I can’t remember the last time I felt like that. Never maybe? So maybe I never had an anxiety disorder? Maybe is was temporal lope epilepsy all along? Maybe my previous doctors, psychiatrists, therapist etc. need a kick in the but? And what do I do know with my 20 mg of lexapro and my low dose of antipsychotics which has until now done a so-so job of keeping me relatively stable? I really don’t feel like I need them at all. Probably should consider a tapering down plan. And where is the support group for people, who thought they were crazy, but recently found out, they might not be so crazy after all, and that’s is REALLY driving them crazy trying to figure out what the hell has been going on inside their head? Og and I live in a country far, far away, where english is not the native tongue, so please be patient with my language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurochs Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Topamax can help people with anxiety. I don't know much about seizures, but I would think that anxiety associated with a seizure disorder would mainly show up alongside a seizure. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryp Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Welcome I think the whole crazy vs. not crazy thing can be complicated sometimes. If you want to be here, you're welcome, and hopefully you'll be able to get something out of it. If you haven't already, take a look at our rules and feel free to PM a staff member if you need any help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 I certainly can't diagnose you or speak to your disorder or your medication. I'm pretty ignorant about drugs I haven't been prescribed. Self-focus and all that. But I can relate somewhat because I have had some strong deja vu experiences when manic, and these drive me to near panic. (And, coincidentally, today I've been thinking I might need to go back on Depakote which I discontinued.) But in any event, good luck. Maybe there is an epilepsy support group on the web which you could check out also? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
confused Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 Welcome! There is a seizure support board here you might want to check out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mammakanin Posted July 13, 2011 Share Posted July 13, 2011 welcome!if you hadn't written that last sentence, i never would have known that english wasn't your native language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvingirl Posted July 14, 2011 Author Share Posted July 14, 2011 Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. Will, good luck to you too and thanks Mammakanin, that's nice of you to say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterRosie Posted July 14, 2011 Share Posted July 14, 2011 Your English is fine, Marvin. Don't worry about it. Just the same as you shouldn't worry about being crazy vs non-crazy - because that can drive people insane! Welcome to CB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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