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Hello! I'm new to the board, and I have inattentive ADD.

I've been struggling with ADD my entire life. I remember clearly as a child, trying to force my mind to focus on something simple, like a tree, and getting frustrated with the fact that the harder I tried, the more my mind tended to wander.

I wanted to 'meditate' like my older sister used to do. She said it was easy. Just sit down, relax, and focus on something simple like a tree. I couldn't ever do it. This should be easy, right? Wrong. Now I'm 37 with a combined family, and facing these issues all over again.

I have this anxiety over doing what I'm supposed to do. I don't know how else to explain it, but it's almost like a constant struggle between myself and my brain. If I tell myself, "I need to get 'this and this' done", then I seem to be interested in anything BUT what I'm supposed to be doing. It's insane, and depressing all at once. I was on meds (welbutrin and adderall) for a while from 2004-2006, but quit taking them when I went through my divorce.

I've started taking bupropion again (last thursday), and I can start to feel it helping, but we'll see. I'm guessing I'll have to get the adderall back in there for it to all 'click' again.

I feel like my condition is destroying my life. I'm so sick of that 'dread' that comes when I'm asked to complete a project, because I know for a fact that I'll never get it done. I've made it as far as I have on strong intellect alone, but that can only get you so far. I can figure out how things work, and in fact, if it's something that's never been done before, my mind LOVES to get wrapped around it and figure it out, but this is usually at the expense of the actual work that I'm supposed to be doing.

Anywho ... hi!

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