Obscuremachine Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 I was 43 years old before I was diagnosed with BP Disorder. Actually, I was 43 before I ever went to any kind of counselor! I always knew something was wrong, but I also thought the world and people were just really messed up, and that messed with me. Who knew. I don't know how I lived before. I would work my ass off to deal with it; read, watch tv, listen to music, all to keep my brain busy and drown out my racing thoughts. Then I would burn out, quit my job, become horribly depressed, then try to recover; then start the cycle all over again. To me, that seemed normal, like how everyone lived. (Oh yeah, my undergrad degree is in psychology!) Wow, looking back on it now, my parents must have wanted to kill me. With the meds I'm on now, I feel somewhat balanced and normal for the first time in my life. My doctor says I'm not completely balanced yet, and there's more to do. But, just this feels so much better that I'm fairly content. My wife has noticed a HUGE change in me. I feel badly that she's had to deal with me (and my not knowing about this) for so long. She's a good woman. And hot! Now I'm trying to figure out who the hell I am, who I want to be, and what I actually want to do with the second half of my life. Maybe run for president, or become a park ranger. Not sure. Any suggestions??? It's nice to find this place. I've hated feeling alone for so many years. Feel free to yell at me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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