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Neighbor Social Anxiety


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I've lived in a neighborhood for nearly a year now. In the spring we met the neighbors. It seems as though some people know and like each other, even seems a little cliquey. Also, the neighbors host gatherings as a way to be inclusive, I think. Anyhow, there is a neighbor who has made all sorts of off color remarks toward me, including correcting how I talk to my kids (she's a teacher and will change a word for me even though she claims I'm parenting well...), what I do for a living (SAHM working independently a little on the side), the fact that my husband saved us money by building a patio and on an on. This woman complains about so much more and, IMO, has a serious chip on her shoulder. I can't explain it, it's just that I've had red flags going off pretty much since I've met her. I've tried my best to ignore her and even hide from her when I can because she was driving me nuts. She still sought me out, surprisingly, to talk regularly.

Well, a month ago, we had an incident where her daughter tried to shove mine off of a playscape (6 year old trying to push a 3 year old). I made the mistake of confronting the parents (this woman and her husband) and now I'm not a nice person and she keeps her kids away from mine, which is hard to do because there's a common play area and she's directly behind us. I've since learned that you cannot confront parents and, instead, have to ignore bad behaviors from kids. You can only control your own child and keep them separate if I'm not comfortable, etc. This is proper ettiquette. I'm new to having kids play with neighbors....

My problem is I've always been anxious with this woman and feel intimidated by her. She's just SO ANGRY all the time. It's great she's leaving me alone now, but I obsess about the incident all the time and any social ramifications that might come as a result of her ostracizing our family some. So far, there hasn't been any that I'm aware of, but I'm. so. worried. I was worried about her before because she scares me and I couldn't seem to get away from her. I'm putting this under social anxiety because I believe it's the root of this problem. It's like sometimes I'm missing social cues that come so easily to others, especially considering the fact that I'm in my mid-30's. I've been to counseling, on meds in the past. I can't seem to shake the feeling of fear a lot and especially social anxiety. Does anyone have any words of wisdom?

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Unsure if this will go to OCd automatically....though here goes. Sounds like she IS angry all the time.My neighbor certainly is, she scowls or smirks whenever I see her. Granted, on disability, so she probably wonders what the hell I do upstairs some days. Manic days are frenzied cleaning & depressed days are.prostrate on the couch. This woman lives below me & has never complained about any noise. Someone said she's jealous, her husband is super nice!!

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Actually you can confront parents on their behaviors but unfortunately this is usually unhelpful as the worst behaved kids tend to have the worst behaved parents (JMO).

Same with dogs, and people are NUTS about their dogs, man. OMG, one time at the dog park I made my husband stay an extra 45 minutes because I wanted to see the end of a screaming yelling fit and if someone was gonna get decked. Heh.

Ana

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