Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Depressed - when to seek help


Recommended Posts

I got discharged from the hospital yesterday after being admitted for being depressed and sort of compulsively suicidal. I was admitted under a Form 1 in Ontario, so I had no choice.

I didn't like being there, and being there by force, so I did everything possible to get out.

I'm not sure if I made a mistake.

I'm not suicidal anymore, though I'm still thinking about my pills and figuring out how many I have.

But I go in and out of terrible depression (like every hour or so). It's AWFUL.

I've left a message on my pdoc's machine but his admin is out of the office and I would be shocked to hear from him. My old therapist is on vacation but says he will find an appointment for me on his return from vacation on Tuesday.

I don't know what I should do. I'm at work and I can barely stand it.

Should I go back to a hospital? Perhaps a different one? There is the main psych hospital, or the one that my pdoc works out of, which would make sense. And they have this clinic:

http://www.uhn.ca/Clinics_&_Services/clinics/psychiatry/programs/GPA/Clinics/PESU.asp

Do you think if I go, depressed, but not suicidal, they'll do anything for me, or will they just tell me to go away? Will they admit me involuntarily again?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Jarn, I don't know the answer to all your questions as I am not in Ontario.... you could try somewhere else as you are still having obsessive thoughts about your meds, really, so I'm not quite sure the suicidality has passed entirt ely. Is there any kind of crisis outpt mental health clinic you could go to for an urgent pdoc appt to reassess your meds?

Also, is there any way you could take a few days off work and rest?

anna

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Your description of the hospital experience sounded pretty awful, but it seemed like it may have been the hospital, rather than intensive treatment generally. If you're still really suicidal, its a really good option to consider. Another is coming up with a safety plan with your psychiatrist that would probably involve your husband...including giving meds one day at a time. does your psychiatrist have any thoughts on what's appropriate?

I've been inpatient twice and both were helpful and necessary...but it doesn't sound like the last place was particularly helpful, even if it was necessary. Looking to see if the other one is better wouldn't hurt.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think that if you think you actually might take all of your meds or harm yourself in some other way, you should go back to the hospital (maybe there is a different one?). Can you go home from work right now? Have Toby keep all of your meds away from you, either lock them in his car or have him hide them...whatever. I think that it's important that you are not alone right now, so make sure either Toby can be with you or Mom or whoever. Is there any way that the hospital that your pdoc is affiliated with can get in contact with your pdoc for you since his receptionist is out of the office? Maybe you or Toby could call this other hospital and see what their inpatient program consists of so that you can decide if going there would be helpful. If you go back in, try to stay until you are actually feeling a little better. I did what you did and lied and said I was doing way better than I actually was because I wanted to go home (and felt guilty about how much it was costing my parents). I regretted it and I think I would have gotten better WAY sooner had I stayed there. I'm sorry things are so tough right now :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I agree with staff I think you need rest you definetly do not need to be at work right now and I think if you were going back to a hospital or clinic regardless of how you get there you should take full advantage of the services rendered there no matter the situation or how you feel at the time if i was you I would go to the hospital that my pdoc works out of and honestly from what I read it sounds to me like this is a good ideal if your counting pills you better get help regardless of your pride the last time I went in it was forced at first it bothered me but I got over it and took full advantage of all the services I was honest with these people I mean why lie if have a problem lets get a change in medication a tweak lets resolve the issue and go on until the next time which there usually is. my best wishes

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am at home now - have been for awhile. It's helping, less stimulation is less stressful for me.

I feel better about the meds atm, so I am waiting for Toby to get home so we can discuss. My mom met me at work and came part of the way home with me and then I told her I was fine.

Very tired though, a bit out of it - small dose Seroquel I'm sure.

I took home some work, but I am knitting (mindfulness!) right now. And listening to bad music :)

I have some choices re therapy though on the whole I'd prefer to go with my old therapist.

There are crisis lines I can call but I don't know of any that do emerg. med reviews. We thought of going to the clinic I posted but figured they'd turn me away if I wasn't suicidal, and I don't want to be Form 1'd again. I want to be free, and able to see my pets and run when I feel up to it, plus I have a race next weekend if I feel well enough.

Oh, and I am thinking of going of Abilify, I never had this anxiety before it. My mom is worried I will become psychotic though, so I don't know what to do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...