[Clever Introductory Post Title]

[GeniusInABottle]

Now introducing... *fanfare* a forum virgin. Whoop-de-doo! Anyways... I don't know how this is supposed to go, so I'm just going to wing it.

I am sixteen years old, I'm a girl, and I (like to think that I) am highly intelligent. My friends (and a couple of ex-teachers) think that there is something wrong with me, which I am only now beginning to believe. I found this website off of Google after searching something along the lines of "self harm help" and ta-da! Here I am. I read some of the posts and thought it'd be a great group to which to belong. Obviously, by the means I used to find this forum, I am a self-harmer. That's the only thing with which I am currently "diagnosed", because my parents won't let me see a psychiatrist.

"Any problem you have, you can talk to us about it," they said.

"OK, then," I said, followed by... a problem that isn't relevent here, but they rejected it as a problem, nonetheless (I'll rant about it later). Point being, I can't, in fact, talk to them about anything nor can I be diagnosed with or treated for a mental illness, so I need a place where I can vent and talk about the things that no one else believes are going on.

Based on this, I'm probably just gonna blog everything else I want to say. It'll probably make more sense if I put more detail into it, but I don't want to bore the readers in the introduction section, so... Bye for now.

[AirMarshall]

Welcome!

a.m.

p.s. wipe the fish scales off your chin. arf arf arf.

[Guest Vapourware]

Hai and welcome to the boards.

It's unfortunate that your parents seem a bit invalidating about your concerns. I wonder if there is a school counsellor you can see. You don't need your parent's permission to see a school counsellor, and a counsellor can advocate on your behalf.

Anyways, have a read of the rules and feel free to PM a staff member if you have any questions.

[dedoubt]

Hi there!

I'm a crazy mom to a 16 yo boy (plus 3 others), and I encourage him to talk to me about anything. Plus he sees a therapist & psychiatrist... Even with all of that, there are things he won't talk about, or will, but long after the problem, though generally we are close and talk a lot. So I'm kind of having the opposite problem that you have, but I can kind of see (though I absolutely don't agree with the method) that maybe your parents think they can make a problem go away by pretending that it isn't there. Do they know you self harm? Are you willing to talk to the school counselor? That might give you a route to seeing a doctor-- not sure of the laws regarding parental consent for medical treatment, but maybe you could call around to some mental health centers and ask?

I started to SI (self injure) when I was very young, maybe 5 or 6 (hitting my head against walls, biting myself, punching myself, etc.), but I really got bad (lots of sharp things) when I was 15. I'm 41 and still SI, though not all the time. If someone had taken me to a doc for help when I was 15, I might have been able to stop sooner. Maybe pointing this out to your parents will change their minds. It's not like you're asking to go to Disney World!

I'm glad you're here, and you can PM me if you like.

[Obscuremachine]

Parents think their kids are nuts. But when you're really nuts, they don't want to think about it. Whenever I would try to converse with my parents they would redirect the subject or belittle what I was going through or tell me to "suck it up and be a man." (My father was a general in the air force). It would be wholly too embarrassing for them to admit I had issues, much less take me to see someone. So I spent years wondering what was wrong with me, but too embarrassed to seek help.

Do whatever you can to procure help. Talk to a school counselor if you can. There are some places out there where you can get some free help, but you'll have to check your area. You might be able to talk to someone at a church, if the churches don't suck. (I've worked at churches with high school students, and I'm the type of weird guy people would come to for stuff like this).

Venting helps, but it's profoundly more beneficial to talk with the people here, who can support us with our brain damage......................I mean mental issues.

blah, blah, blah. That's all I got. Welcome!

[GeniusInABottle]

@Dedoubt: My parents don't know I self-harm. They've asked me before, and, being too afraid to admit it, I lied and said it was the dog's fault or something. They've even taken away my scissors because they thought I was going to kill myself (I had the scissors beside me on my bed after I cut.) I'm not sure about where my school counselor is or what their policy is, because my school is ridiculously advanced yet ridiculously vague about certain things. I'm going to find out as soon as school starts next month, though.

@Obscuremachine: I'm a girl, but I have the exact problem with my parents telling me to "suck it up". Whenever I express any kind of mental or physical weakness, even something as simple as crying, they think I'm just being a baby. They mean well, they really do, but (apologies for typical teenage complaint) they don't get me. I do have a good life, a good family, but they don't take my problems as seriously as they take their own.

Also, I appreciate the church recommendation, but I'm an atheist living in the Bible-belt of the US, so the church officials around here have the shove-our-religion-down-your-throat kind of personalities.

@everyone, thanks for the welcome.

[AnneMarie]

Welcome to CB. It sounds like you've already looked around and see that we have the boards, blogs and chat. Have a look at the rules and feel free to contact Staff or and Admin if you have questions or need help.

In response to your thread here, if you don't tell your parents that you SI and of your other significant issues (if there are any), how are they supposed to figure out that you need professional help? I know that telling frankly and in full isn't an easy thing to do.

[pandafp]

Hello and welcome.

[Velvet Elvis]

I was 17 before I got any help despite being suicidal off and on since I was 11. What I finally had to do was print off some self-assessment forms I found in the internet (actually, it might have been CompuServe, I'm old) and show them to them.

[vanderk]

Welcome to CB. This is the best MI support site, bar none. Revealing your self-infurious behaviors to your parents is necessary if they are going to take your desire for professional help at all seriously. But I'll also add that most states have some provision for minors seeking help without parental involvement. My state (Mitten-land) permits up to 12 sessions without parental authorization. Call your local CMH office and ask about the policies of your state.

[GeniusInABottle]

I don't want to tell them about the self harm, though. They spaz out whenever someone acts depressed. They're just like, "That person is sooo weak, they need to just get over themselves and be happy." If they knew I hurt myself? The drama that would unfold... They've asked me if I do it, and I've lied so much about it that if I told them they'd be P.O.'d at me for hiding it. Heck, I told them about my sexual orientation, and without regard to how I knew/know I felt/feel, told me I was wrong. How does that make sense?

I told them I wanted to see someone because I have a huge problem with pulling out my hair, eyelashes, etc. and I could not stop doing it. Half the time I didn't even know I was doing it, and at one point I had literally no top lashes. They didn't do anything, just told me it was a "matter of willpower" and I could just get over it if I tried hard enough. But when I had a noticeable bald patch on my head, they took me to a dermatologist who said it was alopecia areata. She didn't ask any questions about what else it could be, didn't ask if I had pulled it out myself, she just diagnosed it and gave me shots in the top of my head (which did no good, obviously, and hurt like heck). I was too scared to say anything else. -__-