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I can't understand people and they can't understand me


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I am hoping that I can get some feedback regarding some of the live communication that I have been having recently. I have been having trouble getting across what I try to say.

Maybe I am missing words or not using the right words, I have no idea. When I speak I feel as if I am being very explicit and clear, but the reactions I get are not the correct reactions. It's like people do not think what I have to tell them is important or urgent, when it is; or else no one has any passion about the vision or thought I am trying to convey.

Also, when I listen to what people say to me it seems that they are attacking me verbally and after a long battle and some cool off time it's explained that what was said is not what I heard.

I just can't stop myself from getting so angry if the smallest thing goes wrong. Then I have trouble communicating that there is a problem and what needs to be done about it and then I get angrier that I can't respond correctly.

My pdoc believes that I have been on the verge of a manic swing for a little while now and here it is. Is that all it is? Does anyone else have any similar experiences to share?

I would like to stay out of inpatient, but if I keep getting this angry I might need to go back. We all ready doubled my AAP.

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It could be related to mania. When I was reading through your post I was wondering if you were symptomatic now, and then I read the part about being on the verge of mania.

When I'm manic I'm more passionate and I think things are more urgent than I usually would. That may be why people aren't reacting like you'd expect.

Sometimes my thinking is distorted and I hear people being insulting when they are really trying to be helpful. Sometimes their help isn't what I need at that time.

I can get irritable, too.

Does your pdoc know how you are doing? Your doc would be the best judge of whether you need to go inpatient or can treat this outpatient, I think,

I hope you feel better soon.

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"mania can be irritable". That's almost straight from the DSM. If you are feeling both wound up and depressed it could be a Mixed episode trend.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Work with your pdoc. Take note of these feelings so you can recognize them in the future.

a.m.

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I think it could be the mania/hypomania for sure.

When I become quite manic I have an increasingly hard time communicating with people, but I sometimes don't even know it. If my wife and I were together, she would help me tell a story by interjecting in certain spots and adding information that I forgot. It was almost as if my brain could not distinguish the difference between the info I needed to tell and the info the person already knew. ?

Does that make sense? It's a hard thing to explain, so I feel for ya. I know it can be a distressing feeling when you are talking to someone and get that all too familiar look on there face like "what are you saying!?"

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Oh also I forgot the urgency thing, yes!

That is another manic thing I went through.

One of the my things would be what I called "sweat shopping." I would go into a store and fly around with the shopping cart like a madman at warp speed. I would literally be sweating because I was going so fast and my brain was churning away, and it STILL wasn't fast enough!

Everything had to be done and it all had to be done right away! My to do list became two pages long with every single item having stars by it for immediately. If someone got in my way it pissed me off. "Lazy freak" I would think.

I actually made a video that was supposed to be a "Devine Design" video of me redoing our room. Everything seemed totally normal when I was making the video, but then ten months later when I found it again, it was a bit akward. I just seemed a bit, idk, rushed. Like someone had a gun to my head or something.

Please listen to your doctors advice. It's nothing to be fearful or ashamed of. It's just your body and it's crazy chemical cycles, and it's definitely not your fault.

Keep your head up!

Jason

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