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Despicable Meeee!

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I'm way irritated because I already wrote this and my computer decided to freak out on me & I lost my post before I could save it!

So now you get the short irritated version of me.

Which is ironic, because I am short. And now I am very irritated.

Also...electronic things tend to fizz out around me. Its weird...I've even made an xbox 360 freeze up while walking by it...my husband thinks along with my electric personality I probably have a crazy higher than normal electric charge lol.

I am energetic, chocoholic artistic bookworm nailbiter free-spirit who is only a little slutty looking. I've been told I'm vivacious and vicious...not necessarily at the same time but yah. Very unperfect, a little broken...but I have my moments of pure awesome.

I found this site when I was searching for an explanation on why the prednisone I was prescribed for my asthma bronchitis issues triggered a manic episode last night. It did not go well...I made a lot of bad choices...and so now I'm embarrassed, not quite as wired, and felt extremely relieved when I read everyones experiences...I was worried I had just branched out into a new brand of crazy.

Soooooo concisely: ADHD...just diagnosed as Borderline Personality Disorder last year. Bad Bad things happened. I was hospitalized. I had a hard time accepting this diagnosis: it was definately not flattering & I believe I shouted at the Psychiatrist when she asked if I ever felt like, "I hate you, don't leave me?"

"NO. And I know what you are insinuating and I am incredibly insulted. I do not agree with your diagnosis, I'm not borderline!"

Whoops forgot to mention had been working in mental health for 8 years...so I had a very hard time accepting my diagnosis. But my therapist helped by pointing out the good parts: I do feel joy more strongly than the average person and getting my first hospitalization at age of 30 means I had been coping well at a much higher functioning bpd level than what I was used to seeing.

Right now I'm unmedicated. Partly because I'm unemployed & have no insurance right now...partly because I was just tired of taking so many damn pills. After everything that happened I quit my job. I know I need to get back in therapy soon & I will probably need a med overhaul. I have good days, but then I have bad days that scare me into thinking I might be losing control & headed for another hospitalization.

The best part of my life is my husband & our kid. I really am married to my best friend, I've put him through hell & back & he is still here. I love them both fiercely.

Helloooo CrazyBoards people!

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Hi, glad you found us.

Luckily the only thing you've got that really demands medication is the ADHD, the others can be handled via therapy. That said, you'd be better off getting back on some kind of cheap generic something sooner or later. I don't have insurance either and I manage to stay medicated most of the time.

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I can't really take any typical adhd meds anymore because I had a weird side effect where my resting heart rate went up to 180 something & I got dizzy & hands face tingling numb & flushing. That and being borderline, my symptoms from that were made worse. I always felt like I was having a bad day when I had to take Adderall, my husband explained that what I though was a bad day was how the rest of the world feels normally... which is when I first started to think it was ok to not be normal ^.^ I would be open to trying a neuroleptic or antipsychotic since those are supposed to help borderline symptoms & then maybe add adhd meds to that.

OMG I love despicable me too! When that tiny girl sees the unicorn....it's so fluffy I could die! That's me! She even looks a little like me lol.

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