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VERY much concerned for a friend


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Please Help!!!!

I don't know where to post this, but here goes i'm VERY concerned for a friend who lives several states away from me. he messaged me on facebook saying that he was deactivitng his account, and not to talk him out of it. I asked him why he was doing that, and he said it was b/c he was "over" everything and everyone and that he didn't mean anything to anyone anyway, and that he was "wasiting my time" b/c I obviously care nothing about him, just like everyone else. I tried to tell him that wasn't true, and tried to get him to talk to me, afteall i understand depression...

he also wrote that it was "time for him to die" and that is was "overdue" that really scares me. He's several states away, doesn't have a phone, and just blocked me on facebook when I tried to talk him out of it, and tried to get him to talk to me. He hinted that it had something to do with what his sister said. Part of me wants to message her and just curse her up and down if she made her own brother feel like this...I can't believe that she would do that.

Now, I really, really don't know what to do, or even if I can help him. :( this sucks so bad.

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Sorry you're going through this. This is a tough one. Sounds like he did not express to you that he has a plan or has gathered the means to suicide. What does your gut tell you? If your gut confidently tells you he is going to try to complete a suicide, you can call his local police department and ask them to do a "welfare check" where they go to his house. That could lead to a 3day hold if the police are persuaded. If your gut tells you it's something less than completed suicide, then I guess your options are to contact his sister, go to him yourself, or just do nothing and let him be, maybe write him a letter.

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Call your local police, not on their 911 line, and tell them you have a friend who is indicating he is suicidal at his address, in state Y, and they should contact his local police. I've heard of people at a distance calling on behalf of someone before. I haven't tried it myself, but it apparently works at least part of the time.

If you don't know the address, I am not sure what to suggest.

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Yeah, if you're really concerned call the cops in his town and give them all the info you have on him. He'll hate you for it, at least in the short term, but if he's already declared he's not going to speak to you again you have nothing to lose and might save a life.

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If you are truly worried about him you should have the cops do the welfare check. I went through something similar once and I was terrified to call the cops because I was afraid it would ruin my friend's life...what would I do if cops knocked on my door and all the neighbors saw them? In this case I didn't end up doing it because my friend had a phone and I told her if she didn't text me every hour I would call the cops (she's ok now, going to have a baby in a month in fact)

What about this: do you know any of his friends that live close to him? If you do - call them right away and tell them to go check...or his parents or siblings etc...is there anyone you can get in touch with?

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Well, I heard from my friend, thank God he didn't actually do anything. he even apologized for making me worry about him like that b/c he said i didn't deserve it. i can really look past it though, b/c at least he's OK.

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