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Paranoia


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We went to the grocery store this afternoon. I was walking with my family when I suddenly started sweating and feeling that others were looking at me strangely. We had the kids with us and I was so afraid that I was going to scare them, and I was able to hold it together while we were shopping. We paid and walked toward the car and it started getting really bad. When people would walk past us, I was so scared that they were going to turn around behind me and stab or shoot me. I started freaking out a little bit but was still ok.

When we got to the car and we were putting the groceries in, I was convinced the cars driving by in the parking lot were going to shoot me. I wasn't worried for my family for some reason, I thought the people were just after me. A car drove by and I could have sworn it was coming right for us to kill me. I jumped in the car and started sobbing. The kids, luckily, were oblivious to all of this because they were at the other side of the car. I was just crying a little when they got in and they didn't notice. By then, I'd gotten myself together enough to realize this wasn't really happening, no one was trying to hurt me. I started wondering, why it was that I was so scared for myself and not my kids or husband. That concerned me.

I'm not really sure how to deal with this or if it will even happen again. Is this a bipolar thingor something else?It seems like I've read that mania can cause paranoia, but now I can't find it. I've had a sort of paranoia before, but nothing as scary as this. And now I'm fine, like it never even happened.

I want to say, I don't know what I would do without the support/knowledge the people on this board have given me in the past couple of days. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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I have major paranoia if I don't take my zyprexa and the thoughts are always about me. I try to calm myself down by remembering that I would be concerned about everyone if some of these situations were actually happening. It's good that you were able to hang on to the reality of your children and husband.

If I start believing that the people I love are after me also, that's when I need to tweak my meds.

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