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Why did I have psychosis some days, not others?


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Between January 09 to March 09 I started working. After a while I felt as though everyone I worked with disliked me. I was constantly crying because of this. On top of this I had constipation which was making me very uncomfortable and miserable at work. I was losing weight as well (I have Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) making it extremely hard to lose weight so this was unsual for me). Every time I came home from work I used to watch a recorded TV program called Doctors on BBC which appeared to be repeating the events of my day at work. Everything that happened to me at work was happening on this TV program. I think this was the beginning of my psychosis. Once I left that job the TV stopped sending me these messages. The depression lifted. I put all the weight back on.

Then the next month I started a new job. The delusions returned still being connected to the TV program Doctors. Whenever I took a day off work I didn’t have these delusions. I don’t understand why this was the case. Maybe I was making these connections because I myself was working in a healthcare setting and the TV program was also based on a healthcare setting. I was constantly paranoid that people at work didn’t like me. I was crying a lot. Felt restless. Had constipation. Felt faint often. Lost weight again because of lack of appetite I was eating two meals a day. I went to the hospital to get myself checked out and it turned out my bowel was severely impacted. I left this job again in September because I was feeling so miserable. The delusions later stopped the instant I left the job. The TV program stopped sending me these messages.

I haven't spoken about this to my pdoc, didn't think it was necessary. But was just wondering if people here experience delusions some days and not others like this.

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Guest Vapourware

I agree, it could be stress that was exacerbating the psychosis. There have been times for me where, in the midst of my psychosis, I would have better days than others. On some days, I could be quite clear-headed. On other days, I could be quite paranoid.

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I have some days when I am doing well, though now I see that there was probably some background delusions going on at those times and they just weren't affecting me as much. Then other days where I was a mess.

Though for me I do have days when my hallucinations are more frequent, and then go for a long time without any.

Also for me, there seems to be a difference in my symptoms over the different seasons. In summer I tend to hallucinate more, and winter tends to be not being able to cope with the delusions. But then it is not the same every year. I would say that my psychosis is (approximately, I haven't actually worked this out) 5% hallucinations, 20% delusions, 25% thought control, and 50% anxiety. The anxiety and thought control were constants until I went on meds earlier this year.

Stress is definitely a factor, and this is why I am still out of work. Being stressed is more likely to cause a psychotic episode, and you say that your symptoms were worse when you were working so it may be that this is a factor for you. The other things that tend to affect me is sleep deprivation and possibly the time of year (as I have mentioned in above paragraph).

I am not saying that you will be affected by the same triggers as me, but I do relate kind of to what you are saying.

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