Ubeturass Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 I hate me. Always have. I've been told by my doctors that I always will. I started self-mutilating when I was 3, by my mother's account. I have obsessive compulsive personality disorder. I've been on cymbalta for like 4 years now. It takes the edges off so that I usually don't do anything "stupid" I found this site because I googled "Cymbalta brain-zaps". I've been having unexplained brain zaps for a few weeks now and I haven't missed any doses so now I'm terrifed that I'm broken and cymbalta will stop working and I'll have to go back to therapy again to find a new medicine...and that won't work so I'll try another one but before i get to it I'll have killed myself...so if you have any idea what causes brain zaps when you haven't changed your doses I would really like to know. So, that's me in a nutshell. My typical day looks like this: I suck. I know it. You know it. And I know you know it. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me...because I know no one cares. But gosh - with all these crazy people in one place maybe one of them will be crazy enough to talk to me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Damik Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 I get brain zaps, too. But I'm not on Cymbalta. It was really bad last month but this month it comes and goes, mostly at night. I'm sorry you are having the brain zaps I know how disruptive they are. Keep working with your pdoc you should be able to find something that works better than what your doing now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Vapourware Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Hai and welcome to the boards. It's a shame that you feel so negatively about yourself. It really might be an idea to get some therapy if you don't have a therapist already, so you can work on these and hopefully release yourself from those thoughts. Also, don't catastrophise about your meds as yet, you don't quite know what's going on and it might go away, or you might be able to find a new drug that works even better than Cymbalta. I think it's a good idea to contact your pdoc about your brain zaps and see what they have to say. Anyways, have a read of the rules and feel free to PM a staff member if you have any questions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justme04 Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 I've had brain zaps on klonopin when i first started taking them. (esp. if i took more than i was supposed to) talk to your pdoc/tdoc about your brain zaps, maybe they have suggestions for them i'm also sad to hear that you feel so negatively about yourself, and i can relate, because it's the same struggle i go through every day. i honestly hate myself. i think you will find that you're not the only one who struggles with these things on this board. so, welcome to the board, too. it's a great place to vent and talk about what you're going through. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
olga Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Welcome to our happy nuthouse. I think there are plenty of people here who will talk to you, and I hope we will convince you that therapy can be a good thing. Contact a staff person if you have any questions. olga Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandafp Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Hello and welcome. I am new as well. Thus far the people here have been for the most part helpful. People will no doubt talk to you here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Emperor Posted July 27, 2011 Share Posted July 27, 2011 Welcome to CB. I used to think I'd always hate myself. I still wonder if I will or not, but it's starting to look up. I hope you can work on this, because I know it's a terrible thing to have to deal with. Hope I see you around the boards! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dedoubt Posted July 28, 2011 Share Posted July 28, 2011 Helloo.... I was a life long self hater, and though it took a long time, I'm starting to feel better about myself (I'm 41, so yah, it took a long time, but... well, it feels better not to totally hate myself). I don't know how old you are, but I got the feeling you're younger than I am-- if you have meds that basically work, even if they're being a little weird lately, and you can get yourself into therapy if you aren't already, you will be miles ahead of me. It doesn't always have to be the way it's been. And yes, this is a very good place to be, in this nest of crazies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ubeturass Posted July 29, 2011 Author Share Posted July 29, 2011 Holy crap! you guys are all crazy! You actually talked to me...thanks! (The countdown to me making you hate me begins now...it won't be on purpose, it's just what happens...everyone that meets me eventually hates me) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emettman Posted July 29, 2011 Share Posted July 29, 2011 (The countdown to me making you hate me begins now...it won't be on purpose, it's just what happens...everyone that meets me eventually hates me) Let's see. I don't do hate much, but if I did (bother, I now have an Elton John song locked in my brain for the rest of today) you would be so far down the list of people I ought to hate that I doubt I'd get around to you before I croak. (Or I decide that the most positive thing I can do with my less-than-ideal life is see how many deserving people I can take with me. (That's only black humour, so far)) And no, I don't want to get into a relative crappiness competition. That wasn't my point. Hello and welcome was. I've found the sanest mad people I've ever met here, or the maddest sane ones. Chris. The tick-tick, tick-tick , of steel train wheels running round the track in my garden will be easing my mind today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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