Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Bus drivers suck


Northlight

Recommended Posts

So, I was very brave and left the house. I went and got meds and a rx diet for the dogs. Then, I took another bus and went to the mall and got my meds and people food. Two places in one day is a new thing for me. I made it through the mall with no panic, just increased anxiety. I made it on the skytrain with only increased anxiety. My bus ticket had expired so I went to the machine, used my debit card, and then bought a one zone pass. It is one zone from the train station to my house. Turns out in the few feet from the ticket machine to my bus I cross a fare zone. So, the bus says I have to add a fare. I don't have money for an additional fare. By this point in time I'm in full out panic mode. I ask the bus driver how someone is supposed to do this, he says that I have to go add another fare at the machine but I'm not going to be able to get on his bus since he's leaving. By this point in time I fucking well need to get home right now. I start crying and he won't let me on the bus. The person behind me says the equivalent of don't be a dick, let her on the bus it's a stupid set up. He won't let me on. He could let me on if he wanted to, my friend is a bus driver and that is totally within their discretion. Furthermore, it's company policy to not argue with people over things like that. He can look at my ticket and see that I bought it at that train station less than five minutes ago, it's all right there.

Now, I realize that I have to wait at least another half hour for another bus to come along but I still wouldn't have the correct ticket for it. No other buses go near my house. I can't afford a taxi because I spent all my money on my dog's vet visit. I was literally down to my last $2.50 when I bought that bus ticket, I have under a dollar in my account right now and nothing available on my credit card. So, I start to panic. I need to be home right this fucking minute. I have no one to call since my closest friend is nearly an hour away. I start walking home while crying and panicking and generally being a total wreck. I stop twice along the way because I'm too lightheaded to move because I'm hyperventilating. I start to gasp for breath and I'm not sure if it's asthma or if it's a panic attack so I get out my inhaler. It's fucking well empty. By this point in time I'm gasping for air, crying, shaking, and rocking back and forth. That's when the ambulance shows up.

This has always been my worst fear that I will have a panic attack in public and an ambulance will come. Surprisingly it wasn't that bad. The ambulance people were lovely and they just let me sit inside for a while while they listened to my lungs and monitored my bp and heart rate. I was up to 160 bmp and couldn't stop shaking. I just wanted to go home. The lady was so nice. She distracted me by talking about her dog and telling me funny stories. They let me sign a waiver and drove me the few blocks left to my home. I love them.

I hate the fucking bus driver. Now I'm just terrified to leave the house again. I don't know if I'll be able to walk my dogs. The balcony looks scary. I'm terrified that one of my neighbours saw the ambulance and is going to ask me what happened. I was so proud of myself and it all went to hell so quickly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to hear about that. It is horrible when our worst fears are realized. And it all started by an insensitive bus driver. I hope you realize that this was a very unlikely event, and probably would not happen again in a million years. There is some truth to the old saying that if you get thrown by a horse, you have to get right back on him and ride. In this case it means that you need to get out there and not give in to the fear.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry the bus driver sucked. Sometimes people, like grouchy bus drivers, just have no idea what it's like to experience things like that. The average person doesn't experience panic attacks and seem to have extra armor for some reason. But you can build up your "armor" a little bit- now, at least, you know that the bus system is a little fucked up. Try talking yourself through what might happen next time. You can get on the bus again, just give yourself a little time to gather yourself. Maybe research, find a bus schedule, if you are able to use the phone, call and double check your route.

I've found the best way for me to help avoid the worst panic and anxiety is to prepare and research. It's a pain in the ass, but it really helps when you know a little more of what to expect.

I realize it was impossible to know that the bus system is a little stupid this time, but at least you know now.

I'm glad the ambulance people were nice and could give you a ride home.

Sorry you had to deal with this crap, though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So, currently buses going by making me flinch to the point where it worries my dogs and caused a stranger to do a double take. I live on a bus route. During the day there is one going by every 20 minutes. I'm trying to focus on the positive things.

1. I did walk my dogs last night and this morning. Not long walks and there was a panic attack involved but I *did* walk them.

2. When I felt like I couldn't stop panicking last night and I wanted to SI I called a crisis line. I didn't do anything bad I just talked to someone until I could be calm again.

3. I don't actually ever have to take that bus again. There are two buses that go by my house, both get me to the train station. I'm only going to be living here for another few weeks and then I'll never see the asshat again. If I only travel on the weekends then I won't have to worry about fare zones at all, you can travel everywhere with a one zone ticket.

4. My fiance was unbelievably sweet when I called him about it. I worried about how he'd react but he was so caring and upset on my behalf. I am a bit worried though because he wants to complain about the bus driver and might actually fill out a report. I said not to bother but he was actually more angry and upset than I have ever heard him. Apparently me being in an ambulance is one of the few things that actually moves him out of his calm and slightly passive zone. Good to know for the future.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...