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I DON"T-----

I don't want to be depessed

I don't want to be alive

I don'y want to cry anymore

I don't want to get out of bed

I don't want to hurt all the time

I don't want to be punished anymore

I don't want to pretend everything is ok

I don't want to have racing thoughts

I don't want to SI myself

I pretty much don't want to be bothered with life anymore

I don't want to feel

Theres one I DO----

I DO WANT TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Depressing and pathetic, I know.

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I'm so sorry that you are feeling so bad. I have no answers, but I just want to let you know that you are not alone. Maybe you could put a call in to your doctor tomorrow as ask to come in to see him/her. I think that you might need a med tweak. I know whenever I get really, really low, changing one or more of my meds gives me hope that I will feel better and that pulls me through.

Also, do you have a tdoc? I think you should print this out as a starting point at your next visit.

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Hi Keltaktorn -

You are not depressing and pathetic - you HURT, which is very real to many of us. I hope you can go to your psy doc and adjust your meds. If you don't have a mental health professional in your life - PLEASE FIND ONE NOW!

All of our lives are complicated, especialiy, if we have chronic pain. I love the clarity of your writing - you have something to offer to the world.


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Thanks guys..I feel a little better today. I just had a breakdown last night and I appreciate the kind words and concern. My lows are really bad but I'm sure everybody on here has the same problem. I will hang in there with you Titania and I'm sorry you're going through the same thing because I would never wish this on anybody. I think I will call my pdoc tomorrow and see if I can get some of my meds changed, a higher dose if possible or just talk to them. Thank you for helping me.

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