Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

Once upon a time I went to a good private school and was a straight A student...whom one might presuppose to be smart. That was 6 years ago and was doomed only to get worse throughout high school and my first college...I somehow scraped a 1400 SAT and 3.5 GPA... I've experienced social anxiety and depression for years now but over the last year or so a paranoia has emerged in which I believe I am actually mentally handicapped.... I smoked too much weed and abused too many amphetamines and this idea grew until I had a psychotic breakdown 3 months ago where I skirted pretty close to stimulant OD and other near death encounters. I've been put on zyprexa and prozac but I can barely walk, talk, and for the matter think clearly anymore. It's as if my brain is in fact fried like I suffered a stroke of some sort or just pure brain death....Anyway I still have auditory hallucinations of people whispering behind my back of my condition and perhaps I have even created a self fulfilling prophecy because I've been living like a challenged individual for some time...I've turned back to stimulants (nicotine, caffeine) as I was near suicidal today due to my paranoia...I think I have a precursor to schizophrenia or at least I want to because I really don't know what to believe anymore...I can't live anymore and every moment off a stimulant is dull, depressing, and frightening....I suppose I wanted to catharsis all over this forum in this moment of clarity because I'm truly terrified at the moment...and perhaps someone here can relate...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm sorry to hear what you are going through. But, please, stay away from the stimulants. They can cause psychosis, and they most certainly will aggravate existing psychosis.

Go back to your pdoc and describe what you are going through. There are alternatives to Zyprexa that are stimulating, but yet treat psychosis. I also think it's a good idea for you to see a therapist.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest Vapourware

Sorry to hear about what is happening. Unfortunately, for a lot of people with schizophrenia spectrum conditions - some cognitive dulling can occur. Sometimes it's the schizophrenia spectrum issue itself being a factor, sometimes it's the meds, sometimes it's a mix of both. I know that after my last psychotic episode, my brain doesn't feel quite 100%. It's mostly there [maybe 90% there?], but I do feel like my memory has lapsed somewhat. I find that I word-search more often now, for instance.

Three months is not that long away from being out from a psychotic episode, so perhaps you are still recovering from that. It's good to touch base with your doctor to see what is happening, and also with your therapist. Sometimes it can also be a warped self-perception leading you to think that your cognitive functions are worse than they actually are.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...