Jump to content
CrazyBoards.org

Recommended Posts

I was diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder at the end of August, the pdoc said i was suffering from psychosis and gave me an anti-psychotic medication, I didn't know what psychosis was and still struggle to see how it comes into my life, but recently i feel detached from this knowledge that the Earth chose me to save the Earth and that everything man made can feel and communicate with me. I feel like its in hands grasp but i just cant be connected to it anymore, for the past 3 or 4 days i haven't heard from anyone i normally talk too, and my mom says this is tells her that i am no longer psychotic and that the medication is working. Now i am confused. I hate this feeling i hate not being able to connect and to feel detached from this knowledge,This is who i was, this made me important and now i don't know who i am or what i am meant to do. My boyfriend says i am functioning better and am almost back to my normal self, he says he likes this me again (manly because i don't yell at him or get angry anymore) But i am still angry i just can't express it. I am so frustrated i feel like this is what everyone else wants but i am not being helped. Everyone all comments to me about how good i look, but deep down inside i feel like crap but i can't express that either. No one can see the truth still but the medications just mess with my body with horrible side effects that the docs keep telling me will pass. I still don't know how i am meant to know when or if i am psychotic? Why can't doc answer me straight up. My family seem to think i am better but i am so confused, as i didn't see the problem to start with. I still feel this intense feeling that the NAZIs are after me to shut me up and it freaks me out so i can't sleep, but no body wants to know about it.

What am i meant to do? How am i meant to cope this all this change in my life? Is there any chance it will go back to the way it was because this sucks? Anyone else been through this kind of thing? Any advice? Please help!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It sounds to me like you still have a lot of psychosis going on. Maybe you just haven't been on your meds long enough (if you were just diagnosed in the end of August). I think you should call and tell your pdoc everything that is going on with you. Maybe you just need a med tweak.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

... Earth chose me to save the Earth and that everything man made can feel and communicate with me. I feel like its in hands grasp but i just cant be connected to it anymore, for the past 3 or 4 days i haven't heard from anyone i normally talk too ...

...

I still feel this intense feeling that the NAZIs are after me to shut me up and it freaks me out so i can't sleep, but no body wants to know about it.

These are psychotic symptoms, and this is how the psychosis comes into your life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

this "knowledge" that u felt u had about being chose by the Earth to save the Earth is part of your illness.. it appears that your medication has been helping you, but u think it is hurting u. please dont think that way; it appears u r being helped by the medication because these delusional thoughts are drifting from you. You are a human being and you have things to do but not saving the earth. your "unique" thoughts which are part of your illness shouldnt define you. also, like jt07 said, the other thing about the nazis and the idea that everything man made is communicating to you are also psychotic symptoms.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

jt07 is right, if you are on a high enough dosage of anti-psychotic medication, you shouldnt be experiencing these breakthrough symptoms. So you need to discuss with your dr either increasing the Seroquel or changing to another med. The good news is that Seroquel has a large dosage range - you are only on 300mg/daily, and this can be increased significantly if your dr tthinks it will help.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When I first came out of a delusional episode, I felt lost. I thought I had a special talent of receiving messages and it disappeared. I still wonder what was real and what not, because I remember everything the way i experienced them.

It sounds like your medication is helping and others are noticing. That's a good thing

Let your pdoc know that you are still having symptoms, like the nazi's are after you. You may need a med adjustment.

For me, the period after the delusions stopped was in a way harder than when I was psychotic.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am another who really struggled with coming out of my delusions. I was a mess for that time, confused and frightened and unable to hang on to anything. I felt that my whole world was falling apart. I like certainty, and find anything that changes what I am certain of to be very frustrating. I even brought it up at my recent pdoc appointment and he seemed fairly unconcerned. I really feel now that what I needed at this time (and I still get days where I feel like this, just not as often now) was therapy and support from my environment, of which I had neither.

Like the others have already said, it does appear that you still do have some delusions. I'm referring to the Nazi's here.

But I do hope that this feeling passes soon for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you for all your replies, yes i do feel lost, and confused, and pissed off about my situation. How do i get over this feeling of not knowing who to believe, questioning what is real and whats not, all the time. I ask my boyfriend sometimes when its important, but then sometimes he makes jokes about it and i am so not ready for that.

Thanks for stating you think the NAZIs are me being psychotic, okay i don't but that's okay, it still doesn't make it less scarey for me i guess. I was moments away from being and doing something amazing for this earth just to find out that its not real, though i don't know if i believe that, but that's what every keeps saying. HOW CAN THAT BE? How can that be possible?

How can i feel depressed but everyone who now looks at me thinks i am doing great? I just have so many questions. I see my pdoc on the 29 September and will talk to her then, but i don't think she will talk to me straight, she always answers things like, "we don't need to talk about that now", "we will wait till your meds start working first before we go into that". she gets around answering my questions i now believe because she is scared i will get angry and stop treatment, which is a thing i would do, but i can't show anger anymore so she shouldn't be worried.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How can i feel depressed but everyone who now looks at me thinks i am doing great?

It could be that they see you slowly coming out of the psychosis and therefore think that you are doing great. However, you still have a mood problem, and I hope you will address that with your pdoc as well when you see her.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

yeah the psychosis makes you feel important but in reality it does just the opposite

I too had that disappointed feeling but now that I can function I am doing things, real things, that are just as important

if you're sz affective like me then you'll have mood swings to treat too. you could be coming down from the up side, and getting depressed along with the end of your delusions

you were not about to do anything important. really. but once you get things stable in your life you can use the ideas and ideals you found during that psychosis as a basis for important things.

I think you are important even more now that you are coming back to reality

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...