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I hope you can help...

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Hi everybody, I'm male, 18 and I cut.

No-one I know in real life knows that I SI.

My BFF and my ex (we're on good terms) both cut and I've been able to give them support when they're having issues but I'm secretive in a bad way so I've never been able to tell them.

Lately I've been able to stop myself cutting(I've been scar free for about a month now) but I feel the need more keenly with each day;

My Dad is leaving on a four day business trip this week so I'll have the house all to myself for hours on end.... =[

Should I tell someone?

I feel like if I tell either my BFF or ex now when things have calmed down in their lives I'll be hurting them and bringing up all that shit again.

The little part of me that wants this screaming and tearing at the walls,

I'm scared of what I might do.


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Maybe avoiding being alone as much as possible would help. You'd only cut when you're by yourself. Keeping busy as much as possible. I don't think telling your friend would hurt. It might help since they'll know what you're going through. You could call them when you're feeling bad and craving. I'd tell someone. But only someone else who cuts. It's something that someone who hasn't/doesn't just won't understand, IMO. Anyway, hang in there buddy :) I'm 20, male and used to cut when I was about 15-16. I knew a lot of people at school who self-injured. It seemed pretty common. Do you work out? Exercise could be a good diversion and alternative stress-relief.

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i wouldn't think focusing on helping you would hurt them in any way. i tend to get lost in fixing other peoples problems for/with them as a way to ignore/forget my own. it may not be the best coping mechanism, but it certainly doesnt hurt me when im trying to help others. i can't say for sure this is how your ex or BFF will react to it, but if you dont have a therapist you could talk to, its better that you talk to somebody. and definitely avoid aloneness. if you dont want to tell anyone, at least maybe invite someone for a week-long sleepover! or stay at their house. use it as a excuse to spend some quality time with a friend, while keeping yourself in check and with company.

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Hi there -

First of all, congratulations on making it a month. That's a big deal, and no matter what happens now, nothing can take that accomplishment away from you. And if you have the strength to do that, you have the strength to keep going.

Friendships can be tricky - in some ways, it helps that your friends have experience with cutting, because they are less likely to judge you. But I can understand the worry about overburdening them. But you won't know unless you try. If it's too much or too triggering for them, it's their responsibility to let you know. And if you have been a support for them in the past, you have every right to expect that support back in return. Perhaps you could feel it out by asking them how they would feel about supporting you or by hearing about your experiences? In any relationship, there is room for negotiation, and trying things out and then modifying if they don't work.

Do you have a therapist or anyone else you can check in with? Sometimes it helps to have a professional around, because they have lots of experience in the best way to support people going through this. I would also suggest that you check out the lists of alternatives to self-harm that we have pinned in this sub-forum and try some of them out. Some may be helpful and some not, but the only way to find out is to try, and if it helps you put off self-harm even for a few minutes, then that's a positive thing.

Keep us posted on how you're doing.


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