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its so embarrising...


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i have dealt with a lot, i been depressed i struggled with self injury for years and i have a ton of medical stuff wrong.

with the cutting and the depression i was able to ask for help. now im 99.999% sure i have a binge eating disorder and i cant ask for help. i feel so embarrased. I sit in my room crying for hours when im alone. I dont know what to do.

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Really? Binge eating is more embarrassing to you than hurting yourself? Come on, like "regular" people sit on their couches and each a dozen donuts in one sitting...I've heard bitches talk about it standing around the water cooler. They say things like "no judgment" first. If you can cop to cutting you can definitely cop to binge eating.

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When I wasn't eating at all, and dropping 15 lbs per month, I wasn't overly embarrassed about people noticing my disordered eating. But THIS summer, I've been binging for months straight. I'm not overweight (5'6 and 125 lbs) so no one suspects anything, but it's my secret shame. I'm not sure what to do, either. I can't seem to stop. I'm afraid that all of this sugar is going to cause health problems. I'm tired of stuffing my face, hiding food and wrappers, loathing myself...

I'm trying to find out a way to stop this without assistance because I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone about it, same as you.

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This may not help, but think of it this way: by coming on here and typing it up, you have managed to admit, both to yourself and to someone (even if you don't know them) that you have this problem.

Is there anyone in real life that you really, really trust? Alternatively, is there a support group that you could go to? I find it often helps me to confide if I don't know the people I'm speaking to well. There's also a "confessional" area here on CB. Does the issue extend to speaking to a doctor? Could you consider speaking to a different doctor to your normal doctor? That will help to make you feel like it's more private.

Also, could you write down what you're feeling and give it to someone to read? That way, you can get help, but you don't have to actually say anything. I know it doesn't get around the issue of being embarrassed, but it means that you can avoid squicky things like actually admitting it out loud.

I hope that some of that helps.

N

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I know that certain things embarrass us more than others, and with food and this society and weight, it can indeed be embarrassing. That said, there is help for this, the same as any other disorder. Trust me, if you find a provider who specializes in this issue and doesn't suck, you will NOT be judged, it's all been heard before. Hell, I'm pretty embarrassed that I have to cover my mirrors right now, but you know, it is what it is. No point making a big issue out of it. My providers know.....

Anna

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Binge eating can be embarrassing for sure. For me, it makes me feel "disgusting" in a way that cutting doesn't. I don't know why. It's a different kind of shame.

I know that it's hard to ask for help. I'm hoping that you have some sort of provider - therapist or psychiatrist - that you have asked for help about cutting and depression, that maybe you can mention this to. Trust me - they've heard EVERYTHING before. Binge eating is not that uncommon. They will have seen a lot of patients with that problem and they will be able to handle it in a professional way.

If you don't feel comfortable asking for help out loud, have you thought about writing a letter about your concerns? You could even use what you just wrote here.

Do you know what it is specifically about asking for help that is bothering you? Is there someone you might be more comfortable telling than other people?

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I agree with what everyone else has said. Though it may be hard, you will find a way to communicate this to someone that can help you. The idea someone had to write it down is great-- I do that when my brain is so squirrelly I'm embarrassed to admit some of it.

As for binge eating-- been there, done that. It is something you can overcome, and getting help makes it a whole lot easier. You won't always eat that way. I used to drive from one fast food place to another ordering food off the dollar menus, eating it all, buying more, hiding the evidence before getting home, and doing it all over again as soon as I got the chance. Nowadays, I am able to order one item, eat it and be satisfied. Or not go for fast food at all.

Good luck!

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It's understandable that something can embarass you more than something else, even if it doesn't make sense to other people around you. but, you have to get help and support for your problem. and hey, even if it's annonomus, you still admitted your problem on here. that's a good first step. now, go to someone that you can really trust. or maybe search for a support group. anything to help you out.

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