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Hey, i was just looking around and saw something about death... Can someone tell me (background first):

I'm the sort of person who outwardly is happy and very active and a bit hyper, but i'm often down, and am very hormonal, and prone to occasional self-harming ritual.

I've never felt the need to see a doctor so i'm not on any meds.

So, I've got a super active imagination, and whenever my life is in motion and my thoughts have a chance to drift I'm always slipping into the daydreams of death, e.g. if i'm a passenger in a car i'll vidualise us in a horrible car accident, etc etc. Often when i say bye to people i wonder if its the last time i'm seeing them. It happens many times a day, for a few years now i think. Its a bit creepy seeing death in so many ways, and i can't help it, its like a trance.

What i'm curious about is, does anyone else have that? I got impression that it may be a diagnosable condition?

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We can't diagnose you. You'll need to talk to a psychiatrist. What you're describing could indicate multiple conditions. Or it may be one. No telling. Whatever it is, you need a doctor.

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Even if we could diagnose you, which we can't, unless you see a doctor a dx isn't worth anything to you. I don't even think this is indicative of any particular condition, but it definitely points to a problem. You need to see a doctor while you can still get ahead of this, the sooner the better.

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again, we can't diagnose you, but...

Often when i say bye to people i wonder if its the last time i'm seeing them.

i deal with this every day when i'm depressed. it's really, really troubling.

my mother once said to me (when we were small) "you'd be sorry if your sister got hit by a car today and the last thing she heard was you being mean to her". i NEVER forgot that. i don't really dwell on it though until there's something else wrong with my head. then it's ALL THE TIME. i don't even like to write anything nasty to anyone online for the same reason. if my husband or daughter leave the house, i HAVE to say something nice before they go. they HAVE to know i love them or i could never live with myself if they died.

*goes off to obsess about husband dying while playing tennis somehow*

(please feel free to make jokes about this - i do know dying via tennis ball is utterly ridiculous and i'd rather laugh about it than worry)

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