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I want a lobotomy!


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I have such awful depression when I wake up that I'm afraid to go to sleep. Even if I just take a quick power nap and I slip into just a few seconds of unconsciousness, the haunting feelings of a bad childhood and other bad stuff hit me like a ton of bricks. My sister tormented me all my childhood, then shot herself when she was in her 20's, leaving mean suicide notes against me. (I know now it was her hatred of herself, but it still doesn't erase the damage done.) I wish I could have a lobotomy cussing.gifor have my memory erased or shock treatments or something so I wouldn't have such bad dreams. I am on Limactil and Wellbutrin which I understand can intensify this problem, but I'm afraid to go off them. I would just be happy not to have any dreams at all. Any alternatives besides liquor?

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Therapy would probably help.

Talk to your pdoc about meds. Maybe there is something that will work better.

I appreciate that you have awful memories and difficult depression on waking. Your story sounds very tough. I am sorry to hear of it. Not discounting that, but I have to say that there are people here who have to take medication to function that can feel like a chemical lobotomy and others whose only hope for depression relief is ECT. Please don't throw these terms around lightly.

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Heh, talk to your psychiatrist about propranolol. Or, there are lots of drugs that block REM sleep -- especially, ahem, the hypnotic drugs that are used as sleeping pills.

But really - those are bandaids. The problem isn't the memory - the problem is the pain. So look into a psychotherapist that offers EMDR therapy.

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Therapy would probably help.

Talk to your pdoc about meds. Maybe there is something that will work better.

I appreciate that you have awful memories and difficult depression on waking. Your story sounds very tough. I am sorry to hear of it. Not discounting that, but I have to say that there are people here who have to take medication to function that can feel like a chemical lobotomy and others whose only hope for depression relief is ECT. Please don't throw these terms around lightly.

Thanks for your well-worded response, and your point is well taken. I will pursue your recommendations and update on them when I have seen a change.

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  • 4 weeks later...
  • 7 months later...

I know that this is an older thread i only contribute for the greater good and benefit of others looking for information.

Assumining that the "i want a lobotomy" is not a serious request - EMDR (eye movement desensitization and reprocessing) performed by a Phychologist or Psychotherapist will help with post traumatic stress..

On the slight chance that you are serious about the lobotomy: This procedure, and to a lesser extent ECT, are deliberately inflicted brain injuries, that will bring on their own, more massive traumatic stresses than you existing traumas.

EMDR is non-invasive and does not destroy the brain's structure and capabilities.

Try EMDR.

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