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this damn clozaril has made me so bloated i hate it. im so embaressed to take off my shirt. only in the guys gym locker room am i in company of other chubby men such as myself. but excercizing doesn't help. neither does eating right. right now we're in the slow, slow process of getting me off it. we're all worried that my suicidal thoughts will come back in full force once im off it ....i think i told my story but anyways it was ECT (only 20 years old getting ECT done...) and clozaril that stopped it. so my choices are continue to be fat, and have to pee every other second or become suicidal? mostly im sad about the weight gain. i could deal with the peeing thing. anyone else on this?

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this damn clozaril has made me so bloated i hate it. im so embaressed to take off my shirt. only in the guys gym locker room am i in company of other chubby men such as myself. but excercizing doesn't help. neither does eating right. right now we're in the slow, slow process of getting me off it. we're all worried that my suicidal thoughts will come back in full force once im off it ....i think i told my story but anyways it was ECT (only 20 years old getting ECT done...) and clozaril that stopped it. so my choices are continue to be fat, and have to pee every other second or become suicidal? mostly im sad about the weight gain. i could deal with the peeing thing. anyone else on this?

There is almost always a tradeoff when it comes to taking meds. Very few people get zero side effects.

I believe you have mentioned how much clozaril has helped you. You can try to manage your weight. It's difficult, can take a while, and, no, you might not be as thin as you were before starting clozaril or this whole process in general. If you go off of the clozaril, though, become suicidal again and then kill yourself, will it really matter if your parents bury you weighing a few pounds less? Think about it.

What does any of this have to do with the title of your post: "no girl can want me." I don't exactly know from what direction you are coming from with that, but, to be perfectly honest, you are probably not even stable enough for a relationship anyway.

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A lot of people gain weight with medication. I did when I was 15. I gained 40 lbs. in about a month. But I started dieting and lost the weight. Didn't work at first but with perseverance it did.

If it helps, I also had ECT done at age 20. Nothing to feel bad about, it is what it is. I've met many people in psych. hospitals that had ECT done at a young age.

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There are meds that can be used to combat med-induced weight gain. Topamax and Wellbutrin come to mind, as well as some stimulants. Now I don't know if any of these are compatible with your other meds or with your diagnosis, but there are always options available. Talk to your doctor about this, and mention that you are becoming depressed over the weight gain.

As far as ECT goes, there really isn't an age range for it. I has saved lives, and if I had to choose between ECT and death, I would choose the ECT.

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What are you actually trying to ask in your post?

I've found that there are lots of people out there who don't really care about looks in their partner, but they will care if their partner is batshit and unstable. So, I guess you have to weigh that up.

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My fella, Smooth, had chemotherapy for cancer and he never got his hair back in the same way it was. I met him after his treatment and his lack of hair on top never bothers me, in fact when I see it I think of how hard he fought and how exceptionally brave he is. It's likely that you will meet a quality woman who feels that way about your figure. I carry extra weight due to my meds, and Smooth never makes it an issue. When you fall for someone, sometimes their flaws don't figure in that!

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You might want to think about topamax. I've gained 50 pounds twice in my life (from meds) and each time I was put on topamax and not only did i lose the weight but I also became wayy more stable. I've also had ECT done and I'm only 20, I mean- hey, if it works... And as a girl, I'd have to say that physical attractiveness is nice but it isn't the be all end all. I'm sure you have way more important and attractive features than your weight. Chin up! :)

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this damn clozaril has made me so bloated i hate it. im so embaressed to take off my shirt. only in the guys gym locker room am i in company of other chubby men such as myself. but excercizing doesn't help. neither does eating right. right now we're in the slow, slow process of getting me off it. we're all worried that my suicidal thoughts will come back in full force once im off it ....i think i told my story but anyways it was ECT (only 20 years old getting ECT done...) and clozaril that stopped it. so my choices are continue to be fat, and have to pee every other second or become suicidal? mostly im sad about the weight gain. i could deal with the peeing thing. anyone else on this?

There is almost always a tradeoff when it comes to taking meds. Very few people get zero side effects.

I believe you have mentioned how much clozaril has helped you. You can try to manage your weight. It's difficult, can take a while, and, no, you might not be as thin as you were before starting clozaril or this whole process in general. If you go off of the clozaril, though, become suicidal again and then kill yourself, will it really matter if your parents bury you weighing a few pounds less? Think about it.

What does any of this have to do with the title of your post: "no girl can want me." I don't exactly know from what direction you are coming from with that, but, to be perfectly honest, you are probably not even stable enough for a relationship anyway.

i was just saying im too fat and no girl would be attracted to me...

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A lot of people gain weight with medication. I did when I was 15. I gained 40 lbs. in about a month. But I started dieting and lost the weight. Didn't work at first but with perseverance it did.

If it helps, I also had ECT done at age 20. Nothing to feel bad about, it is what it is. I've met many people in psych. hospitals that had ECT done at a young age.

really? i try not to talk about it im almost ashamed...but it did help me alot. thankfully no brain damage

What are you actually trying to ask in your post?

I've found that there are lots of people out there who don't really care about looks in their partner, but they will care if their partner is batshit and unstable. So, I guess you have to weigh that up.

well im basically complaining lol

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My fella, Smooth, had chemotherapy for cancer and he never got his hair back in the same way it was. I met him after his treatment and his lack of hair on top never bothers me, in fact when I see it I think of how hard he fought and how exceptionally brave he is. It's likely that you will meet a quality woman who feels that way about your figure. I carry extra weight due to my meds, and Smooth never makes it an issue. When you fall for someone, sometimes their flaws don't figure in that!

reading that made me so happy! maybe i will find a girl that isn't...i dunno shallow. ive been beaten and bruised though so im kinda apprehensive to go looking for a girl...

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You might want to think about topamax. I've gained 50 pounds twice in my life (from meds) and each time I was put on topamax and not only did i lose the weight but I also became wayy more stable. I've also had ECT done and I'm only 20, I mean- hey, if it works... And as a girl, I'd have to say that physical attractiveness is nice but it isn't the be all end all. I'm sure you have way more important and attractive features than your weight. Chin up! :)

thank you! :)

i noticed that meds like ritalin and vyvanse curb my appetite...and i do have adhd but they are nervous about putting me on it for fear i might have some crazy reaction. i was on it all of middle school i was fine AND got good grades lol

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i think it's fair to look at meds for side effects that are truly bothersome to you but that you need for life/heath, etc. for example, i convinced my doc to put me on metformin to counter aap induced weight gain. there are also other options. if your doc is worried about adhd meds, maybe he/she would consider some other options?

i know how frustrating it is to gain weight from meds and other side effects, but i also know my husband would rather have me stable and sane than the thinnest i've ever been.

Anna

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oh i forgot the other side effect, the sedation is so bad i can't wake up before 12pm. thats like a quarter of my day, BAM gone.

I have been gone from this site for more than half of a year, yet I remember you bringing up this very topic several times. Sure, it seems that you can't keep a constant tab on what time you "can't wake up before," but the theme remains the same.

Here are some examples (including this one... for effect... and because I don't feel like reading further back in the posts):

"Clozaril users..."

does this make anyone else have a hard time waking up? i honestly can't wake up at all before 11, and stay up. its by far the worst side effect.

"cursed medication"

i've gained so much weight the months following starting clozaril(not to mention not being able to wake up before 1 pm). but...clozaril has helped so much of my depression! and some of my illogical thoughts. is there anything that works as good as it?

[Just as a little side note, do you notice the timestamp on that post? It was written at 3 a.m.]

"no girl can want me"

oh i forgot the other side effect, the sedation is so bad i can't wake up before 12pm. thats like a quarter of my day, BAM gone.

Now, I'm pretty sure I had to refer you back to my response before, although I do not remember whether it was in a post, blog or chat, but I shall do it again. Please review THIS thread again where a number of us discussed with you in simple mathematics, the number of hours you were getting a night. Here is my answer again:

does this make anyone else have a hard time waking up? i honestly can't wake up at all before 11, and stay up. its by far the worst side effect. it even cost me my job! i've tried spacing out the times i take it, like taking more during the day, but nothing. what helps you guys?

What time do you fall asleep at?

usually 2 am

I think that's your answer.

Obviously you are one of those people who needs sleep and can't do without it. Someone like me, I might not sleep for days on end, or go to sleep at 4 a.m. and have to wake up for work at 6 a.m. That doesn't mean I'm not tired, but it means that I know I have shit that must get done.

If you are going to sleep at 2 a.m. and not waking up "before 11," that isn't because the Clozaril is making it hard for you to wake up, but because you are going to sleep at 2 in the morning. Going to sleep at 2 and waking up at 11 is giving you 9 hours of sleep, so, yeah...

So you wake up at 11 a.m., then stay up until 2 a.m. because, well, it is almost the afternoon by the time you woke up... it isn't a side effect of Clozaril that "cost [you your] job," it's the initial going to sleep at around 2 a.m. that "cost [you your] job."

Yes, medications have side effects, but not always is the *medication* purely to blame. Several of us discussed this very fact in this very thread almost a year ago. Think about it. There are adjustments you can make to your sleeping habits (and other things) that can help with the problem... you can take control over yourself instead of just letting all of your meds and med side effects have control over you.

It's not always the pill's fault and a pill isn't always going to fix it.

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news flash - there are a lot of chubby (fat) people falling in love, having sex, and getting married.

That said, it would be much harder to accept medication weight gain at your young age, then when one is middle aged. So I get it that you are self conscious.

You know, certainly new medications are in developement, new treatments. Maybe you need the big Clozaril right now to keep you alive and with us but at some point you could be on a different med.

Also, have you tried weight watchers?? It might help you lost weight and the meetings are FULL of young women. So that might be good too.

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Also, have you tried weight watchers?? It might help you lost weight and the meetings are FULL of young women. So that might be good too.

Good idea!

And if you don't want to start off with the social interaction, you can do it online with online tools and message boards... then maybe graduate to going to some meetings to scope out the ladies.

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weight watchers isn't that where you eat food that has points and you can only eat a certain amount of points? how would i meet people? anyways i have a pretty good diet and work out 3 to 4 times a week. today i went on a mile and a half run. i love pushing myself...maybe even punishing myself...lol just kiddin. i know ive said this before but well like bpladybug said im young. ya know im not gonna be 22 forever i want to enjoy it. maybe try to get a six pack some day (i like excersizing lol) not that im superficial i just feel better when i look better. even guys that are super skinniy don't have man boobs like me. I HATE IT!!!!!!! i envy them.

oh and im slowly turning back my going to bed clock it used to be 3 am now its like 1 30 am.

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I'm over 300 pounds, have been in a relationship for over ten years, and still have fairly regular sex.

Here's the deal:

Your shit attitude is doing you in. I know it sounds cliche, but you've got to love yourself before you can love anyone else and before anyone healthy will love you. It doesn't matter what you weigh. If your personality and attitude suck, you're not going to get anywhere with anyone.

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