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Hey everyone..I'm a 22 year old male..I'm new to these forums but I was hoping by taking a step forward and by posting things about what I'm going through I'd me making some progress..I just really need some clarity.

To start off,I've been diagnosed with OCD, social anxiety disorder, and generalized anxiety disorder.

Lately though, strange things have been happening to me..I'm sorry if I make it sound confusing but it's extremely hard to explain but i'll try my very best.

I pretty much feel like..I'm losing my grip on reality..where I'm honestly starting to go crazy. I feel like I don't know what's going to happen with me.

I guess I feel like I'm losing my ability to grasp reality..? If that makes any sense..It probably sounds quite vague..>.<..

I've recently had frightening thoughts thinking like ''Oh what if I'm really in some coma and this isn't my real life'' or thoughts like ''how do I know this is real..? that everything around is me is real?''

I'm so scared..I feel like I'm just going to lose myself..that I'm no longer going to be able to resist and be consumed within my own mind.

It just seems like my own mind cannot grasp the real life things around me. Whether I'm outside at work..or at home on my laptop playing some video games.

I've kinda been feeling like..my eyes have been sort of out of focus..I don't really wanna say out of focus but..I mean I can see but..it just feels strange.

I've had these episodes where...every time it happens nothing can prepare me for it..(I'll try my best to explain but it's extremely difficult) I would feel detached..?( I don't know if this is the right word..) and I guess basically feel like I'm literally

losing my mind..that this is it..I'm gonna go insane..and it's unbearable..to the point where I think i'd have to stab myself to end it.

Everytime after this attack(these attacks are extremely severe) ends....my whole body is basically trembling furiously..my heart is racing and pounding. I can't remember if I have tingling sensations in my hands but I think I do...

this sort of attack happened to me when I was in the 7th grade. That's when it all started..when I started developing mental health problems.

I guess each time I experienced these attacks they didn't last long(30secs- 5mins maybe..? i dont even know)..they were brief but left a tremendous impact on myself.

Lately though I've been feeling out of tune I guess...it's so hard to describe this because I don't exactly know how to explain what I'm going through.

I just...i feel like I'm slowly losing my sanity...I'll stare at something and just..feel like my mind can't even get it..

I don't know if this is of any relevance but also when I try to focus on something..like if I have to read I can't focus on it if other things are on..like the TV..or people talking or music is on. I used to be able to before but not anymore.

I definitely feel disconnected....

I've also had instances where I've questioned things like ''Oh was my brother really just sitting there..?''

Everyday I wonder how long i'll last..if i'll be able to remain sane.

Oh another thing I've noticed is that whenever I send text messages out I always always keep checking them wondering if i sent it out..and i'll look at the name and number..and still wonder if it got sent out or if it's real ?Like asking..myself...is that really there..? Did I really see the number and name..?

I just have a hard time making out what I'm feeling or what my symptoms are..I'm sorry :x

Could someone please offer any insight they may have to offer?

>.< I'm extremely scared....

I just feel like theres no hope for me and that i'll never be able to explain what I'm going through accurately enough.

I just can't find the words to describe it.

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Welcome aboard!

Unfortunately, we can't diagnose you here on this site. My advice would be to print out your post and give it to your doctor. For sure it does sound like your original diagnoses that you have already received are accurate. Are you taking any medication?

It's interesting to note that your problems began in the 7th grade. Mine too started then.

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Welcome aboard!

Unfortunately, we can't diagnose you here on this site. My advice would be to print out your post and give it to your doctor. For sure it does sound like your original diagnoses that you have already received are accurate. Are you taking any medication?

It's interesting to note that your problems began in the 7th grade. Mine too started then.

No..no medication at all.

>.< I know you can't diagnose me here on the website I just wanted a little bit of clarity I guess..or to feel like I wasn't alone..

I feel so alone in this.

And I think I definitely feel the whole..disconnected thing where like if I'm playing a game..like I know I'm playing a game but its more like..doing it without thinking and..feels like I'm not completely connected to it..maybe sorta like watching..I dunno. It's weird >.<

I've been feeling like this generally with anything and everything.

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I'm sorry, this sounds really scary. I've had times when I felt like that myself, so I do understand you.

I agree with jt07 though, print this post out and show it to your pdoc. Maybe you can be put on some sort of medication that will help you with your confusion. OCD can to strange things to your brain...

You've come to the right place for support, you really are not alone. I'm glad you decided to talk about it. I hope you'll be feeling a bit better soon.

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Guest Vapourware

Hai there, welcome to the boards.

I'm not entirely knowledgeable on OCD, but I wonder if your problems are stemming from the disorder. Some of your thoughts seem reminiscent of the type of rumination that occurs within OCD, i.e. wondering the "what if?" scenarios and thinking that you are losing your sanity. OCD can drive people with the condition to breaking point, so I think it might also be a good idea to show your doctor what you have written and see if medication might be appropriate as a first step to stopping these thoughts.

Are you also in therapy? Therapy is very helpful if you have OCD and anxiety disorders. You may benefit from CBT, for instance.

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I'm sorry, this sounds really scary. I've had times when I felt like that myself, so I do understand you.

I agree with jt07 though, print this post out and show it to your pdoc. Maybe you can be put on some sort of medication that will help you with your confusion. OCD can to strange things to your brain...

You've come to the right place for support, you really are not alone. I'm glad you decided to talk about it. I hope you'll be feeling a bit better soon.

Thank you for your support ^_^ and yes I think that is a good idea.

I guess I just wanted to know if other people were experiencing the same thing as me. I've never really talked about this online or offline so I've always felt extremely alone.

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Hai there, welcome to the boards.

I'm not entirely knowledgeable on OCD, but I wonder if your problems are stemming from the disorder. Some of your thoughts seem reminiscent of the type of rumination that occurs within OCD, i.e. wondering the "what if?" scenarios and thinking that you are losing your sanity. OCD can drive people with the condition to breaking point, so I think it might also be a good idea to show your doctor what you have written and see if medication might be appropriate as a first step to stopping these thoughts.

Are you also in therapy? Therapy is very helpful if you have OCD and anxiety disorders. You may benefit from CBT, for instance.

I was wondering about that too but I don't think it's stemming from my OCD.

But yeah um I've seen like a counselor but she wasn't very helpful. It was more like one of those ''talk it out'' sessions. It really didn't help me whatsoever. She didn't understand a lot of things so yeah.

But yeah..xD thanks for welcoming me to the boards and taking time to respond to my post. :)

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Guest Vapourware

I don't think "talk it out" therapy is helpful for issues like OCD. I think CBT is one of the therapies that is commonly used to treat OCD, because it challenges the thought processes behind OCD. It's also helpful for other conditions like anxiety [which you also have] so you may also find it of benefit there.

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Are you seeing a pdoc? Who gave you your diagnoses?

What you're describing could be stemming from a lot of things. As Vape said, the ruminations could be coming from the OCD, in a pure O kind of way. But there are other possibilities as well.

The, "attacks," you describe could be panic attacks, could be dissociation, could be a neurological issue, or some other health issue entirely.

The overall disconnected feelng could Be a dissociative thing, or maybe a mood thing, or, again, something else entirely.

Someone suggestd you print out your original post and take it to your doctor. I think that's an excellent idea.

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There are some threads on here about panic attacks as well as derealization/depersonalization.

Take a look at those.

But more importantly, describe these symptoms to your therapist even if you need to print out what you just posted.

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lostlonelyboy, you're not the only one who's had experiences like that. I've had some depersonalization experiences (particularly shortly after the incident that gave me PTSD) and they felt pretty much exactly how you're describing.

I also have this thing going on with my depression where I feel like I have to force myself to do anything, and that really puts everything I could feel behind glass, if that makes sense.

Note that I am not saying what you're experiencing is PTSD or depression. You need to get yourself to a psychiatrist and therapist, ideally in combination, post haste.

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You definitely need to see a pdoc. They are the experts in this kind of shit.

Though from my fairly limited understanding the experiences that you describe could well be anxiety related. I believe the feelings that you mention are quite common.

But (and I hope that this reassures you a little) thinking that you are losing your grip on reality is completely different from actually losing your grip on reality.

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I don't think "talk it out" therapy is helpful for issues like OCD. I think CBT is one of the therapies that is commonly used to treat OCD, because it challenges the thought processes behind OCD. It's also helpful for other conditions like anxiety [which you also have] so you may also find it of benefit there.

Yeah I agree..I wanted to pull away from her but I tend to easily get attached to people and inside I felt bad for wanting to like end the sessions >.< but yeah, thanks :)

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