Lenray Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 I feel like I'm sane, or at least not wholly bad. But My mood is flat. I'm on Trazodone and have been for over a year (upto 200mg) but recently I just don't seem to have the energy to do things. I don't care a whole lot and any emotions that I do experience last normally about 10-20minutes before I'm flat again. I would love to come off my meds if only so that things feel real. Tonight I've taken 250mg instead of 200. I know I probably shouldn't but I just want a bit of a higher status mood wise. It took a while to get to the right combo that did anything for my mood whatsoever and so the concept of possibly changing is scary. In theory I can go up to 300mg on these without it being too much of an issue. What do people think? It's not that the drugs don't work. I have good times with friends and I am generally ok but my mood is flat. Deadened. I think it's progressively getting worse as well. On the plus side, for those of you who know. I've taken my drugs without any complaints tonight. Trying to be a good girl and not drive myself insane by not taking them. Any advice will be well recieved. x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaSue Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 Trazadone isn't really the most effective antidepressant. So it's mostly used as a sleep aid these days. Rather than increasing your trazadone dosage, I'd recommend talking to your pdoc about adding another AD. Looking at your list of past meds, and thinking about the kind of flatness you're describing, I'd think wellbutrin might be a good option to consider, as it works differently than meds you've tried in the past, and tends to be helpful for that kind of apathetic/unmotivated/flat thing. Moving this to the antidepressant board. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catnapper Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 I find my combo of 300 mg of Wellbutrin and 200 mg of Lamictal to be very effective in keeping my mood normal. SSRIs, which I tried first, did absolutely nothing for me, and turned me into a zombie. My depressive symptoms are 'atypical', as the docs say - apathy, tired all the time, sleeping all the time, won't get out of bed, eat too much, etc. Wellbutrin is considered activating, and I think Lamictal is too, but anyways, they have really given me my life back. See my signature below for my diagnosis. Hope you find something that works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenray Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 I had forgotten that last night I had posted this ¬¬ which sadly doesn't surprise me. I don't actually have a pdoc (I wouldn't even know how to get one. I've been refused by psychiatrists twice now even with referrals from my gp requesting them to see me), just a general GP who I'm seeing sometime either this coming week or next week so I'll talk to him. We hadn't wanted to do anything to my meds because I've been functioning fine with these. I'm just rather apathetic right now a lot of the time and yeah pretty flat. I think this was prescibed because I have a terrible time getting to sleep. As it is I get pretty kick ass sleep. I mean it isn't real but it's there at least and I get like 8-12 hours a day which is... nice I think =) Oh also, I've been allowed to alter my meds before without asking the doctor beforehand. He's not just like, not caring or anything, he just knows that I will try and do what's best for me and sometimes he let's me "play with the dosages" just to try and get what's right. I mean I'll tell him it didn't feel right when I did it this once. The consequence of me taking 50mg more than usual seemed to be that I was buzzing all day. It was certainly weird. Like I was talking almost nonstop from waking up which is very strange for me. Although I also was dealing with going out and helping my friend who was crashing terribly. So that might have made me slightly buzzy, not in a good way just in a "omg I need to do something!" and my usual way of helping people when things are going bad is to try and distract them with anything I can. I still felt my approach was wrong but I couldn't help it. I did at least tell her why I was buzzing and it wasn't just me not caring or whatever. Although I don't think the increase was much good (I know increases take time to really work) but I didn't appreciate the feeling I got. So I've had to take 150mg today (I don't like having uneven numbers in my meds. It will just be annoying having one less than I should). So I'm expecting a mini crash tomorrow. I'm pretty responsive to my meds. In some ways I really want to modify something so I'm just... happier. I'm coping fine like I said but I don't really want to live life just coping. Being flat is quite frustrating (for the length of time that I remember what I'm feeling). Really what I want to feel is something real but I don't remember what that is so I don't even know how that would happen. Sorry, rambly - still really rather buzzy (11am-2pm is a long time to buzz). Thank you all for replying =) it is muchly appreciated x Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 i'm confused as to why you are being turned down by pdocs? could you explain that further? There may be some advice that people on here could give you about that..... if we know the details. As far as traz, yeah, it's not the greatest AD on earth. I'd be trying something else, really. Anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaSue Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I'm also wondering why pdoc's are turning you down. And what you mean when you say your sleep isn't real? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenray Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 I don't actually know why they keep refusing me. My doctor is really annoyed that they did. They just sent a reply saying I needed more counselling. Even though my doctor had told them that I had done that and it didn't help all that much. They just flat out refuse me and don't actually give a reason other than that. It's really weird and I didn't even think they could do that when you are being reffered. I just thought that they would shove me on a long long list of waiting. I have slight reality issues with these meds. I don't feel like what I feel (emotionwise) is real emotions and the fact that the sleep is only achievable through medication make it feel not real to me. It's tricky to explain. I mean it is real because it's happening but it doesn't feel real because I wake up groggy and take about 6 hours before I can really be bothered to communicate with most people or can really do anything. I don't feel refreshed and ready to face the world (most days I do get exceptions). I think the flatness isn't helping the unreality feeling either. I see my gp on Thursday and I'm going to tell him a lot of this stuff and fingers crossed I might get somewhere. But at the same time I don't want to go through the switching of drugs to get teh right cocktail. It made me very ill last time I did it. It's kind of scary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anna Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 what country what insurance, what else, what has gdoc tried to help you get to pdoc Anna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SashaSue Posted July 17, 2011 Share Posted July 17, 2011 I don't actually know why they keep refusing me. My doctor is really annoyed that they did. They just sent a reply saying I needed more counselling. Even though my doctor had told them that I had done that and it didn't help all that much. They just flat out refuse me and don't actually give a reason other than that. It's really weird and I didn't even think they could do that when you are being reffered. I just thought that they would shove me on a long long list of waiting. I have slight reality issues with these meds. I don't feel like what I feel (emotionwise) is real emotions and the fact that the sleep is only achievable through medication make it feel not real to me. It's tricky to explain. I mean it is real because it's happening but it doesn't feel real because I wake up groggy and take about 6 hours before I can really be bothered to communicate with most people or can really do anything. I don't feel refreshed and ready to face the world (most days I do get exceptions). I think the flatness isn't helping the unreality feeling either. I see my gp on Thursday and I'm going to tell him a lot of this stuff and fingers crossed I might get somewhere. But at the same time I don't want to go through the switching of drugs to get teh right cocktail. It made me very ill last time I did it. It's kind of scary. You really, really, really need to find a pdoc. Have you met with those who refused you, or did only your gp talk to them? If they're reccommending more counselling, why don't you try that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lenray Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 I haven't met them, it was all done through letters. I've done quite a bit of counselling and I always found that it didn't do an awful lot of good. It's the question "So what's wrong?" that I have problems with because there isn't anything (apparent) that is wrong. Aside from the insomnia (which is being dealt with) I can't work out why things happen so we end up in a sort of loop and nothing happens. I am starting yet another session with new people in the hopes that I get somewhere. Maybe they just don't think I'm ill enough to require their help =/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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