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OK, so I'm not really new, but I haven't been on here since the end of 2005, so I felt a new introduction was in order.

I've lived with depression for the past 14 years, and still haven't gotten stable. It comes and goes with no seeming rhyme or reason. In 2009 I lost my senses and proceeded to be extremely promiscuous and unfaithful to my husband. The whole time it seemed as if I was watching all of this happen on TV, like I wasn't really the one doing it. I kept doing these things long after I had tired of them, and it took my husband finding out for me to stop. I don't know if it was a manic episode or not...promiscuity was my only symptom. I then spiraled way way down into deep depression, and had very serious thoughts of suicide. I managed (somehow) to pull myself up out of it...all my GP gave me was trazodone at that point, though. I couldn't get in with a tdoc or pdoc for months and months, and finally gave up until now. I have an appointment next week with a tdoc and I'm looking forward to it SO MUCH. I feel like I have so much crazy inside me that I'm going to blow the roof off of this place.

Other issues I have: I'm almost positive I have inattentive ADHD, and have since childhood. This may be worsening my depression symptoms. I also had a brain MRI about 6 weeks ago due to cognitive dysfunction and tremors in my hands, among other things, and it showed inactive lesions in my frontal lobes. I was referred to a neurologist, who ran some more bloodwork, which indicates I have something autoimmune (elevated sed rate and positive ANA). Add to that stress the fact that my husband is losing his job (he works for Borders, which is liquidating), and I seriously feel like I'm going to explode. Derealization which has been on-and-off for me since 2005 is increasing, and I just feel all different shades of fucked-up. Oh, and I've seemingly started having migraines as well.

So, that's me in a nutshell ("No, *this* is me in a nutshell!"). I'm happy to be back here on CB and hope to find support as well as possibly be able to give support to others.

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I'm glad you came to see us again. This is the New & Improved Crazyboards---we now have blogs and a chat room. Both are very easy to use, so let us know if you have any difficulties.

I think it's a good idea to see a tdoc. GPs have their uses, but they don't all know a whole lot about psych meds. I hope the therapist can work with you and improve your quality of life. Maybe she can refer you to a psychiatrist to get an expert opinion on your meds.

Contact one of the staff if you have any questions.

olga

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I should clarify...I'm seeing the tdoc because the clinic won't let you schedule appointments with both tdoc and pdoc at the same time, so I'm seeing the tdoc first in the hopes of getting in with a pdoc sooner. My GP is an idiot, and I don't want her fucking with my meds anymore.

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