Obscuremachine Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 I was 43 years old before I was diagnosed with BP Disorder. Actually, I was 43 before I ever went to any kind of counselor! I always knew something was wrong, but I also thought the world and people were just really messed up, and that messed with me. Who knew. I don't know how I lived before. I would work my ass off to deal with it; read, watch tv, listen to music, all to keep my brain busy and drown out my racing thoughts. Then I would burn out, quit my job, become horribly depressed, then try to recover; then start the cycle all over again. To me, that seemed normal, like how everyone lived. (Oh yeah, my undergrad degree is in psychology!) Wow, looking back on it now, my parents must have wanted to kill me. With the meds I'm on now, I feel somewhat balanced and normal for the first time in my life. My doctor says I'm not completely balanced yet, and there's more to do. But, just this feels so much better that I'm fairly content. My wife has noticed a HUGE change in me. I feel badly that she's had to deal with me (and my not knowing about this) for so long. She's a good woman. And hot! Now I'm trying to figure out who the hell I am, who I want to be, and what I actually want to do with the second half of my life. Maybe run for president, or become a park ranger. Not sure. Any suggestions??? It's nice to find this place. I've hated feeling alone for so many years. Feel free to yell at me now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Will Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 Welcome. Glad you're on board and getting some relief. Running for President? Man, if I could just write my novel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thomas Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 Welcome Obscure Machine! As far as the second half of your life, you could be a librarian (lots of second or late-life vocations). In library school, I always told my professors (Jokingly) that I wanted to be a librarian for "money, power, and prestige." None of that came about, but it is a very satisfying career. Of course, President would be cool too. Tommy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 Welcome aboard! Be whatever you want to be, as long as it makes you happy and doesn't harm others. I had a bit of a shock when initially given a BP dx [which has since morphed into schizoaffective, but that's another story...]. Up until my dx, I never realised that my mood swings were significant. Once I started getting treated, the world started making more sense. Anyways, remember to read up on the rules and feel free to PM a staff member if you have any questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
null0trooper Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 Welcome aboard! Be whatever you want to be, as long as it makes you happy and doesn't harm others. ... unless they richly deserve it. Maybe a job as a security guard? By the way, when dealing with the usual "how could I have not known I was screwed up?" questions that come with a recent diagnosis and a semblance of stability, just remember that you *were* screwed up at the time. On the depression board you'll see "that's the depression talking" used a bit, because all of the mood disorders fsck your chances of recognizing what's going on in your head. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AirMarshall Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 Welcome aboard. I too was 43 when I finally was diagnosed. Things will never be perfect my life, but they are much better now. a.m. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tryp Posted July 16, 2011 Share Posted July 16, 2011 Welcome It's a little weird when your meds start working for the first time. Glad you got there though - it's certainly better than the alternative! Let us know if you need help with anything, and feel free to dive right in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Obscuremachine Posted July 17, 2011 Author Share Posted July 17, 2011 Thanks for the welcome. It's good to know other people who are....................................................who have "issues." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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