psychic vs psychotic

[mindsigh]

Hi.

I'm new here and not sure quite what I'm doing. Maybe just coping with insomnia on a friday night. ;P Anywa... Let me just begin at the beginning.

My first "auditory hallucination" was at age 8. I started hearing voices that were mean and critical but I also heard nice things once in a while too. It was few and far between until age 18 when I actually started seeing what appeared to be spirits standing around my bed having a meeting. Only now I could see them but not hear them. As the years went on I had several more visions that became increasingly personal and interactive. It was as though they were discovering me discovering them. I was given messages about people and events and how I should behave. Some warnings came true and some helpful hints paid off. I've had about 5 near death experiences which may be the cause of this happening. I've also met several "psychics" throughout the years who confirm what I experience to be a spiritual phonomenon.

I only started to think I was really crazy when I was attacked by demons that I could see and hear and feel. They tortured me for a year relentlessly until I got "saved" by Jesus and then ran them off by reading the bible and knowing my rights. I had to memorize scripture and spew it at them to overpower their lies. Finally, I guess I believed them away. It's been about 4 years since then and I only hear two distinctive voices now so I feel it is managed although I have insomnia and intense social anxiety plagued with thought broadcasting. I think this might be PTSD from dealing with the persecution. Does anyone know anything about that???

I do still dream vividly and it's hard to tell if I'm awake or sleeping sometimes because I'm so aware of my surroundings (the bed, the ceiling, the room, etc). Anyway, I'm happy to have a place to "vent" and feel not so all alone for once. If anyone knows anything about PTSD and how to deal with the thought broadcasting I would love to hear about it.

Thanks for being here. God bless!

[Damik]

I took CBT for PTSD and found it very helpful. I haven't put it into practice lately and it can't really help that way, can it? But I did a program called "Seeking Safety" through my local (at the time) hospital. It is mainly directed at dual diagnosis (and I'm not) but the primary information was transferable and helpful.

[Guest Vapourware]

Hai and welcome to the boards.

About your experiences - how I view spiritual experiences vs psychosis is that you have control over the former, but not the latter. I do believe in spiritual experiences but psychosis can seem like them. Thought broadcasting, however, is definitely psychotic. I have dealt with my thought broadcasting by taking antipsychotics. Are you currently in treatment? I think it is a good idea to have some treatment, so you can differentiate between spiritual experiences and psychosis. If the experiences go away with antipsychotics, then it's likely that it's psychosis.

Anyways, have a read of the rules and feel free to PM a staff member if you have any questions.

[Anna]

I am also a pretty spiritual person, generally, but it can be REALLY hard to distinguish between psychosis/psychic abilities (which I don't necessarily disbelieve in). When I'm really psychotic, some of the information I get is real, which i don't quite understand. Mr. A for example, tells me at my last psychotic episode, I went off to talk to his dead relatives and came back knowing a lot about them (which Info I had never heard before) and what they had to say and whatnot.

Since we're both kind of odd, we believe in this phenomenon.

However, that being said, my psychosis is also bound up within a lot of other nonsense, usually EXTREMELY life interfering. I don't really need/can do much with messages from the other side when I'm hospiatalized for the crazy. I have found that being stable, euthymic, and non psychotic is much more helpful for me overall in general, and that if I want to have spiritual contact, I can also do so by praying/meditating and listening when I am in a normal state, and this works much better.

I would advise you to seek treatment for these sx as some of them sound very distressing. But that is just my opinion. As far as PTSD due to the visions.... I don't know if that qualifies for a PTSD dx, but a good dr and therapist could help you out a LOT with this.

Anna

[enlightened_plutonian]

If I were you, I would try to get treatment. That is the best way that you can know what is going on, and also the best way to reduce the experiences if they are affecting you.

Personally I can relate to a lot of what you said. I have had both psychotic and spiritual experiences and I do not believe them to be linked, but in truth I can't be certain. But my psychosis has often been like a 'spiritual nightmare'. For years I was convinced that I was demon possessed because I was hearing voices and also experiencing thought control. This (also being when I was depressed) greatly reduced my self esteem at a time when it already wasn't too good.

I have also had thought broadcasting, which for me is very annoying. It has taken me a long time to recover from that. And even then when I still experience it (nowhere near as much as before I went on meds) it is only recently I have been able to tell myself that it isn't happening.

[Will]

To mindsigh: Welcome. I hope you find some helpful stuff here. But remember, this board is not a substitute for treatment by a caring tdoc and pdoc.

Vapourware said:

"how I view spiritual experiences vs psychosis is that you have control over the former, but not the latter. I do believe in spiritual experiences but psychosis can seem like them."

(Look, I don't have the patience to learn how to do the quote boxes.)

Vape, you do have a way with capsule summaries. I mean this as a sincere compliment.

Edit: And I just read Anna's post, especially the 1st & 2d paragraphs. I am in agreement. Some weird stuff happens to me in mania that I can (a) explore from a spiritual standpoint, or (b) explain away as part of the psychosis. The choice has to be mine and it has to be done intelligently and with a great deal of skepticism towards both explanations. It is best to leave explanations to the post-episode phase, and to treat the experience with a higher degree of skepticism during mania/psychosis.