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i am robosapien and need to talk


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depression, anxiety, blah blah blah. been seeing psych for 2 years. mid 20s male.

now, im having that whole rash of bullshit where you think the cops are out to get you all the time. my psychiatrist recently yelled at me and said "THATS BULLSHIT!" about something i said.

i refuse to take anymore pills. they are a way for the inner circle to control the outer circle of people like me. they do no good and only bring me problems. marijuana solves all of this but i live in a backwoods archaic fucked off state that still believes in talking snakes from 2000 years ago and that marijuana makes people kill whites. so, here i come full circle, i cannot enjoy my self administered marijuana treatments because of the anxiety over the cops, government, etc.

i spend most of the day thinking about all the ways that the police will ruin my life. they will frame me, manipulate me, trick me, in order to put me in jail for the rest of my life because i have a joint and most importantly because i am not one of "them". the dockers and polo shirt wearing JAG that works in an office, has three kids, and thinks regis philbin is funny.

the US government is the most succesful organized crime group in the history of the world and the police force is there lackey henchmen out ruining lives. when the hurricane irene was coming up to the east coast i remember thinking to myself "all those US catastrophy relief fuckers have dicks as hard as little hammers right now, because once the hurricane hits they can ruin peoples lives in the aftermath and be heralded as heroes on the 'power's' tv network newscast.

i have extreme issues with authority.

tell me to fuck off.

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Guest Vapourware

Hai there,

What is this inner and outer circle that you speak of?

To be honest, marijuana will probably make you feel worse. Weed can exacerbate feelings of paranoia, which I think you're facing at the moment. I personally think it's a better idea to take the pills rather than weed. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against weed and I smoke a little bit from time to time, but there's a rash of studies about how weed has negative effects on symptoms of MI.

Even if the police did catch you with a joint, legally they can't use that to throw you into prison "forever". Depending on how much they catch you with, maybe some community work, short jail sentence or a fine.

Is there also a reason behind why you have issues with authority?

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Hai there,

What is this inner and outer circle that you speak of?

To be honest, marijuana will probably make you feel worse. Weed can exacerbate feelings of paranoia, which I think you're facing at the moment. I personally think it's a better idea to take the pills rather than weed. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against weed and I smoke a little bit from time to time, but there's a rash of studies about how weed has negative effects on symptoms of MI.

Even if the police did catch you with a joint, legally they can't use that to throw you into prison "forever". Depending on how much they catch you with, maybe some community work, short jail sentence or a fine.

Is there also a reason behind why you have issues with authority?

the inner circle is the group who believe in god and "do the right thing" and frown upon those who dont, but feel self righteous about themselves. they believe that all doctors are good, they think the police are their friends and they buy into the system. they enjoy simple things, and they believe in the govt and police force....PAWNS. the outer circle are the ones who question what the inner circle stands for and gets written off as :"crazy".

i have no idea what my issue with authority stems from. no specific event. being seen as "beneath" anybody else infuriates me. i have had many many verbal confrontations with just about anybody i have had interaction with who is of any authority...i was asked to leave more college classrooms than i ever passed.

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Hey

As an anarchist anti-authoritarian it's possible to manage that, statist oppression, and a mental illness at the same time. Does it take some work, and compromise, and research? Yes. But anything worth fighting for does.

Do whatever you want to do. Just know that you'll be a way for effective cop-fighter if you can think clearly. And sometimes that means pretending to be The Man for an afternoon here and there to infiltrate them in turn.

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Hey

As an anarchist anti-authoritarian it's possible to manage that, statist oppression, and a mental illness at the same time. Does it take some work, and compromise, and research? Yes. But anything worth fighting for does.

Do whatever you want to do. Just know that you'll be a way for effective cop-fighter if you can think clearly. And sometimes that means pretending to be The Man for an afternoon here and there to infiltrate them in turn.

please share your experiences and what you have done to achieve, kindred spirit.

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Hi. Absolutely .love your username.

Sorry life's sucking so much dude. Paranoia is a bitch. Are you usually this paranoid? Or has it gotten worse lately?

Where are you vaguely located? Bible belt USA? I don't mean at this very moment, but relocation might be a good idea if that's the case. Nothing exacerbates feeling like people are out to get you like being surrounded by bible thumpers and backward hilljacks who talk about how horrible,disgusting, and hellbound everyone else is. I don't know how anyone who lives in a super-religious area but is not a believer or of a different faith survives it. I'd go nuts. Er...more nuts. ;)

Actually, on second thought, I'd probably be dead. The uber-religious GOP worshipping Southerners probably have guns and I can't help but stand my ground against bullshit and semi-universal delusion, so my mouth would get me in trouble. You try to do it in a nice way and they still want to hurt you. Fucking insane assholes they are. I'm sure there's exceptions to the rule, but fucking A. Something wrong with those folks.

If your therapist is yelling at you, I advise you to find a new one that can keep his shit together.

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i totally understand and agree with what you are saying. i cant fucking stand those conservative republican christians. they are the source of a huge portion of my rage. i live in a highly urban area of texas. conservative political and religious stuff is a big trigger for me and my paranoia, so it comes and goes.

i cant explain or say enough about how much i fucking hate anyone with any form of religious belief.

you may be on to something.

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Work: we volunteer with the mentally ill on occasion running a not-for-profit DIY bike shop space. Some need their bikes. Some need their volunteer hours to keep their monnies up. Some need to get out of the house. Whatever.

Compromise: if you need to take your meds to fit in and to keep your wits about you then you need to take your meds. How do you expect to outrun/outlast/outfight if you can't see straight? Being able to infiltrate and play by their rules (which is required when you're oppressed - there's a reason that slaves are so obedient) requires that you think like them. We happen to find that you can be much more effective if you can think like the enemy.

Research: know your rights. Be very vigilant for them. Fight for them. Don't let them get away. Demand what is yours. Understand that this requires that you know them and can manipulate the language just as well as those who would do the same against you.

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Work: we volunteer with the mentally ill on occasion running a not-for-profit DIY bike shop space. Some need their bikes. Some need their volunteer hours to keep their monnies up. Some need to get out of the house. Whatever.

Compromise: if you need to take your meds to fit in and to keep your wits about you then you need to take your meds. How do you expect to outrun/outlast/outfight if you can't see straight? Being able to infiltrate and play by their rules (which is required when you're oppressed - there's a reason that slaves are so obedient) requires that you think like them. We happen to find that you can be much more effective if you can think like the enemy.

Research: know your rights. Be very vigilant for them. Fight for them. Don't let them get away. Demand what is yours. Understand that this requires that you know them and can manipulate the language just as well as those who would do the same against you.

what are your goals for your lifestyle, kindred spirits?

great answers. thank you! but im just wondering what is the end result in sight that would satisfy you in regards to this lifestyle?

my goal is to end all religion and police.

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I hate how it's so acceptable to bash religion and talk about wanting to end it when those of us who are religious around here make a point not to push it down anyone's throat. I couldn't give a flying fuck whether anyone shares my own beliefs, but I do hate being typecast as intolerant just because I privately believe in God. Not all Christians are hateful ignorant people.

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I hate how it's so acceptable to bash religion and talk about wanting to end it when those of us who are religious around here make a point not to push it down anyone's throat. I couldn't give a flying fuck whether anyone shares my own beliefs, but I do hate being typecast as intolerant just because I privately believe in God. Not all Christians are hateful ignorant people.

maybe not hateful, but definately ignorant.

i know this is harsh and i know im being an ass, but if nobody says this the world will continue on its downward spiral until people quit putting up with religion.

its like standing up to racism. if generations ago nobody stood up to racists the world would still have that problem. im doing my part to stand up to religion in order to make the world a better place. sorry you are caught in the crossfire. i hate to be mean to you on a personal level. i hope you understand.

i can feel your pain. i hate that it is acceptable for religion to be ok but lack of religion to be seen as a negative. schools have "christian Athlete" programs. but i would have been sent to the electric chair if i wanted to start an "atheist musician" group.

i wasnt pushing anything down anybody's throat or being intolerant until you said your little piece just now. i was just stating my goal.

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Hi. Absolutely .love your username.

Sorry life's sucking so much dude. Paranoia is a bitch. Are you usually this paranoid? Or has it gotten worse lately?

Where are you vaguely located? Bible belt USA? I don't mean at this very moment, but relocation might be a good idea if that's the case. Nothing exacerbates feeling like people are out to get you like being surrounded by bible thumpers and backward hilljacks who talk about how horrible,disgusting, and hellbound everyone else is. I don't know how anyone who lives in a super-religious area but is not a believer or of a different faith survives it. I'd go nuts. Er...more nuts. ;)

Actually, on second thought, I'd probably be dead. The uber-religious GOP worshipping Southerners probably have guns and I can't help but stand my ground against bullshit and semi-universal delusion, so my mouth would get me in trouble. You try to do it in a nice way and they still want to hurt you. Fucking insane assholes they are. I'm sure there's exceptions to the rule, but fucking A. Something wrong with those folks.

If your therapist is yelling at you, I advise you to find a new one that can keep his shit together.

Um... yeah, not all southerners are gun weilding uber-religious GOP worshipers. And those who are are really not so much out to physically assault whoever disagrees with them. I'm in Alabama. I thoroughly disagree with all the Jesus and GOP loving, and say so all the time. Yet no one's ever come after me with a gun.

Have to say, your ill informed prejudice isn't much more appealing than theirs.

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Hey, I have no problems with atheism, nor do I wish to see church and state entwined, or everyone under the grip of organized religion. I'm not a racist, homophobic or sexist person either. I just resent the fact that people on this board feel it's okay to talk about my beliefs like it's a 'delusion' and then complain that religious people stomp all over their precious atheism. I don't go around this board trying to influence other users spiritual beliefs, and I'd like it if people could refrain from pissing all over mine. If you want to be left in peace to your lack of faith, that is fine by me. Just don't go around making out that people like me are your problem in life.

I've been very careful not to dismiss your world view as paranoid delusion, I'd appreciate it if you'd show me the same courtesy.

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I hate how it's so acceptable to bash religion and talk about wanting to end it when those of us who are religious around here make a point not to push it down anyone's throat. I couldn't give a flying fuck whether anyone shares my own beliefs, but I do hate being typecast as intolerant just because I privately believe in God. Not all Christians are hateful ignorant people.

maybe not hateful, but definately ignorant.

i know this is harsh and i know im being an ass, but if nobody says this the world will continue on its downward spiral until people quit putting up with religion.

its like standing up to racism. if generations ago nobody stood up to racists the world would still have that problem. im doing my part to stand up to religion in order to make the world a better place. sorry you are caught in the crossfire. i hate to be mean to you on a personal level. i hope you understand.

i can feel your pain. i hate that it is acceptable for religion to be ok but lack of religion to be seen as a negative. schools have "christian Athlete" programs. but i would have been sent to the electric chair if i wanted to start an "atheist musician" group.

i wasnt pushing anything down anybody's throat or being intolerant until you said your little piece just now. i was just stating my goal.

If you know you're being an ass, why continue it? Titania is not ignorant by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not even sure what her religious beliefs are, but I have no doubt she came to them after educating herself thoroughly, and doing a lot of questioning and soul searching. She has every right to tell you you're being an ass when you are. Religion and racism have nothing implicitly in common. Not only are you being an ass, your showing such poorly interrogated ignorance, it's painful to read. Though unsurprising, given the pride you take in having been booted out of school for inappropriate behavior.

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ok titania. respect. i mean you no ill.

i must adress this however:

Just don't go around making out that people like me are your problem in life.

religious people ARE my problem in life. people with MI have triggers. religion is a HUGE trigger of mine. this is real. please do not discredit my problems or act like religion is impervious to being the root of ones problems.

some people its helicopters, some people its loud noises...me, its religion.

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i totally understand and agree with what you are saying. i cant fucking stand those conservative republican christians. they are the source of a huge portion of my rage. i live in a highly urban area of texas. conservative political and religious stuff is a big trigger for me and my paranoia, so it comes and goes.

i cant explain or say enough about how much i fucking hate anyone with any form of religious belief.

you may be on to something.

The fact of something being a trigger for you has no bearing whatsoever on whether it's good or bad. How can you possibly say you weren't pushing anything down anyone's throat, or being intolerant until Titania you were being an offensive jackass, when you'd already voiced your extreme, irrational, hatred for anyone with any form of religious belief?

Your ideas are immature, offensive, and ill informed. You really need to stop spending so much time on conspiracy theory sites on the internet, go back on meds, and go back to school.

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I don't doubt that it is. Organized religion is responsible for many evils in the world, being a bisexual woman with MI and a Buddhist father, don't I know it personally. However, people who make out I'm an intolerant and ignorant because I believe in God are a particular trigger of mine. So watch the generalizations you make around here. Talk about actual incidences and people who have wronged you, by all means, but I'm gonna call you out on making prejudiced assumptions about members like me who don't go around making your problems worse.

It's shades of gray, not black and white, out there.

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I hate how it's so acceptable to bash religion and talk about wanting to end it when those of us who are religious around here make a point not to push it down anyone's throat. I couldn't give a flying fuck whether anyone shares my own beliefs, but I do hate being typecast as intolerant just because I privately believe in God. Not all Christians are hateful ignorant people.

maybe not hateful, but definately ignorant.

i know this is harsh and i know im being an ass, but if nobody says this the world will continue on its downward spiral until people quit putting up with religion.

its like standing up to racism. if generations ago nobody stood up to racists the world would still have that problem. im doing my part to stand up to religion in order to make the world a better place. sorry you are caught in the crossfire. i hate to be mean to you on a personal level. i hope you understand.

i can feel your pain. i hate that it is acceptable for religion to be ok but lack of religion to be seen as a negative. schools have "christian Athlete" programs. but i would have been sent to the electric chair if i wanted to start an "atheist musician" group.

i wasnt pushing anything down anybody's throat or being intolerant until you said your little piece just now. i was just stating my goal.

If you know you're being an ass, why continue it? Titania is not ignorant by any stretch of the imagination. I'm not even sure what her religious beliefs are, but I have no doubt she came to them after educating herself thoroughly, and doing a lot of questioning and soul searching. She has every right to tell you you're being an ass when you are. Religion and racism have nothing implicitly in common. Not only are you being an ass, your showing such poorly interrogated ignorance, it's painful to read. Though unsurprising, given the pride you take in having been booted out of school for inappropriate behavior.

im entitled to my opinions.

you assume a lot in your post. you are projecting a lot on me. i am very frustrated with who i am and why i say the things i say. i have no pride from being an asshole and getting in confrontations with school deans.i wish i wasnt this way.

i understand i must be responsible for my actions despite what it is that makes me the way i am be it paranoid delusions, bipolar, schizo or whatever...but i am not willing to bend on this. i mean nobody any ill will on a personal level. please understand that. however i will never ever show any respect for religion.

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