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Mental Self-Harm?


Dianna

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Curious if others find these things as forms of self-harm.

When in a bad place mentally I tend to find ways to make me feel worse. I find disturbing pictures online, which contain a lot of blood and some cutting.

I like to music about suicide and other things where the singer is just about as crazy as they come, at least in lyrics. I listen to a lot of Mary Magdalan when not doing good, or even when I am good.

I kept a tumblr for awhile full of the darkest images I could find. I would sit at my computer non-stop looking for pictures that were dark and the last thing my mind needed.

My husband said this is self-harm, not to my body but to my mind. Just curious what others think.

Dianna

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it's hard to know what to say about this.... in some ways i could see it as a release, but if it becomes constant and disturbing and worsens your mood I could see it as very damaging. when I am depressed I I google a lot of research studies to kind of wish for a new med or something to help me. maybe you could try coming here for support, and/or also listening to SOME more positive music and looking for some positive images as well?

Anna

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I wouldn't call this self harm as such, because you aren't physically harming yourself. However, I know exactly how mentally distressing this is, and also that it is just as addictive, in a way, as self-harming or self medicating. I have done the same thing in the past, and still do do the same thing, especially listening to depressing music.

There may not be a name for this, but it's still making you feel worse. My advice would be to try and avoid doing it. If you're feeling down, come on CB, or find someone IRL who you can talk to. Try to avoid being alone and making yourself worse, because that will only lead to you doing worse things such as self harming or trying to commit suicide.

I hope it makes you feel better, at least, to know that there are other people out there whole do the same thing and feel the same way. If you ever are feeling bad, we are here to talk, share experiences, and give advice.

Good luck,

N

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  • 1 month later...

[Triggers.]

Pictures, words, bad situations from my past, triggers. I smash myself in the fucking face with these today. I need to stop, I can't, it's "less invasive" than cutting but it gives the same..shock of clarity followed by pain and self-disgust. Only that afterwards, I'm even more triggered for physical SI. FUCK.

I have been doing this longer than anything physical actually.

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In my opinion (and that's all this is, it's def NOT a diagnosis or anything like that) it does sound like mental self harm, if it's comsuming or significantly intruding upon ur everyday life and making your mood worse, then I would say that it fits into the category of self harm even if there are no physical/ outward signs.

These days most of my self harm is done "mentally", negative thoughts, saying over & over that I don't deserve to be happy etc, negative self talk etc, so different to what you have stated, but still damaging in it's own way.

So yeah, I would agree with your hubby on this, but as I said, that's just my opinon.

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