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It's really hard to get used to taking medication. It's even harder to accept that you really need to take those pills every evening. All that happens again when the count goes up another one. Two to three. Doesn't sound like much but it is. At least for a while. I'm sorry you've been diagnosed and have to take meds. It sucks but it's better than swinging and instability in life. Stability really is the thing. With that comes a more normal life where you can accomplish things. Really, three meds isn't a lot even though it may always seem to be.

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It is hard. I hate that I have to take meds, but I know that if I want to be stable and have a good life I have to.

I struggled with this alot when I was first diagnosed too. Before I brought psych meds into my home after my psychotic break I didn't even keep tylenol here. We used tea's and essential oils as medicines.

I used to have to force myself to put those damn things in my mouth, it made me feel weak to need them.

But eventually you get used to it. You begin to understand that it's not your fault, it's not a weakness, it's a medical necessity.

Just take each day as it comes, and stay compliant with your meds, and focus on getting better.

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It is fairly common to have a rather large cocktail of meds.... when I look at what I take, oy.

But the fact is, I'd rather be on enough meds to be stable, than undermedicated and crazy. And taking enough when I need to paradoxically leads to quicker resolutions of episodes, which results in less meds when I am stable, which is really the goal I shoot for.

LOL, I need to update my sig, heh. It has changed. I am so bad about this. But right now I take: Seroquel, Risperdal, Depakote, Neurontin, tienaptine, provigil, klonopin, temazepam, and for non psych meds, a cholestorol blocker and glucophage (metformin).

Wow, I'm up to 10. Lovely. Heh. Have not sat down and counted in a while.

I'm lucky I have a lovely liver that takes my abuse.

When I'm stable, I'm on a lot less meds. I'm in the middle of an episode. Just started reducing the klonopin, which will be the first to go.....

Granted, I freely admit I am one of the most crazy bipolars to walk the earth and live, but I'd rather take what I need and function than go to *that place*. That place.... sucks.

Anna

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I'm not on that combo, but I only take three meds (occasionally a PRN). I don't know if I'll ever be accepting of taking medication - I'm just that way - but I take my pills daily as prescribed. I go through phases where I'm fine with it and phases where I am so unbelievably pissed off that I have to take meds to survive I go on long tangents about it on my blog or occasionally throw a pillow against the wall (Satisfying, yet safe). I know I should radically accept that I need medication, but I'm not there at the moment. I hope to be someday. I'm working on it.

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sunshine, I think it is actually a good sign that your doctor is already working with several meds, and trying to find a good cocktail for you. The alternative is sort of ugly - I took one med for four years, with a doctor who would not discuss change. i was not stable, I had a lot of problems, my poor husband would call her and leave messages and she took the attitude that he was difficult. Yet I was raging and crying and in turmoil. I am very, very happy on my meds now, with a different doctor of course. Better to get stable as quickly as possible. Then you will have less damage to your life.

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