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Hi, I've been stuggling for a really long time now with a mixed state manic episode. I usually take prn Xanax, but found an old supply of 1 mg Klonnies and I took one today to level myself off. I'm on vacation with my family and extended family and my mind is really quickly deteriorating. We've been in FL for only 4 days (I live in the awful NE) and I'm already not speaking to part of my family. BTW, we're all sharing a 3 bedroom condo. So, rather than flip out, I took the one mg Klonopin.

What I'm wondering is, does anyone take klonopin on a regular basis as an anti-manic? My mixed state just will not recede and the tensions are so high I'm ready to either move to a homeless shelter when I get back or suicide (?). My family hates me and they're always plotting against me. I can't bear to be around them anymore. If they're going to make decisions about me without me, then they may as well try to have me committed again. They already treat me as though I'm not around or too far gone to notice or care.

Anyone? Thanks!

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HEY SYLVAN! What, are you my stalker now? GET A LIFE! And leave mine alone.

If you have nothing pleasant to say than don't say anything. You're what? 52 years old? GROW UP.

In the meantime, if anyone has helpful suggestions for me, I'm open to hearing them. Thank you!

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Unless you really need to, I wouldn't use Klonopin as an anti-manic. Klonopin can cause depression in some people. Also, long term use of benzodiazapines are not recommended, as you can build a tolerance to them and need higher and higher doses to achieve the same effect.

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I only take the Xanax as a last resort, maybe a couple times a week and sometimes none for 4 months at all. But I was researching other sites that touched on using Klonopin for acute mania, so I wanted to see if anyone here had first hand knowledge/experience with that.

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Why don't you call your doctor? I know it is a holiday weekend but maybe you will get a return call. If you could talk to your doctor he might, might be able to call in an AAP rescue med, or give you some instruction on your benzo use.

How many more days do you have to stay in a 3 bedroom condo with extended family? Lots of people use a benzo to take the edge off during an episode. Would you consider going to the ER in Florida?

You really need medical care, especially when you start tossing around the suicide word, and other catastrophizing. Are you sleeping? I would take a safe dose of xanax to try and get a good nights sleep. And then consider staying back at the condo tomorrow and resting, have some solitude. I would not run around in the heat sightseeing, going to Epcot center, or Disney world. But first I could call my doctor or go to the ER or Urgent Care.

What mood stabilizer are you taking?

Do you have any AAP with you?

What is your normal plan with your doctor for managing an episode?

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I'm on 400 lamictal and tradezone just to sleep. 1 mg Risperdal am and pm. Going back to CT on Wednesday. Pdoc away until 9/16. I'm tired of fighting with my family. They constantly yell at me and berate me and accuse me of being irrational and paranoid. And you know what? Sometimes I am. But that's not what's happening here. Newer family members aren't even making the effort to get to know me (1 brothers GF, another SIL). I give up. I'm tired of constantly being at odds with them to show them that I am a person, too. I'm not just an illness. Recently, they've started making decisions about me without including me and to me there's no worse betrayal.

Complicating matters is that part of me wants to keep fighting. During the hypomania that preceded this nightmare, I had set up two businesses and I already have several clients. If I drop my clients to get myself help, then I'm done for. I worked really hard at this, so now I'm stuck trying to please too many people and getting myself sicker. In addition, if I can't find a temp to perm housing situation, I can also kiss my businesses good bye. And if it comes to that, I really have nothing left to live for.

I cant and won't go to anyone here for fear of the baker act. I've heard that they force body searches and force showers and I've got gymnophobia, so I'll die before I let that happen.

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First, yes, Klonopin can be used as an anti-manic in a pinch. It's not really a mood stabilizer and may not do much, but it's better than nothing at times.

What I'm wondering, though, is why you have Klonopin when you're getting Xanax and stockpiling it without your psychiatrist's permission because of your history of drug abuse? (See http://www.crazyboar...ackouts-anyone/ )

You should not be self medicating at all. That you're dishonest with your providers and are now thinking of taking another med you're not prescribed is probably part of the reason you're so bad off. You need to make the effort to be honest and listen to your doctors if you want your treatment to work.

And frankly, your mixed state sounds like it's mostly from Jersey-shore-esque drama that you're actively participating in. Maybe going inpatient wouldn't be the worst thing for you.

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I found klonopin from an old script I had (I think I have about 6 pills). Thought in a pinch, I should try something different. Abs as indicated in my prior Xanax blackout post, that's precisely why I thought I'd try a klonopin instead of a Xanax. That blackout scared the crap out of me. I also don't want to be in a fog while I'm down here, but the klonopin just leveled me.

As far as Jersey Shore goes, I've never seen it, so you must know more about that drama than I do. Just sayin.

I vacillate between giving life my all and giving it up completely. Black or white. Yes or no. There is no middle ground, no base level.

I joined these forums to get and give support, but it seems my posts are provoking others and theirs are provoking me. Maybe this is the wrong avenue again. Kick em when they're down. I don't know. Whatever. Some people here are no better than the supposed support I have at home (which isn't many).

Seriously, just forget it. I'll give into sylvan and just give up. Move on. Funny how I can't even be accepted by people that go through similar struggles with MI. If crazyboards won't accept me, then it's quite obvious that I'll never be accepted anywhere, so I may as well give up trying.

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How much therapy have you had? The all-or-nothing thinking doesn't help, and it makes mood lability even worse. It amplifies whatever you have going on organically. That's where therapy is helpful. You seem to be getting offended by Every Little Thing, which I get. That happens when your moods are off. But maybe the years of meds aren't working because you need the right kind of therapy as well.

As far as Jersey Shore goes, what can I say, I'm a long-term insomniac with a Netflix subscription.

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Guest Vapourware

If I recall correctly, Lamictal is not much an anti-manic, so perhaps you need to change your mood stabiliser. Klonopin as an anti-manic...never really heard of it used in that way?

Even if it did come from an old script, it's really best not to be mixing and matching your own meds.

I agree with muriel and perhaps you need more therapy regarding your thought processes. Having a black and white mentality isn't going to help you. People on CB ARE wanting to help you, but just because people are critiquing your choices doesn't necessarily they are critiquing you, the person. It seems to me that at this moment, you are having difficulty differentiating that line.

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My doctor will use klonopin as an adjunct to other things as an anti-manic. benzos can calm an episode, but not really treat the underlying processes.

it is important to not mix and match meds, and to not be taking old scripts.

Also, you need to get away from your family NOW if it's that bad, however you might need to do that.

And yes, therapy is never a bad idea.

Anna

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