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I want to re-format my brain!


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I just feel like this is all too much for me. I want OUT. Out of this depression, out of this situation... out of my ADHD.

I really want to get well soon... but when I look at where I am right now, I just feel like my life is such a BIG mess that I wish I can just reset the game!

I feel like there are too much going on, too many wounds, too many complications... and it feels like it's going to take forever to fix me.

I just wish that there was some way that I can just hit a BUTTON and RE-FORMAT my brain!!!

Back to when I was this promising kid who would succeed in life... back to when I had dreams and saw it possible to achieve them.

Back to when I believed in myself and believed that life is good.

My every attempt to be cheerful is zapped by what seems to be dementors sucking the very life out of me.

I know I need to be patient... but I'm sooo tired.

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Looking at one's MI life from a years-long or forever perspective is bound to be negative and upsetting. I would try to avoid that. I Like what Stacia said. focus on what you can achieve this hour of this day and try not to think beyond that.

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My pdoc doesn't want to give me meds for adhd yet, he wants to cure the depression first. But I was able to hear some advises from the peeps here and they said that it could help if I take something for my adhd. I will mention that when I see my pdoc about a 2weeks from now.

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I totally understand where you're coming from. There are many times that I wish I could go back in time to when the depression wasn't so bad or the borderline traits were less ingrained.

Things will most likely look MUCH better when you get on the right meds. What are you taking right now, and how long have you been taking it for?

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  • 3 years later...

Dear Evenstar,

 

Don't you worry,  you are not alone, and please don't do anything stupid that could endanger your life. Quick Remedy:

 

  1. Get a fiend who accepts who you are and take cares of you.
  2. Stop taking medicines , don't always go to the doctor ( money eaters) , they will take advantage of your situation and  prescribe all sorts of expensive medical prescriptions , you need only a good friend.
  3. close your eyes , take few steps back, place your hand onto your heart and look into your soul and find whats missing .(CREDITS to Toastmasters International)

This is Arun Mathai Signing off,

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Stop taking medicines , don't always go to the doctor ( money eaters) , they will take advantage of your situation and prescribe all sorts of expensive medical prescriptions , you need only a good friend.

Arun Mathai: This is a pro-treatment site meaning we encourage the use of medications and therapies. It is very dangerous to advise someone to go off their meds.

Evenstar: I have BPII but mostly experience severe depressions. I've taken Adderall and now take Vyvanse. Both have served as a "mood brightener". As for a start over button, you could do this symbolically. Don't give up if you have set backs, just keep plowing forward the best you can.

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Mr Mathai, I'd be dead without pharma, either suicide or asthma.

...But I do have a *fiend* who loves and accepts me... My awesome fiancée :P

I also have found what I am missing inside...my alters aren't missing now.

Some of us really just do need gub'mint pills, or we go painfully berserk. It took me a good decade to accept I needed to be on meds permanently.

post-10142-0-35347600-1408375087.jpg

...this thread dates from 2011... Just sayin'...

Edited by Stickler
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Dear Evenstar,

 

Don't you worry,  you are not alone, and please don't do anything stupid that could endanger your life. Quick Remedy:

 

  1. Get a fiend who accepts who you are and take cares of you.
  2. Stop taking medicines , don't always go to the doctor ( money eaters) , they will take advantage of your situation and  prescribe all sorts of expensive medical prescriptions , you need only a good friend.
  3. close your eyes , take few steps back, place your hand onto your heart and look into your soul and find whats missing .(CREDITS to Toastmasters International)

This is Arun Mathai Signing off,

 

Wildjack, I will politely ask you to go fuck yourself.  This is reckless advice for someone with serious mental illness.  I recently had a friend with bipolar commit suicide... he was well loved and had many close friends.  Many more than I ever had.  That alone is not enough to save a person. 

 

My own doctor prescribes meds that are very inexpensive generics and for the ones that aren't she's provided me free samples until I could safely taper off.  She's been very considerate of my financial situation.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Dear Evenstar,

 

Don't you worry,  you are not alone, and please don't do anything stupid that could endanger your life. Quick Remedy:

 

  1. Get a fiend who accepts who you are and take cares of you.
  2. Stop taking medicines , don't always go to the doctor ( money eaters) , they will take advantage of your situation and  prescribe all sorts of expensive medical prescriptions , you need only a good friend.
  3. close your eyes , take few steps back, place your hand onto your heart and look into your soul and find whats missing .(CREDITS to Toastmasters International)

This is Arun Mathai Signing off,

If it weren't for medication, I know that I probably would've attempted suicide. Your advice is complete and utter shit. Please don't listen to him.

 

Edited by Jesse85
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Dear Evenstar,

 

Don't you worry,  you are not alone, and please don't do anything stupid that could endanger your life. Quick Remedy:

 

  1. Get a fiend who accepts who you are and take cares of you.
  2. Stop taking medicines , don't always go to the doctor ( money eaters) , they will take advantage of your situation and  prescribe all sorts of expensive medical prescriptions , you need only a good friend.
  3. close your eyes , take few steps back, place your hand onto your heart and look into your soul and find whats missing .(CREDITS to Toastmasters International)

This is Arun Mathai Signing off,

 

Without medication I would be in a state hospital or be dead right now. 

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