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Is this indicative of depression?


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I find it hard to even spend time with my kids because I don't have the mental energy. I try so, so hard because I know they need my attention. I have to ask my parents to spend time with them (not that they complain) so that they don't feel neglected. I feel so awful for this.

Also, I cannot clean the house. It's not just laziness. I try to and I can't, I don't know why. It desparately needs to be done and I can't stand a mess.

Are these symptoms of depression? I've been like this for years and always chalked it up to laziness. But when I think about it, I realize I love my kids and would never make them feel like I don't want to be around them.

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yes, those sound like they could be related to depression.

it could be other things as well-- physical diagnoses as well as other MH diagnoses.

it's important you discuss these with both your psychiatrist and therapist and also make sure you get a clean bill of health from your GP.

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I find it hard to even spend time with my kids because I don't have the mental energy. I try so, so hard because I know they need my attention. I have to ask my parents to spend time with them (not that they complain) so that they don't feel neglected. I feel so awful for this.

Also, I cannot clean the house. It's not just laziness. I try to and I can't, I don't know why. It desparately needs to be done and I can't stand a mess.

Are these symptoms of depression? I've been like this for years and always chalked it up to laziness. But when I think about it, I realize I love my kids and would never make them feel like I don't want to be around them.

It could be consistent with depression, or it may be something else. Your pdoc needs to tease out what is going on.

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I agree with the others that you sound like you're depressed, but I would also ask if you are seeing a therapist. These are issues that a good tdoc could examine with you. I would also question the medications you are taking and request a med change.

You don't have to go through life like this. When functioning day to day is like wading through molasses, you have to do something to change the situation, or take appropriate action (e.g. therapy and drugs).

Good luck and I hope you can get some help from your medical team.

olga

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Thank you all. I am seeing a tdoc and I've told her about this, but we've been working on other things, her suggestion. I think I need to bring it up again because the kids need to be my priority. I have just been re-dx'd w/ bipolar disorder. I'm not sure why it took so long because I've had obvious manic episodes. My last one was 5 years ago, and since then I've been depressed almost constantly.

I've been in therapy since I was 13 (25 now) and nothing has seemed to work. I've had ECT and have tried numerous meds. On your suggestions, I'm going to the dr. tomorrow to get some blood work done. Thank you so much. My brother has Celiac Disease so I'm being tested for that as well.

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Since Dusk has indicated that the dx is Bipolar, I've shifted this thread here to the Bipolar forum. Bipolar depression and unipolar depression (MDD) have significant differences in diagnosis and treatment modalities, and the perspective of other Bipolar friends here may be useful.

As you were...

Cerberus

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Those things do sound like they could be related to depression. But your having had these issues for years makes me wonder, just because of your bp dx. Has this stuff been consistent during hypo/manic episodes as well?

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Thanks, Cerberus. Good point.

SashaSue, I lived with my parents during all of my manic episodes and they helped take care of my son and did most of the cleaning, so I'm not sure if I would have cleaned or not. Probably so. The mania has always revolved around sex and I had boundless energy in order to find it. I also had energy to spend quality time with my son (had my daughter later). I've had 3 or 4 episodes of that.

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I have issues with cleaning and engaging with my children - but they are older (13 and 10), so we can have conversations when mom is laying down on the couch. The cleaning - I do the major stuff like pick up and clean the kitchen and cook and do dishes and dust (don't use a white glove in my house), but the major stuff gets left undone. My mirrors and windows and streaks, spots, and smudges on them because I never buy paper towels to clean them with. My shower had a partial cleaning before I ran out of cleaner. And my baseboards with need a scrub brush to clear away the accumulated dust.

Of course I feel like a lazy piece of turd because of this. But I do what I can, when I can, with what I've got - just like Teddy Roosevelt. And I think my kids think of me as a good mom who listens to them, is patient with them, and makes sure they know how much I love them.

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Gizmo, that's my goal. I want to get to where I can do the basics. I won't even let my parents come in my house. I don't do the dishes, vaccuum, I cook rarely. All of that is on my husband and it usually gets pretty bad when he works late for several days. Not like it needs to be condemned or something, but bad enough to where I won't let anyone come in. I do make sure my kids get nutritious foods even though it's not anything that takes much effort, that's the one thing I can do. It's so embarrassing, and I don't know why I'm like that. I know it needs to be done and I want it done, I just can't get out of bed or off the couch to do it.

I talked to my husband about this yesterday. He reassured me that the kids are happy. I talk to them about their day, etc. They know I'm interested and that I love them and it helps so much that my parents can help me. But I don't want to do the minimum.

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Dusk -

In answer to your original question - does what you describe sound like depression - the lack of energy and the lack of interest in something that used to motivate you (keeping your house clean) are indeed among symptoms listed for depression. But a depression diagnosis relies on a number of other different symptoms occurring at the same time, and over a sustained duration. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual IV (DSM-IV) specifically rules out Major Depressive Disorder (unipolar depression) in patients who are diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. Below, I've included a condensed breakdown drawn from the DSM-IV's description of Depressive Episodes in Bipolar Disorder. If you would like to read the original source I pulled from, click here.

Overwhelming mental and physical fatigue do not, in the absence of other symptoms, necessarily mean depression of any sort. What is your sleep like? Do you snore? Obstructive sleep apnea can also cause the kind of exhaustion you're describing by robbing you of quality sleep, even if you think you're managing to get forty winks. I'm having a similar problem with exhaustion, and my physician had me take a sleep study. The study discovered that (for various reasons including apnea) I get 0.2% of my sleep as REM sleep, or 1/100th of what the average human gets and needs. If the description below of depression in biplolar doesn't seem to fit you, you might look in this direction.

Cerberus

DSM-IV: Depressive Episodes in Biplodar Disorder

The depressive episodes seen in bipolar disorder, in contrast to those typically seen in a major depression, tend to come on fairly acutely, over perhaps a few weeks, and often occur without any significant precipitating factors. On the average, untreated, these bipolar depressions tend to last about a half year. Mood is depressed and often irritable. The patients are discontented and fault-finding and may even come to loathe not only themselves but also everyone around them. Energy is lacking; patients may feel apathetic or at times weighted down.

Thought becomes sluggish and slow. Patients cannot concentrate to read and cannot remember what they do read. Comprehending alternatives and bringing themselves to decisions may be impossible.

Patients may lose interest in life; things appear dull and heavy and have no attraction.

Many patients feel a greatly increased need for sleep. Some may succumb and sleep 10, 14, or 18 hours a day. Yet no matter how much sleep they get, they awake exhausted, as if they had not slept at all.

Appetite may also be increased and weight gain may occur.

The patient may lie in bed or sit in the chair for hours, perhaps all day, profoundly apathetic and scarcely moving at all. Speech is rare; if a sentence is begun, it may die in the speaking of it, as if the patient had not the energy to bring it to conclusion. At times the facial expression may become tense and pained, as if the patient were under some great inner constraint.

Pessimism and bleak despair permeate these patients’ outlooks. Guilt abounds, and on surveying their lives patients find themselves the worst of failures, the greatest of sinners. Effort appears futile, and enterprises begun in the past may be abandoned. They may have recurrent thoughts of suicide, and impulsive suicide attempts may occur. Delusions of guilt and of well-deserved punishment and persecution are common. Hallucinations may also appear.

In general a depressive episode in bipolar disorder subsides gradually. Occasionally, however, it may come to an abrupt termination. In such cases, a manic episode is likely to soon follow.

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Thank you for posting that. That sounds almost exactly like me. The only difference I see is the lack of talking. Sometimes during the day, I talk and talk. But other times I feel like nothing is worth anything. I can't move, don't want to talk, cry for seemingly no reason, can't read, etc. My husband has been making me get out and do things, but when I'm left alone and my kids are with my parents, I usually get around 16 hours every day/night.

I don't know why I can talk a lot and then the same day feel like I can't live anymore. Even when I'm in a talking mood, I still am thinking about suicide. That's been a constant for weeks now. My dr.'s know, but I guess when it's been so long and you haven't acted on a plan, they think you're not serious. I don't know if that's bipolar or not. I definitely am seriously depressed right now.

I have started snoring, but that's just been in the past few months. I gained 100 lbs. in a year a few years ago, so I've been heavy but still didn't snore. In th past few months, I've gained another 30 lbs. and that's when I started snoring.

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Even when I'm in a talking mood, I still am thinking about suicide. That's been a constant for weeks now. My dr.'s know, but I guess when it's been so long and you haven't acted on a plan, they think you're not serious. I don't know if that's bipolar or not. I definitely am seriously depressed right now.

Again, with a diagnosis of Bipolar Disorder, you cannot be subject to Major Depressive Disorder. Think of it this way: You can't ride a bicycle and a unicycle at the same time (actually, I can't ride a unicycle at all, but I have MDD just fine :brooding: ). Anyway, suicidal ideation is always serious, and I urge you to stress these thoughts and feelings when you next meet with your doctors. If you are having suicidal thoughts, your medications and/or therapy are not having the desired effect. As you can see from the criteria listed, suicidal ideation is one of the red flags that a tdoc or a pdoc looks for in making a determination whether you're in a Depressive Episode. It certainly sounds like it, but I am in no way qualified to diagnose you. I am, however, highly qualified to commiserate, as I usually spend at least one day a week superglued to my couch while the mold grows another layer thick in the house.

I have started snoring, but that's just been in the past few months. I gained 100 lbs. in a year a few years ago, so I've been heavy but still didn't snore. In th past few months, I've gained another 30 lbs. and that's when I started snoring.

Depression and apnea are not mutually exclusive, and the latter can worsen the former, because the less quality sleep you get, the more depressed you're likely to become. Note that I say quality sleep - you write that you sometimes will sleep for 16 hours, but I'll wager that your sleep isn't restful or rejuvenating. The binge-sleeping can certainly be the hypersomnia referred to in descriptions of Bipolar depression, and the weight gain is apparently not uncommon either. It's not a recipe for good sleep, though, because the first thing that a sleep specialist will say to do for someone suffering from apnea is to lose weight. Don't you just love these little Catch-22s our MI likes to fling at us?

Definitely tell your docs about the suicidal thinking. That's a bad thing.

Cerberus

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Thank you all. I am seeing a tdoc and I've told her about this, but we've been working on other things, her suggestion. I think I need to bring it up again because the kids need to be my priority. I have just been re-dx'd w/ bipolar disorder. I'm not sure why it took so long because I've had obvious manic episodes.

You mention a tdoc, but are you seeing a pdoc? Who gave you the re-dx of bipolar? Your symptoms definitely sound like my depression symptoms, and my dx was changed a couple of years ago from MDD recurrent to BP II.

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I'm also seeing a pdoc. She's the one that re-dx'd me to bipolar I. My mom talked me into going to church today. I haven't been to Mass in 2 months. I used to really enjoy it and was involved in a couple of church groups. Now I don't even want to.

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I went through years of suicide ideation off and on again and again except one thing I could hide it I always had some outside stimuli that would flip the switch back to stable or hypo mania and that was completely random so I am wondering if you could put your self in place or situation that you wouldn't normally be in to get that stress or possibly positive response then maybe you could find out whether your MDD or BP and by the way suicide ideation will one day turn into suicide reality I did find that out any way what I'm trying to say is you are in your comfort zone and you may need to get out of it.

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